Friday, October 31, 2008

New Goal

New Goal:It's time. You need to bring up your determination and boost up your confidence. You know you could do so much more important things. You're losing your knowledge of who you are. Stop that. Forget about the less important things just for now. Remember your priorities.

1. Yourself.
2. Church.
3. School.
4. E.C. Activities.
5. Instrumentals [Music]

I need to focus more in believing in myself and having fun with my life and the activities I do. I have a really good life. It's just that I'm way too complicated and complex for my own good. I overthink too much and make everything a huge deal like I overexaggerate big time. My family and friends are equal in my head. I am so down on myself that half the time I forget that I'm suppose to be happy.

When I go to church, it's the only time I get to just think and go over all the decisions I have made. It's the time that I get to think things through and analyze all. I figured out a couple weeks ago that most of the time when you listen to the teachings of God, you don't really have the lessons hit you until you're going against those the commandments. As long as you learn your lesson, it should be okay. But repenting is always the best thing, too.

Education should be my top priority. Since I started school, it has been. But I'm trying something new. I'm trying to put myself and church before education which is taking my focus off school. School is the only thing that can carry me to a bright future and a huge supportment to my success. At school, I feel the need to be perfect in all that I work on and turn in. Anything below an "A" shreds a piece of my brain. I will try my hardest from now on. I'm taking myself to my dream; Stanford. I don't even know what I'll be majoring in, but I know it has to be at Stanford or PennU as my second choice. I feel the need to be the top of the top setting an example to all. Lately though it's been so hard because I feel like that's impossible when it really isn't. All I need to do is put 4x as much effort and hard work than a normal student would. I believe in myself that I can reach this goal.

Even though it is as if my extra curricular activites are overwhelming, they are all for good purposes. After school I never hang out or chill, I go straight to club or study session. I go to my friends' houses to study and help. I am part of Key, Japanese, and Filipino Club. I'm part of Key Club in order to obtain my Community Service hours for College and IB. I have already fulfilled 11 1/2 hours of community service. Filipino Club really sets me on a view on how my etnicity cooperates and acts. I am an honorary member and an officer [treasurer/secretary] of this club. Honestly, I have no attended Japanese Club in over a month. I think I'm going to quit Japanese Club because two clubs are enough. After school I do study sessions such as extra credit, Mr.Z's, and group projects. My last extracurricular is the Freshman Election which I am running in for President. I hope to win that election because I really would like to lead this school in a positive most better way.

Instrumentals is part of my priorities because if I fail in education, I have my musician career to turn to. Music clears my mind and helps me feel more relaxed. It's like the notes, sounds, and rhythm takes me to another place of beat and elapsed time. Since I loved the piano so much, I started my first job as a Piano Teacher. I already have 5 students who are excelling or starting. I feel proud to spread my knowledge and love for music. Besides the piano, I enjoy playing the clarinet. I feel like I can move my body and my fingers more. My lungs and mouth muscles are used to the advantage of playing beautiful jazzy soft music. One day when I've perfected piano, I will learn the guitar.

All of these priorties could only be made if I put no distractions in the way. If I can stay focused and faithful to my duties, then I could do the best that I know I can do.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Stress Level

I've been pretty good lately. I've been getting all my homework done and feeling more confident. In class, I pay attention more and my focus is devoted to the teacher 97% of the time. I wonder how someone could be so stressed. When you're stressed out it effects all around you; social status, family life, and health. The way you process and live through the day is more slower and harder. I'm glad to be getting better now.

New Goals:

-Improve my writing skills.
-Read more.
-Overachieve.
-All A's before the quarter ends. [this week=]
-8 hours of sleep.

Lately I've been thinking of taking more advanced and added classes. I was thinking of taking an extra math class online. I'm excited for it, but pretty worried about all this crammage. I hope to be in accelerated classes than I arleady am. I have very high expectations for myself. Hopefully, I reach them.