I've Been Told

There are many things in life I choose to forget, but there are some things that I can't forget.

I don't regret my timing or what I said, but I do resent that I could've presented it better instead of at 2am in a bunk bed spooning you form the back. Okay, maybe I regret a little bit but let me grieve the 5 stages.:)

You are not him, but my Him. I just compare sometimes because of the things that I can't forget. And I think I'd be okay if you also felt that same way because I'm not her, just your Her. Love is supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be plain and simple. But isn't that what we all want? When I hear my cousin talk about her life that only consists of waking up, school, church, sleeping; I can't help but envy it a little bit because in a perfect world I would spare myself of all trial and error that I notice, but I don't.

He is not Him, and He's not like him. I've gotta discern that they are completely different.

(I should use name I guess)

Deveon told me over and over he was sorry, that he wanted to take it all back. What am I going to do? I don't want this to be another Deveon situation. And it probably won't, but I can't forget it. If I close my eyes for just a second, it all flashes before my eyes as if it all happened yesterday. I lied to Eli, I'm scared. I put myself out on the table, and now I'm over thinking which shows I am scared. I need to stop. Or else I'll be hypocritical.

Slightly anxious,
Nikki