Gift List.

1. 500 Days of Summer DVD.
2. A Green Hoodie.
3. A Life-Sized TeddyBear.
4. A Metronome.
5. A Purple Polka-Dot Scarf.
6. Yellow PJ Bottoms.
7. Blue Scarf.
8. A Silver Bracelet.
9. A Golden Necklace.
10. Piano Book with all of Chopin's Classic Favorites.

WOOT WOOT!

When The World Stops.

Selflessness; to think about other's needs above your own.

I want to be more selfish, I think. Like talk more about myself, grow an ego in plain words. I'm not sure how to get there though... Sighs. But see, it depends! With girls, I'd rather talk about them because well they're girls, and girls like talking about themselves. I feel like if I talked about myself though, they'll just judge, space out on it, or wish they could talk about themself. If it's converasting wtih boys, they don't even really care because thye do care. I can't really explain it haha. I asked Deveon about and he said "Boys were just raised to not really give a shiz." Hahaha.

I'm going to try and be more open. But are you willing to pay attention, my friend?
BWAHAHAHAHA!

( . )( . )

Heroes of the day: Emmalyn L., Natrice L., and my orginial Alison B.

Yesterday was the last school day of 2009.
At around 7:30 I surprised Natrice and Emmalyn with Alison and I. We took pics, caught up with one another, talked about a specific brother, love lives, family, Arizona, all kinds of junk hahahaha. We waited the longest time for Nat's mum to wake up and be ready. We ended up eating at Applebee's and having an okay time. Unfortunately, I told Alison about a very disturbing subject which killed her insides and I feel totally horrible about because I should've told her later because she became super upset.=[ She soon got over though during dinner, then we went to Wallgreens to get ice cream which we didn't even eat. We laid in bed at home and talked, then fell asleep on Emmalyn around 1:30a.m.9(so early!!!).
We woke up around 9a.m. and made breakfst; sausages, bigger sausages, bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Just when we finished food, Emmalyn had to leave. After Nat, Als, and I ate, we went down to the Marina and picked at crabs, shrimp, and rocks. WOOT WOOT! Kuya Teddy was our hero for driving us haha. Then we talked for awhile, watched videos, cooked more sausage, Als fell asleep for a bit, Nat's Mum came home, and then we headed on down to Bellevue Square to go ice skating and hang. THAT WAS SUPER FUN! So many inside jokes and awkward moments, too lazy to write hahaha. The way home was quite sad. Mariah Carey started playing and some sad songs reminded me and probably the other two girls about weird stuff. Listening to those songs, and watching buildings pass by me in the night on the way home created a door in my head where I finally made a decision...

Anyways.

Things I Want To Do With Him:
-Go ice skating, push him down.
-Go to Bellevue Square Mall, make him buy me ONLY Godiva chocolate.
-Go to a rocky beach, put a crab down in his hood.

Gniteeeeeeee. Let the stars shine brgiht tonight.

Futuristic Jobs.

1. Family Practictioner.
2. Pediatrician.
3. Physician's Assistant.
4. Biomedical Engineer.
5. Head Business Corporate Owner.
6. Musician/Teacher. (It's a tie!)

My father and I are looking up jobs and all kinds of stuff that I could do when I'm older. I took the career cruising test and here are my results.

1. Principal.
2. Martial Arts Instructor.
3. Podiatrist.
4. Pediatrician.*
5. Special Education Teacher.
6. Physical Therapy Assistant.
7. Prosthetist/Orthotist.
8. Child and Youth Worker.*
9. Family Practicioner.*
10. Mental Health Nurse.*

It seems so far... The life ahead of me. Gahz. I get scared thinking about it. Whatever God has in store for me, I will follow.

Today's Summary:
I finally went to a full day of school not including jazz band, and I felt super cranky the first half of the day because I only got like 5-6 hours of sleep last night. [Got home at 1am back from watching AVATAR, then stayed up until 2am to study math] Being back at school after like 4 days of missed school felt super weird. It was hard enough adjusting to not going to school, then finally when I'm used to it, got to go back to school. Then the break starts on Wednesday, gahhhhhhz. Haha. But it was nice seeing everyone's faces, getting my assisnments, and greeting the teachers. I was super stressing for Coble's test but fortunately she gave me mercy and said I could take it tomorrow. Reed wasn't here so another fortunate thing that I get to study more for the Ch.4 Test tomorrow! WOOT WOOT!
Fisher- PLAYED MONOPOLY!
Drake- Watched a movie!
Transier- Had a guest speaker. He talked to us about college and future jobs. He lent us all a PDA with a pen and we took some personality tests to see who we are. Apparently, I'm an artist; an innovator, thinker, someone who creates ideas, and has a wild imagination to send all sorts of messages to others and show feeling. Sort of sounds like me and doesn't. Or does it sound like me? Haha.
After school went to Joanna's with Sandisan and did MATH! I almost gave up and started tearing up because I didn't get it. But the girls told me to just take a breather, skip it, get over it, then move on. And it worked. Haha. Went home around 3:30, cleaned the kitchen, ate chocolate, practiced piano&organ, and waited for student to come at 5pm. No one was home until like 5 haha. Now I am relaxing on my couch waiting for dinner to be ready.

Life is finally back to normal. :D

Tomorrow.

I will wake up!
I will do some pushups to get the blood flowing!
I will open my eyes and force a smile!
I will eat breakfast that my Mum made!
I will practice my organ!
I will pray!
I will leave at 7:40 a.m.!
I will arrive and greet the chapel!
I will change into my uniform!
I will pray!
I will prosper!
I will reassure myself with the talent, skill, and faith that God has given me!

AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHS!
Not nervous, just alittle scared and ready to overcome what I've been fighting.
Everything will be different after this weekend, or the same.
I will pray.

Freaking Riztarded.

Unbelievable. We pulled in the parking lot, and they pressed the button which clicked the camera which flashed.

If only, if only.
If only I wasn't sick today and went to school.
If only I took better care of my body and myself in general before worrying about everyone else's sakes.
If only I woke up earlier and called Emerson earlier.
If only the 10 o clock block wasn't my phone and I would've gotten Jayson's text msg.
If only my dad didn't brush his teeth, change his clothes, check if the house if secure, saved his time without yelling at me for about 5 minutes on how I'm rushing him and am irresponsible for not having anyone remind me earlier.
If only I wasn't me.

Light.

Let me pass through the gates.
Into the the light I stray.
First, let me find my way.
Everything's dark.

Cookies'n'Cream!<:]

I need to relax more... I'm always having the want to cry or hide in a hole. Today I broke down and vented to Jayson D.C.... I didn't mean to, but just at that moment in front of him, I couldn't help it. I need to do soemthing to help myself... I don't care about anything that ahs to do with me. I don't care about the well being of my body or the levels of tiredness, sickness, or illness that affects my body. Lately, I've been getting these chest pains that last 3-4 hours for the past 4 days. Today during 5th period Drake's English class I went to the front of the room to get a highlighter and then my head started throbbing. I gripped the counter next to the bin of highlighters. I thought the throbbing was gone a few seconds later but before I know it I took a deep breath in and AUGHS! The right side of my chest was constricting and I couldn't breath. I slid downwards on the counter and everyone started looking at me. Drake let me run to the bathroom where I had to catch my breath. Sighs. THat lasted for 3 1/2 hours. Sighs. You'd think that I couldn't go through with 3 1/2 hours but it only hurts the moment in the first hour. For the rest of the day I tried my hardest not stress myself out or do anything rigorous. When I got to the carousel around 5:30, I felt much better. But then my Mom had to call me and ruin it all. She was yelling at me that I shouldn't have came to the carousel and should've stayed home. Her exact words, "Your main priority right now should be to get better so you'll be healthy for playing at the Children's Thanksgiving, marching the Adult Processional, and just taking care of your own body. You never take care of yourself because you're too busy running around worrying about other people's problems and being there for others. People don't even care that they stress you out so what's your problem? What makes you think you could go to the carousel when you're sick and etc, etc..." And on she went from there. Sighs. It's whatever. So what if I'm sick? I'm at the carousel to be there as President. If I hate it when people don't show up for what they said they wuold be there for or whatever, what kind of example would I be if I don't show up myself? It's time to chill. I'm going to watch anime, eat chocolate, then eat the Portobella Mushroom pizza that Mum made. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

People who made my day:
Travis Tran, Joanna Wu, and Mr. Wade Barringer. Thank you.

FAC.

How did I become President?

I literally am in love with Filipino American Club. It's my top priority in school besides my studies. The fact that we are not only promoting ourselves throughout our school but through the whole of Kent warms my heart. I can't believe it. With the help of God, Mr. Emerson, and my FAC officers, I don't think we would make it this far. I want to do so much more with us.

Goals:
-Spread to other schools. (Create Filipino Clubs over there!)
-Clean a river instead of a park.
-Provide provisions for hobos or poor kind people in Seattle.
-Find an orphanage and write letters to them from our very own clubmembers.
-etc.

This year helps me see that next year will be auspicious (promising well for the future. I need to expand more on my vocabulary haha. The end of 2009 is coming to a close fast. I got to start thinking of what my goals for 2010 wll be. AUGHS! Haha.

COME ON OUT TO THE CAROUSEL IN DOWNTOWN KENT THIS FRIDAY TO SUPPORT KM'S FAC!
Mr. Barringer, Principal of KM will be chaperoning from 4-6pm. We have Santa to help pass out candy canes and greet the kids from 4-6 also. Then hopefully if the librarian emails me back will be there also to give story time. Please and thank you!

The Holidays.

THE INTERNET DEFINITION OF THANKGIVING;
There are many myths and misconceptions surrounding the people responsible for the American Thanksgiving tradition. Contrary to popular opinion, the Pilgrims didn't wear buckles on their shoes or hats. They weren't teetotalers, either. They smoked tobacco and drank beer. And, most importantly, their first harvest festival and subsequent "thanksgivings" weren't held to thank the local natives for saving their lives.
Do you know there are public schools in America today actually teaching that? Some textbooks, in their discomfort with open discussions of Christianity, say as much. I dare suggest most parents today know little more about this history than their children.
Yet, there is no way to divorce the spiritual from the celebration of Thanksgiving – at least not the way the Pilgrims envisioned it, a tradition dating back to the ancient Hebrews and their feasts of Succoth and Passover.
The Pilgrims came to America for one reason – to form a separate community in which they could worship God as they saw fit. They had fled England because King James I was persecuting those who did not recognize the Church of England's absolute civil and spiritual authority.
But it wasn't just an economic system that allowed the Pilgrims to prosper. It was their devotion to God and His laws. And that's what Thanksgiving is really all about. The Pilgrims recognized that everything we have is a gift from God – even our sorrows. Their Thanksgiving tradition was established to honor God and thank Him for His blessings and His grace.
Today we continue that tradition in my home – and I hope in yours. God bless you, God bless America, and Happy Thanksgiving.

MY DEFINITION OF THANKGIVING.
Thanksgiving is a holiday to give thanks for what the Pilgrims realized which is that everything we have a is a gift from God, even our sorrows. This holiday is to celebrate our realization of the many people who are around us and love us.


What I'm doing for my Thanksgiving as of now is sitting in the basement watching my kuyas and Dale play 13 on a Poker Table while I'm on my laptop blogging. Haha. They think I've been a quiet nerd this whole entire time hahahahaha. I thought this trip might be a tiny bit of a drag because they've been making fun of me lately, but they're lucky I don't take jokes so seriously. I told kuya Von to hush up and he got the rest of the guys to stop. I allowed them the opportunity though to watch the ChocolateRain video only ONCE! Hahahaha.
Patrick taught me to break dance alittle bit haha. He tried to show me the 6-step. I did some math homework earlier until Geoffrey and Von started throwing pillows at me to close my mathbook and notes to watch some Cantonese film with them on the other laptop. Kuya Jordan and I played BattleShip where Mikey helped kuya! CHEATER! Grawrgh. So far on the first day of this three day trip, I've had fun. I love these loserzzzzzzzz. Aha.

But I am really missing my peeps back home. Bwaha, corny. Wowzas. I'm glad though that I'm with my family in a house with other families whose company I enjoy. HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

Thoughts of the Past Couple of Days.

Friday Morning- Woke up feeling unaccomplished, excited, drained, and anxious.
Saturday Morning- Woke up after a sleep of EIGHT hours! WHOO!
Sunday Morning- Woke up with a headache, but push for the thrill of the day.
This Morning- Woke up with a changed heart, and ready to be reconnect with my old habits.

Everyone has their own life. We are all caught in motion. Nothing's ever really still or frozen unless it's created that way. We all only have one life, so my advice; use it, live, enjoy it. Living by a plan or doing the same monotonous thing isn't so fun, dba? Take advantage of the chances or opportunities given to you. No one is perfect anyways. It's our imperfections that make us great.
It's different though if you were raised to live by a set of rules. If you had to live bya set of rule, try to still live your life. Go around those boundaries in a way where you're not breaking anything. Find exceptions and loopholes. You don't have to risk breaking rules to have fun. Just plain be happy and stay alive!! Feel the adrenaline and motion and movement. Do something unexpecting and crazy.

You only get this day once. And tomorrow. And oh, I think you spent yesterday. Bwahahahaha.
Carpe diem, my friend.

Filipino American Club.

I could that as of today I really saw my club's strengths. I'm so proud of them that I just want to buy all of them candy and desserts haha. Today we had a productive practice led by my stressful love, dear Alison, and then tickets led by me, and just us all working together in ways we mysteriously don't really know. I'm way up for the upcoming Carousel event. We've been planning this thing for about 2 1/2 months now. Tickets be on sell starting on Monday. WOWZAS! This is realy going to happen. I can't believe it. I never thought that the club would reach this high enough potential.

Although I'm very proud and probably could brag for the first time in my life that the club is better than YOURS, haha, we could still do better. Ally, Sandra, Jayson, and I could tell who are the active members. We're building it up and I just can't wait for the rest of the year.

For the carousel, we're reading to kids, dancing the Tinikling, operating the carousel, having a great time, helping out Santa, helping out Rainbow Girls and KW National Honors Society, and just making memories. I'm so proud of the club.
Always reach for your dreams. Never let yourself look down. :D

GO TO MORFORD FAMILY CAROUSEL, DOWNTOWN KENT! Opening Day; November 27th, Friday. Woot woot!

Deposittttttttt.

Dude, I feel so great that I was able to deposit money in the bank today. After school, when I finished my project for Transier's, Dad let me go to the bank. Sandra went with my inside and I felt so proud to deposit 80 dollars. Haha. I know that's not that much or it might sound a lot but at least it was something. I need to start saving money up. Mum says I got to buy my own car and that's where all this money is heading. Haha. AUGHS!

Right now as I'm waiting for one of my piano students to show up, I'm thinking why did I take this job of teaching piano? I mean it has it's ups and many downs.
Downs: Less time, packed schedule, finding all kinds of curriculum to teach, stress of planning recitals, and no passion for the money.
Ups: Passion of teaching, brightening the child's mind, growing their creativity levels, the sound of music, hopefully they follow their dream in music which I messed up my dream.

Haha well there's that. I'm not sure if piano teacher's going to be my only job for high school because that's what I'm thinking. I've only had one recital but the recital paid off so much work of teaching the kids.
Next Recital; December 12th, 2009th; Fine.

EXCITED.


I wish it was this formal. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Nice Start, Horrible End.

Great Start:
Today was the ALPSA sponsered 2009 Student Summit on Cultivating Success; Being a leader in a changing world. I woke up at 6:50 to Ally's text msg and got ready and left with Sandisan to the school. Our bus left at 7:30 and we were on our way to UW. It was a really great program. We had breakfast, a kick off sesion, then 3 workshops, lunch, and finally a career fair. I learned a lot of beneficial things, but also some useless material. The whole summit was really fun and interesting. It was a creative learning experience. TU3 had our reuniting day and it was a-we-so-me. Haha. I missed Him all day, but it's okie. Ahhhahahahahaha. But anyways, TU3 took pics with each other and others. Fisher and Andrew are pretty tight haha. Took a nap on the bus ride home around 3:10ish. David took the three of us home. Watched friends and ate Mum's Shepherd's Pie. Went to gym w/Sandisan, then went to Choir Practice. Met Mama B's new guy! He looks cute and sweet, finally a keeper haha. Went home to fold 2 1/2 baskets of clothes that I washed and talked to Giemgiem while I was folding. Awh, I've missed her so much!
I called ChocolateRain after clothes and we talked for like 20 minutes until I practiced my Organ for half an hour like Mum asked me too.

Horrible End:
I call ChocolateRain back, dad comes in 3 minutes later and goes "Where's the phone?" I go "Right here". He takes it. "Dad, it's 10 o clock. And I'm getting off around 11 anyways like Mum asked" "Just give it, all you do is talk on the phone all day and night" I gave it to him. I started bubbling inside. They said that I could keep my phone as long as I have good grades. They always randomly take it. Then I have the stupid freaking 10 o clock block anyways where I can't call or text anyone. What more do they want? I barely use the freaking regular labtop to do what other kids do like stupid Myspace and average Facebook. They don't see me playing gay video games or screwing around doing nothing useless. They always tell me I waste my time on stupid things and dedicating my time to stupid people. It's like they compliment me but in a terrible way.
"Nikki, you're such a nice person but you're not smart for letting others take advantage fo you"
"Nikki, why are you doing a favor for someone who hasn't even talked to you in several days? You're such a giving selfless brat."
"Nikki, you'd rather help everyone else then give a fudge about yourself."

You know what? I'm tired of people like them telline me who I am. Because obviously, I know what my faults and merits are. For goodness sakes, I didn't become some independent weird unique freak for nothing. I sick of not only my parents, but other people whether they're my close friends or not even a friend, judging me and telling me things that I already know but saying it in their voice. I'm sick of always saying yes and doing waht I'm told. I thoguht being dedicated, considerate, and giving were good traits? Apparently they're not if this is the way I feel.
My stupid boyfriend is always being so sweet and kind and as trying his hardest to help me when others would never. Goodness, I told him to stop. Why? Because, I don't ask for help or favors. I asked why does he have to be like this? He said "Because it's the way you're suppose to be treated. Stop being so stubborn, geez." I'm fine doing things on my own, well, it depends on what I guess. I'm the one everyone apparently depends on. Because I keep my promises and do waht I'm told and help as much as I can. If someone calls crying or needs help with a problem, I'm there. But if I'm the one crying or having the problem, never could I say a word.
This is all due to my abnormal stubborn weird self. Sighs. If only, if only. I love how people know me, that this is just they way I am whether or not I like, and still piss me off.

Note to You:
I live under your roof. I tell you everything. I work so you don't have to pay. I get good grades so you only have one child to worry about. I never lie to you so you can trust me. I do my best in everything so you'll never see my worst.
I love you so you'll love me.
Gnite, Mum&&Dad. I'll pray tonight to lessen my anger and find ways to make it up to you.

One Week!

Today is Thurday; one more week until Sophomore Quarter 1 ends. Holy snapz! I'm already getting nervous and fidgety. I got all A's, but one stupid C in stupid math. Dude, I've been getting my stuff done and studying like crazy. My schedule is booked but I still make is possible to put in some relaxation time and nap time. Yayyyyy. Today was an alright day with school, math test, new history project, and chemistry presentation. Dangitz, got a Coble's test tomorrow. I love TypeWriter and BombShell. Dang, these two. Haha. Never will forget them in my life.

Church was pretty fun, too. During worship service the lesson was talking about beliefs on God and Jesus. I love it when Ka Pastor talks; his mouth goes sideways and his eyebrows barely raise. After worship service we had practice and I was way too nervous. My leg was shaking on the bass pedal and my hands were already sweating. That caused me to messs up, but I shouldn't blame that because that just shows that I could've practiced more and done better. I need more confidence and patience with myself.

School's crazy. Church is breath taking. Home is like a prison cell, but I have good company. My parents are finally realizing what's going on with my brother. I hope they can help him... He won't let me help him. He's just as stubborn as I am. Sighs. Time to do math hw. I heard everyone's starting to blog again. {:O Haha.

Thank you for trying, my friend.

Things To Remember.

1. Everyone goes at their own pace.
2. Love can come at any age.
3. Parents know what's best.
4. Purpose of School: To gain an education and prepare for the future.
5. To function correctly is to breathe.
6. Family time should be spent appreciatively and with precious care.
7. Priorities should be even in your heart, but listed in your head.
8. Stand up for what you believe in.
9. Always do what you think is right.
10. Treat people the way you want to be treated.
11. If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all.
12. Learn to take care of yourself before taking care of others.
13. Always brush your teeth before bed, and leaving the house.
14. Always be yourself.
15. Love yourself.
16. GOD is watching, please never hide from him.
17. Shed a tear, save a prayer.
18. Shine your teeth, when the whole world seems dark.
19. Spread love where there is hate.
20. Follow your dreams.

Postings.

I just overlooked all my entries this year compared to last school year, and last year I was more in depth with what I was going through and what was in "my mind". Why is that? DANG, last year I was hecka stressed out. I still am right now, but I now know how to handle it other than the last years of my life. I've started about 4 entries in the last 2 days but wasn't able to finish them or have the courage to post them up. Now, I will express what's in my head.

Last Thursday, my Mother and I got in an argument in whether I should be in IB or do Running Start. I have nothing against any of the two programs, but I really don't know what to pick. IB provides a huge beneficial learning experience for me and is basically Tech Academy but on paper. Right now I have one IB class which is Pre-Calc/Trig, which is apparently a college class says Mrs.Reed. I had a C at the time of last thursday and my mother was going BALLISTIC. Being all "You really think you could handle a 6-period IB diploma crap when you can barely B+ your way through ONE IB class? How do you expect to succeed in life? How do you expect to succeed in anything when you overwhelm yourself with too many priorities and meet too much people? and etc."
I see where she's going at but goodness, making me feel bad about myself isn't going to help me, it's going to make me feel like I"m a complete failure. Geez, encourage me instead. I really want to get the IB diploma. Why?
-It's challenging.
-Highest level of education by far in HS.
-Prove to my parents that I could do this.
-Won't have to drive and have car insurance and blahz.
-Be able to still have a HS experience.

My Mum and Dad planned out everything for me already though.
Maria Nikki Molina will get her Associates Degree in 2 year running start for nurse at Highline CC. Then after graduating will be working as a nurse somewhere while attending school at UW for three years to be a physician's assistant.

Wow. All I can say. Like I had a say in it. How can they tell me for the first 15 years of my life that I have to be the best, that I have to reach for the top, put my 150% in everything, never give up, don't quit if my life depended on it! And then sink me down to lower standards. No offense to everyone. It makes me feel like I need to lower my standards on everything that I"m doing and it pisses me off. Why do they think they run my life when they don't even have an idea of who what I do? That's why I inform them on everything that I'm doing, who I'm talking to, where I'm going. I love knowing that my parents know. I think that a lot of kids come to an age where they wish for their parents' attention more than from anyone else. I am at that point because I'm growing up. I can't even list the many differences in myself than myself from last year. I'm still the same person, like same personality, same face, but the way I see life and the things I see are different still changing.

There are a lot of things that I want do in my life. I promise to continue to strive to be the best, and do my best.

ACT

Apply.
Change.
Train.

i.e. There were about twelve golf balls in this container. The man asked "Is it full?", the student said "Yes". The man replied "Wrong". He added gravel into the container adding to the golfballs and asked "Do you think this is full?", the student said "Yes". "Wrong again", said the man. Then the man added sand and asked "How about now?" and the student said "No?". "Good, you're learning" said the man. The man lastly poured his coffee into it and put the lid on the container. "Now it is full", he finalized. This is an example of our lives. The golfballs represent the values we have in life like our family, friends, happiness, etc. The gravel represents what's important to us like our job, school, money, etc. The sand represents what's unimportant such as using time efficiently, going out when you could be studying, going on Myspace when you could be looking up your science article, etc. Then the coffee represents that there is always time to buy a coffee for a friend and just sit down. What could you learn from that?

How can we succeed in life? Is it talent? NO! Talent is less important as you go through life. In order to make dreams happen you need to give yourself a vision. A vision allows you to see what it is you want clearly in your mind. When you create a vision, you make goals. Goals are the steps that it takes to make your vision become reality, once your vision is clear in life, then you have achieved your goal. Many people don't set goals. This means that they're scared to fail. This means that they want to play it safe, avoid rejection, steer clear of utter humiliation. But in life, there are plenty of setbacks and going over. In over to do this you need COURAGE; stnading up to get heard. Imagine your vision, your dream, waht you want in life. Imagine the feeling of what it'll be like when you accomplish your goal or dream. Studies show that 97% of those who write down their goals, they achieve it.
i.e. Michael Phelps. He's one of the most amazing athletes of history, he probably IS. They interviewed after he won his most recent gold medal and an interviewer had to ask how'd he set his goals up to be where he was. Phelps said he wrote them down so they stuck in his head. The interviewer asked how many of these goals did he achieve. Phelps said all of them. All of them, people. ALL OF THEM.

Everything we do in our life, is due to our habits. Humans are creatures of habits. If we want to change our habits, we have to COMMIT to changing something everyday. If you want to be something, be important, get to the high top, achieve your goal, you've got to do something to change or commit. We must adjust to these ways if we could. This paragraph makes kinda so no sense, but probably only to me haha. You need a sense of purpose in order to change something.

The single most important ability that a person needs to have in order to do good in life is responsibility. If you aren't responsible, how can you expect to get the job done, be picked to plan the wedding, make the most outstanding dinner, or just finish anything? Nothing's going to changed until you are able to just stand up and say "You can count on me!". Take responsiblity for yourself. People are weak and shouldn't be blaming others around them. No disciplin, no dilligence. These weak people want things fast and easy. We focus on the weak and our weaknesses. When we should be looking at our strenghs.
We all go through many obstacles we need to overcome. If you really want to know, in order to do good, it ALL depends on oru self talk. Most people only say personal puke like "I'm so tired, I'm so bad at that, no way I could do this, today's going to suck, etc". These are things that will SINK them. LIFE ISN'T EASY. Have you ever entered a room and you ask someone how are you? And they say "I'm tired, I wish I coudl go to sleep and not be here. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You get the point.
ACT.

Stand Up by Ludacris.

Guessing what could be going through your head.
Eventually you'll tell me.
Till then, I have only scattered nonsensical pieces of advice.

Unknown and sheltered from the horros of this world.
Please, stop looking at the horrors of yourself.


Let me help you. Let me help you see. No one knows what I'm talking about except you, dear bud. Pray to God, the only thing left to do is pray. How can He help you if you do not ask for help? Or are you too stubborn to ask, child? You have so many people around you who love you and we are listening. But you won't let us help you. How could we help you, if you can't help yourself? Keep your head up high, you're stronger than this, and this may be just a phase. I believe in you, even if you may think I don't...
Wwhap the o witt wa.

When I look up.

What do I see in myself? Looking into the mirror, I see a face. A face with pores, features, and glimmer from the eyes that portray a young girl who's experienced a lot of things in life. The weight of the world just pushes on my shoulder. Balancing this blue/green planet.

NOOO! It's pushed me down. On my knees with my head down. I look up, and see light.
The world's evils, depressions, stress, and conflicts have brought me down on my knees. I bring my hands together, look up, and have noticed a most particular thing.
I have brought upon myself the world on my shoulders, but have pushed myself to the perfect position to pray.

6th Period Boredom.

Hmm, decided that for this period I would just relax because all of us in the class are basicaly talking and screwing around on the computer haha. I started on my introduction video so I don't really have much to do right now. Today is the second Monday of the school year and I'm a bit sick. Gahz, freaking nausea(sp?), sore throat, and cough. Mum insisted on my sleeping in and staying home for the day but I have a 200-pt Jap Test tmrw, so I had to be here for the review of the test. COBLE'S SCARY!! HAHAHAHAHA.

Every year kids fill the hallways and pass by the same people for at least four years. One of my first thoughts on the first day of Freshmen Year was "HOLY CRAP, there's a lot of kids here!" Haha. So I tried my best since then to know as many kids in this school that come by way.

Yesterday I had a very event filled day, but realllllyyyyyyy tiring. In the morning, I woke up at 6:30am for church. Went home at 2pm, and taught two kids. I fell straight asleep afterwards and woke up around 4:30. Went straight to Kuya Von and Jordan's house to play tennis, kickball, then went back to their house to watch an EPIC movie. Called Old Boys. Holy snap, it was amazing. It was like almost better than Battle Royale. Old Boys was KOREAN FILM, and BR was Japanese film. Dude, freaking tight. Those guys got good taste in movies to watch. Old Boys was confusing though. we got home around 9:30 and I went striaght to shower and then homework. Felt nauseous and super sick. Mum persuaded me to sleep in. I had a weird dream about upper classmen from school. Haha. Anyways, so I've been babbling.

Gonna get ready to pack up. Can't wait to get home. Going to watch either Friends or Pride&Prejudice. :] WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

11 Ways That I Can Relax.

1. Watching Friends.
2. Getting a pedicure.
3. Solving Sudoku.
4. Playing intense clasical music.
5. Running.
6. Talking to a friend.
7. Screaming nonsense.
8. Making faces and weird motions.
9. Reading a book.
10. Writing it all out.
11. Sitting in a tree looking out at a view.

What A Day.

Tmrw is the official first Monday of school. And you know what? I'm already just freakishly tired of school already haha. I'm just catching up on my homeowkr right now. For the KSD, we've only had 4 days of school, and I've already been techinically absent for 2 days. GAHZ! Hahahahahahaha. It's spirit week and hopefully that'll lighten up my mood. Going to try out for the play tomorrow. :] Had to quit soccer on Friday for various reasons. =[

Watched Love Happens with Als, Kuya Mark&Angelo, Analiz, and Jules. Good movie. Can't believe it was shot in Seattle. Ahaha. I cried dude, no joke. Aughs! I'm a sap ahaha. I'm still trying to figure out how the title relates with the story. "Love Happens". Interesting title. I wonder if love is just an emotion that does "just happen". I should know, but I kinda don't. I'm starting to see things all in a new perspective now that I'm back on track. I wonder what Sophomore Year will give me. ILY Sandisan, Deveon, Jason, Patrek, and of course Als. Ahaha. Working on Reeds' IB pre-calc stuff, and starting my Diagnostic Essay right afterwards. Why am I wasting my time on Blogger again? Haha. It's all good. Today was a good hair day for me, BWAHA.

I wonder what's going through your mind, my friend.=P

-M.N.M.

WOOT WOOT!

Sophomore year. Mahn, way better than I expected. I wish I had more classes with people I know. I do have Darrion for like four periods, and Sandra for 3 periods, but gosh dangitz! Ahaha. Second day of school today; pretty amazing. All I can say. Haha. Yesterday I was so tired. Today I'm even more tired. I started soccer today and I never knew it would make me feel this good inside. Why am I always craving to do something new and exciting? My mum says I'll try out anything and will be happy with it no matter how hard, easy, boring, or fun it is. Bwahaha. I love my family, friends, and am pretty much content. =D
I'll be blogging a lot more now that I got my comp back.
TECHNOLOGY ACADEMY ROXXXXXXXXX.

Someone's been on my mind lately. Someone I think of shortly in long periods of time. :]

-MNM.

M.I.A. in Blogger.

What's old? What's new? What's there? What's here?

Finally I can be on the computer for a stable time. Ahaha. Summer of '09, interesting days. Church for the whole full month of July, stuck on Filipino Club and blah. HOLD UP! HOLD UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! All I ever type about on blogger or whatevs is always about what I'm all worked up about. Geezies. I guess what real question is...


What's on my mind? What are my worries? What am I feeling right now?

1.Right now I'm pretty pissed. How can he think we can be friends after everything's that happened? It's not that I have feelings for him, but he's literally one of my bestie guys, and it always feels like I'm the one who cares for the friendship more. I guess it's just gay between us cause he's an ex and all, but still! I've never been this weird with an ex, so why should he be different.

2.Freaking dangit, she pisses me off. She's so annoying but she's my best friend. I love her but the smallest things annoy me. How can she part of my life, if I'm barely in hers? What the hail? Motherheifer, and she lives up the street.

3. ---------------------

Nevermind. Way too personal stuff that only AB can know. Gahz. Wow, I take friendships way too seriously. Haha. SCHOOL NEEDS TO START NOW!

So freaking hot.

OH MY GOSH.
Why is it that I feel like I've done nothing all summer but work, work, work, go here, go there, go here, go there? Hmm, maybe becuase that's all I've done. Freaking A. I will kill someone. It is so hott. I'm relieved that the INC Day prep is done, but now I have nothing to do.

You like her, You don't like her.

It's like picking flower petals off a flower. Can you believe we used to do that as kids? I remember I used to determine whether I actually liked the guy from doing that. Today it's more of a feelings crap and all, jkjk! Haha.

She really pisses me off. You know, I love her and all, but sometimes she can really get on my nerves. She's blood and way more mature than me, but that doesn't give her the right to own my life. Well, she is my Mother. But I mean like, do parents make your decisions or help YOU make good decisions? Or do they run your life, or help you live a good life?

Mum knows best, right? I think. I LOVE HER. I SERIOUSLY DO. But just, goodness, when she stops me from doing things I want to do, it makes me really frustrated. I'm not trying to sound like a brat like I want it my way, this way, that way, or being some little stubborn daughter, just the things that I want to do is for the best of someone else. I don't ask of anything really unless it's totally irrevelant towards me but still puts me in control.
i.e. I asked her if I could go on trips to other universities or colleges with the Filipino Board in the state to check out the other Filipino communities, associations, and clubs. She totally freaked. I think it's 'cause I used Gonzaga University as an example. Right now, she's against me being friends with anyone in Spokane, wthail? Anyways, back on topic. She went BALLISTIC! She started saying "What's the point of that? There's no direct facts that show you need to be there? There's email, phone, text, some other kind of communications, you don't have to fly there. Nikki, I don't want you making anymore mistakes like you made in Freshmen year. The prize is straight A's, Filipino Club is just some extracurricular activity, and blahblahblahblahblahblah."

Honestly, Filipino Club is the first time I've been able to make a difference and do what I want to do for a change. The kids of this club are very important to me. I can't handle people messing up my vision that I want to put to action. I have probably only wanted one thing; to make a difference. I want to be remembered as a girl who made change, and good change for that fact. But honestly, I can't do that because there are too many obstacles in the way. I have way too many other priorities. Mum asked me what my goals are because I'm suppose to follow them. I replied with a simple answer of "getting into a good school", and she asked me to repeat myself. All I want to do is be accepted to a school who wants me because of who I am and what I've done. Not because of the grades, or my background, or ethnicity, or scores, but because of the achievements, success, blood, sweat, and most definitely stress I've been through in order to do what I've done in my life.
It is true that this is a lot to think of at the point of being a sophomore and 15 years old, but you know what? Go ahead and underestimate me because in the end I will show you and you will see. Sighs. I'm getting out of hand. I hate the cycle of the month. My mind's been restless with thought, plans, and blahz.

To You: I miss you, lovee. Stop looking and being shy, be a man and take your word that we would not be awkward towards each other. Gnite, and know that I love you.

Always to You, po: Thank you for raising me, for blessing me, for giving me this life, for showing me the path, and sculpting me into who I am.

Top Ten Ways To Get Into An Ivy League School

1. Be in the Top Ten Percent of Your Class
While graduating valedictorian or salutatorian is certainly a worthy goal, just graduating in the top ten percent of your class is enough. Admissions officers often prefer a passionate student who got the occassional ‘B’ over a valedictorian who spends much of his or her time focused on grades and studying for the SAT and doing little else during their high school days.

2. Take a Challenging Course Load
If possible, look into taking Advanced Placement and/or Honors classes offered by your school and take as many as you can reasonably handle. Many schools also offer “dual programs,” which allow you to take classes from the local colleges for high school credit. The key here, however, is to not go overboard. Only take on what you can handle without burning out. You want to make sure you have time for other activities outside school.

3. Volunteer
Contributing to your community and to the well-being of others is always looked upon favorably. There are a myriad of ways to volunteer according to your own unique talents, so don’t feel constrained by the ‘usual’ volunteer jobs. Reading to/or tutoring kids at a children’s hospital, helping at an animal rescue center, assisting at an elder-care center are only a few ways you can volunteer. Plus, these experiences will also help you see the bigger picture in life and bring a level of maturity to your decisions.

4. Have Meaningful Extracurriculars
Admissions committees don’t like seeing a ‘laundry list’ of activities you’ve participated in. They’d rather see you participate in one or two activities for a longer period of time. Reaching a high level of leadership or achievement in one or two activities (sports also count!) makes you more appealing than doing six or seven activities.

5. Prepare for Standardized Tests
When preparing to take the SAT, it is wise to take practice tests. This is both to familiarize yourself with the format of the test, and also to pinpoint your weaknesses in order to optimize your score on the real thing. Keep in mind, however, that many applicants with perfect SAT scores are rejected from the Ivy League every year as well, simply because they don’t stand out in any other way.

6. Apply Early Decision
By applying to a binding Early Decision program, you show great interest in that school, which is taken into account. Understand, however, that not all of the Ivy League schools have Early Decision programs: Harvard and Princeton did away with their’s last year.

7. Get to Know Your Teachers
Constructively participate in class and always show respect to your instructors. Turn in your work on time, give it your best effort, and let your teachers know you appreciate them. Your teacher needs to see that you are a responsible, good person so he or she will write you a wonderful recommendation.

8. Fill Up Your Summers
Whether you decide to pick up more hours at work, volunteer in another country, or get a great internship, top colleges like to see that you haven’t just spent your summer goofing off and letting the days ’slide on by.’

9. Be a Meaningful Individual
These days, admissions committees are looking for the stand-outs; students who are not just well-rounded but also have something to offer to the school. Know who you are and effectively convey that to the school you’re applying to. Let them know what you bring to the table and how your experience bring something meaningful to the school.

10. Have fun!
Most importantly, have fun. Top colleges don’t want kids who’ve lived their entire lives just to impress a future admissions committee. By following your passions, keeping busy, and working your hardest, you’ll become a stellar college applicant and a great human being.

Reference from:
http://myusearchblog.com/top-ten-recommendations-for-getting-into-the-ivy-league

JP.

It is your birthday. And you are right next to me.

You are in denial for a lot of things. Including being the "boss" of our past relationship. You are now 17 years old. I have 3 wishes for you.

I wish that...

-You will stop thinking low of yourself and start to believe in who you are.
-In the world you will do great things and will be super happy in all that you do.
-The woman of your dreams would find you sooner so that you can stop being lonely and be a little dork. Haha.

I love you, dude. You're funny. I refuse to do your dare. :]
Have a happy life, and I'll talk to you in a couple of minutes.

-Man-eating Lion.

I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. -Spongebob Squarepants.

Things in store for Year 10-11:

-1st Jazz Band Concert where I can perform all the songs.
-KM Tech Academy Student.
-Key Club Member.
-National Honors Society Member.
-Sophomore Secretary.
-Filipino Club President.
-Auditions for the next KM play.
-Gymnastics Season.
-Track Season.
-Junior Year elections.
-That 4.0 I've been trying for.
-Future things to think of.

Thank you God, for everything. Thank you. If it wasn't for you... Where would I be? Since I was baptized and forgiven, I've prayed every night since and never have I forgotten to pray at night. My family have started "family prayers", I love it.
With my family and friends support, they have encouraged me in everything I do. Even when I thought of giving up or even epic failure bwahaha. THANK YOU!

ARIGATOGOZAIMSHITA.
SALAMAT PO.
THANK YOU.

Why do we do our best?

Today before karate started, my brother and I were sitting on the carpet waiting for the Junior Belts section to finish. They were a group of kids ranging from 5-12 years old. Sensei Jesse asked all of them to settle down and answer the question for the day; Why do we do our best?

The kids started raising their hands. Their faces looked so eager to answer. A kid up front in the left said "So we could motivate ourselves to be the best!" A girl on the right of him said "So we could better ourself." A kid in the back right said "For motivation". There were many eager hands that were given a chance to answer. The last suggestion striked me as ironic for the day... He said "If we do our best, we'll be perfect."

After all the hands were put down, Sensei Jesse gave his words of wisdom. "To do our best is to give our all. Motivation brings us to do our best, which is correct because we'd like to better ourselves. When we says we're going to try our best, it really means I'm going to do well. You may do horrible, but you did well, didn't you? You may have been exceptional, but you really did well. Whenever you failed, say you did well. Whenever you succeed, you did your best. But never ever do you do your worse because you tried at some point. You never gave up. Am I right? Alright. Sayonara." And the kids bowed.

W.W.H.A.P. T.H.E. O. W.I.T. W.W.A.

Alright.
Okay.
Uh huh.
Mmhm hmm.
Yeshhh.
Whatever.
Nevermind.
Gay.


KK, this post isn't going to be as calm as the rest of them have been in My Mind. It may be more of a vent, or a scream, or a let out before my brains are shot and splattered across the wall.

We have lost the names of what we gave ourselves; F6. How did we lose it? When we were young and naive, we had a leader. Well, she denies it, but she was sorta a leader. Maybe she was looked as the leader because it you ever pissed her off she would totally shunned you until you got on her knees. Today, you are still like that, dear... That's why you have lost Smiley, and Trees. You don't want to fix things with either of them but I have finally gotten you to see into your senses about Smiley... It's okay for me and Aims to fight, we're connected by birth. If I never wrote that response to her, I would never have talked to her. Today, Aims and I are okay, sorta on same ground. The difference between Aims&I relationship verses Yours&AnyOther is that Aims&I are easy to forgive and forget. ALTHOUGH YOU ON THE OTHER HAND MY LOVE, you wish for them to beg on their knees, cry, ask, ask, and ask for your forgiveness. Sighs. Some day soon you will read this. 2 out of the F6 not including me will read this.

Don't you miss us? Don't you wish that things could go back to how they used to be? Why do you have to be "I really don't want to fix this", or "It's whatever, she changed so I can't really do anything about", or "God, we broke up like not even a week ago and she's already on his a**", or "She was my best friend! How can she be talking all that s***?", or you know. This doesn't just apply to you, I know that. It applies to all of us. F6 was a friendship of unbelievable memories, treasures moments, and the highest happiness we could have ever felt. You say you miss it, us, all of it, but have you really proved it? Smiles and I used to cry about it but she doesn't want to think about you anymore because you're the one to tripped about everything. You didn't even ask her when you thought the worst of her if she was okay. I asked her! And even if she kept blocking me, refusing me, wouldn't look or talk to me, I still tried. Since then, Smiles and I are TIGHTTT.
Even with you, Adores... Whenever you were mad at me I would still be in your face asking what the heck is up. Except that one time a couple weeks ago at the Gem... Because I was shocked of taking in the information that you were mad. I was beyond shocked Adores... WAY SHOCKED. Smiles was like "Wow, why would she mad at you" I was just like "AUGHS! What happened now???" I'm too scared to ask Aims but lately things are good between her and I so HAKUNA MATATA.

You know what sucks though???=[ EL is stuck a million miles away from us and has no idea... She thinks we're still the F6. Smiles and I were talking about that on Wednesday in Lizard's room. EL may think we're all like PB&J, or what not. She probably follows our motto, too... Please, Adores... Know that I love you. But it's hard if you're refusing to hear what others have to say. Or hear the other end of the conversation. You may feel alone, but there are still those who are hear to listen, and have open arms, even if they may hate you just a tad...

We Will Hope And Promise
To Help Each
Other
Wherever In The
World We Are.

To Be or Not To Be-2.

Knowledgeable--They explore concepts, ideas and issues that have local and global significance. In so doing, they acquire in-depth knowledge and develop understanding across a broad and balanced range of disciplines.

This is the second characteristic that an IB students should possess. They should have the need to explore everything all around them locally, globally, and not only issues around your area. You develop your own knowledge and understanding an eclectic mind of everything.

Advice: Explore all the ubiquitous components dealing with simply everything.

To Be or Not To Be.

Inquirers--They develop their natural curiosity. They acquire the skills necessary to conduct inquiry and research and show independence in learning. They actively enjoy learning and this love of learning will be sustained throughout their lives.

This is one of the first components that an International Baccalaureate student should have as a characteristic. You must have a curiosity to explore the unknown and want to figure these things out. You shouldn't be motivated to learn and be taught things, you should have a want to explore the mystery. Throughout your life there will be things to figure out and take apart, problems to go through step by step coming to a result, test that will have either a good or a bad outcome. You should inquire all, and let all answers vary.

Advice: Question everything.

Freeze, shift, and turn.

_1_

Her heart was beating and wished that he would turn around, but he wasn't going to unless she did something. Heart racing, "Joshua! Come here real quick!" The moment she was waiting for... At first he didn't stop walking, but when he reached his car he turned around and shouted out "What?"
She said breathlessly "Come here for a second!" She beckoned him to her area. He laughed and started walking towards her. She decided to meet him in the middle where the house and the shadow of the cherry blossom tree covered the two of them. Her mind was spinning as she reached him. "I gotta tell you something." She looked down and played with the black wrist band.
He squinted through his black rimmed glasses and sighed. "Alright, what is it?"
It was quiet for a couple of moments as she fiddled with her wrist band, and the pockets of her jeans. She took a deep breath, looked him square in the eye which startled him causing him to take a minor step back.
"I'm sorry." He looked frozen for a moment, shifted his feet a bit, and just stared at her. She held her breath for what seemed about 1 whole minute until he spoke.
"What do you mean you're sorry?" He asked tentatively.
"I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not being the greatest girlfriend I can be. I'm sorry for not bringing myself to talk to you because I was either shy or terrified. I'm for being so much younger than you are, and I'm also sorry for saying yes, and I'm sorry for ruining your li--"
"Whoa, stop there. Mori, I don't want to hear this. What did I tell you like a year ago? Stop saying sorry. Just stop. You didn't do anything. Just ;et's not talk about this, ok? Isn't this done?" His eyebrows squeezed together the way mad angry people do when they want to blow up their head because of frustration. "Just drop it, okay? Please... We both don't need this right now. Besides, Mori you told me yourself you don't have any feelings left, remember?" She just stood there as if frozen. She nodded her head slowly. Remembering how idiotic this was, she just had to let it go and swallow her aches and pains once again. She really ruined his life, she didn't want to ruin it anymore by causing him stress or grief.
"You're right, Kuya. Aha. Sorry, weird moment right now..." She smiled a bit to act as if she meant what she was saying. "I just was being weird. Haha, probably some weird girl period thing. Ahaha."
"It's okay. Just forget it, okay?" He smiled sending a string of tingles that soared throughout her body. But she ignored them. "I'll hopefully see you at church on Thursday. See you later." He squeezed her shoulder and just smiled which plucked the strings of her aching heart. Then he turned. Turned and started walking off. She stands still as he almost reaches his car.
As she realizes what is happening unthinkably she runs. She reaches him and holds onto his wrist and as skin touches he freezes. He doesn't turn around, she doesn't say anything. Minutes of silence pass. Standing behind him, grasping his wrist, she leans forward whispers "Your personality and smile brighten my dim universe. In this one life, I can not find myself to love any other. There the sound of your voice ringing in my head, and your face pasted in my fast-pacing heart, I will never ever be able to forget you." She leans back and lets go of him. As she shifts her body the opposite direction of him, she takes a step forward and hears a slight whoosh and as she looks behind her he has turned his whole body and literally ran in front of her. His chest is heaving as if he's out of breath. She tries to read his body language or face expression. She tilts her head and makes an expression of confusion and slight discomfort. Silence fills the air around them, thundering in her ears causing her heart to speed up and her palms sticky. Thinking that he might not have a thing to stay she steps back and is about to turn when she is grabbed and pulled into a sweet embrace which human beings call a "hug".
His arms around her, a simple reflex was to do the same.
And she buried her face into his shoulders and started sobbing.

1, 2, 3, 4
Plain White T's
One, two
One, two, three, four

Give me more lovin' then I've ever had
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad
Tell me that I'm special
Even when I know I'm not

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Barely gettin' mad
I'm so glad I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy
It's as easy as one, two
One, two, three, four

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you
(I love you)
I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words
That's what I'll do
(I love you)
I love you

Give me more lovin' from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things
You never even tell your closest friends

Make me feel good when I hurt so bad
Best that I've had
I'm so glad I found you
I love bein' around you
You make it easy
It's as easy as one, two
One, two, three, four

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you
(I love you)
I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words
That's what I'll do
(I love you)
I love you
(I love you)
I love you

You make it easy
It's as easy as one, two
One, two, three, four

There's only one thing to do
Three words for you
(I love you)
I love you
There's only one way to say
Those three words
That's what I'll do
(I love you)
I love you
I love you
One, two, three, four
(I love you)
I love you
(I love you)
I love you

Pokemon.

http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/look_inside/2988209/image/146010

OH MY GOSH.

All I can say is Oh My Gosh. You know what? I'm really lucky. I really am. Why have I been complaining and all weird for the last couple of weeks? Oh yeah, PMS and period. Thank gosh it ended yesterday!!! Haha.

My birthday was amazing. It was one of the most memorable one. But I gotta say last year was better with practically 3 birthday parties, but this year all my happiness happened in one day, and ON my birthday haha.

People who made my Bday special;
-Morris.
-Alison.
-Sandra.
-Joanna.
-Richard.
-Mrs. Coble.
-All 4 tech teachers. (Esp. Mrs. Egbert!)
-Camillo.
-Matt.
-Mohammed.
-Whole 5th Period.
-My Mum.
-Zach and Sean.
-Kuyas (Mark, Angelo, Josin, Darrion).
-David.
-Audars+Castros.
-My Family.
-God.

TERMINATOR SALVATION!!! AUGHS. Gotta watch that whole series someday. Haha.
Special thanks to everyone! I love you people. Haha.

BWAHA.

Yesterday: Realization/Epiphany hit.
Today: 365th day of being _4 years old. Snapz.
Tomorrow: _5 years ago, I was born.

Yesteday I had an emotional breakdown before going to church. So much stress and incapability of handling balance. I felt not alone or lost like I usually say, but all I could say is that I felt defeated. As if it's finally just time to give up on life. Reasons being; I keep losing everyone I love who are around me, no one can completely understand me neither can I towards myself half the time, I don't think I'm making a difference to this unearthly planet at all, and just I can't seem to ever be at ease whispering "Hakuna Matata".

To be Cont. (my mother, dangit.)

Frailment.

Listen, I will hear you.
One glance at you pains my soul.
Loving you is a gift God has blessed me.
All is well, for I am here always at your bedside.

Initially you are old on the outside.
Now is the time for you to pass away time.
Ay nako, sa ma hall kita.
Never forget all the ones who are here for you, po .
Gracious and beautiful you are on in the inside.


I love you Lola Inang.

MNM_Confucious

Confused. Will be for awhile.


"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
-M. Scott Peck.

What is Friend?

A friend is someone who knows you better than anyone else-
Someone who can sense how you're feelin just by the sound of your voice, and understands what you're saying,
even when there aren't any words...
A friend is someone who takes your deepest secrets adn tucks them safely away, and believes in the dreams you keep closest to your heart.

All I can say is that "Friends don't come any better than you". You dedicated to me, my dear, and now I must do it back. You are aching, in pain, and lost at times. I'm never there anymore, but there are times when you can't stop laughing, and you feel so lucky in life with what you have that you just can't help but smile. Let me say what I need to when I know you don't expect anything anymore...

"You will always be my best friend... You know too much". -Two Teddy Bears on a Magnet.

I want you to know that I have finally opened my eyes. This isn't what I intended, I swore to you that we would never fall apart. It's like the Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade where you're impossible to find! Haha. I'm yours to keep. Hold on to your words, because talk is cheap. Remember me tonight when you're asleep. Tonight will be the night that I will fight for you, I swear it's true. Because a girl like you's impossible to find, impossible to find. Okie, now I'm just being funny hahahahaha. I'm listening to the song right now, it like came out of nowhere on this random playlist I found on Playlist.com.

This morning I woke up to the warm sun and my warm blanket sheets. My first thought was of you. It's been like that all week since I read your letter to me... I can't believe I've been that oblivious, lovee. I don't see how you can deal with me. Sighs. I can't deal with myself sometimes either, but anyways. Back on subject. I decided to clean my room, then eat. While I was eating I was flipping through the channels and came across Veggie Tales. Mahn, I've only seen like one full show of that which was the Veggie Tales Movie with Moses haha. But then it showed me an important message. Which was "A thankful heart is a happy heart. That's why we say thank you. To show we're happy to have these things and know these people in our life".

Mar, all you've done is show your gratitude for meeting me and that you care. I couldn't ask for anything. I never saw it because I was blinded with naiivity(if that be a word bwahaa=)I'm grateful to have met you. THANK YOU SO MUCH BABBBEBESSSSS!!! I remember everything we've went through. From the clock in Tobiason's, to my first time at your house on the trampoline, to the bday party with the streamers, to your first love, to all those breakdowns, to all the epiphanies we've come up with us, to the tears, to the smiles, to the luaghter, to the food I've stolen in your house, to the pink alienated headband, to everytime you rearranced your room, to the OCD thing you have with messiness, to playing for the clarinet ensemble, to seeing your beautiful face. The face I will never forget. Sighs, whoa chill out, Nikks. Haha.

I hope I can say that I know you more than most people ever will. Are you still falling easily in love, my dear? Haha. I miss you. Never will stop thinking about you or loving you, dude. :P
Not a lesbian. Haha.


p.s. I wish livejournal wasn't blocked on my comp. Grr.
p.p.s. You may think you look weird everyday, but I don't have to see you to have you know that I think your one of the most greatest sights the world can experience. I don't think I'm making sense. But I never do. But I know you know what I'm talking about hahahahaha.

Soulmates

Do you believe in soulmates? I do. I believe that in each person's life, there's exactly one person out there who is meant for them. Sometimes we find them, sometimes we don't. It depends on trust, faith, and of course patience. It's raining outside and I'm still sick. GLLLALARFLAEKRF AEF OIKJSNEF OWERJ SEKFJ. I wonder what it was that hit Romeo when he first saw Juliet? There aren't a lot of Romeos out there anymore in our time. I wish there was... But that just makes me sound more of a sap.

Only 2nd day in school and I'm packed with assignments and getting ready for the next day.

Ally's eye is half red.=[
Jaimes' is leaving on Friday.
Filipino Club candidate nominations are tomorrow.
My bday is next Friday!
I'm running for KM's 09-10 Sophomore Secretary. Ahaahahahahahahahahhahaha all I can do is laugh because things didn't turn out the way they were suppose to. No comment. Figure it out.

1. I don't like you. Ugh, you're so annoying and I try to never look in your direction, but it's whatever because you don't try to make eye contact which is a smart move.
2. I definitely don't like you. You're ugly and stupid. You were a friend, and I used to be your support. But not anymore since you held a grudge over the most insignificant thing. Get over it. Grow up, you mangy dog. Disgrace for the race of being Filipino. *spits*
3. You look like a 12-yr-old and try to act like an adult. You're materialistic, dumbfounded, and a good friend of mine. Sometimes I wonder how this could be? Ay sus mariosep. (sp?). I want to tell you to go away sometimes, but I could never do that. Let it rain on your pretty little head.
4. AUGHS! You're blood and I can't believe it. Your grades are horrendous and your attitude is getting on my nerves. I don't see how I live with you. You make Melanie and Derrick fight, argue, and scream every other day. Why can't you open your ears and eyes? God gave you that use, yanno? But I could never hate you because I quarrel with harsh love...
5. Get out of my life. I love you. I yearn to see you any time of the day. But I want you to go away so I can move on with my life. You taught me the lesson of love obliviously and ignore me purposely. You make weird eye contact, and you give awkward greetings. I wish you knew. But you will never, ever, know.

3 Places

I want to go to 3 places before I turn 65 years old.

Belogradchik Rocks of Bulgaria. One of the 7 wonders of the world. The formations, which vary in color from red through yellow to grey, are a product of erosion and every distinct rock is named after an object it is believed to resemble.








Capital of Austria, Vienna. KNown for one the most places with the most happiest people because of less crime, people work less, and that's where Sound of Music was filmed.







Borneo River, of South America. I was thinking of the Amazon, but I remember a story where my Nanay(Grandmother) told me a scary story of poison and death occuring in a walking trail. This place looks beautiful so this is where I choose to go to.

My Faith.

I believe very highly in myself. I will myself to do things that others would never do. I place myself in positions and situations of the unthinkable. I know I have my faith to carry on beside me. Although there is one other person who I believe in more than myself. That is God.

I do not want to be persecutive or offensive, but I will say a couple of paragraphs maybe.

It is because of God that I have a reason for everything. I don't need the science bubbles or proof. All we need is trust and faith. I believe I have both. Although I'm not going to lie, I do waver and feel persecuted at times. But I always find some way to bring myself up. He is the reason. For He is the High Almighty Father. Before I keep going on, I'd like to give a shoutout to Alison B. Thank You, Ally. You helped me realize that I'm doing this to make a change. I wanted to show God that you didn't need to be ... Well. I don't want to really go on because I'll keep on going and going, then venting, then soon exploding with statements and contradictions. Bwahahaha.

I have had my own devotional prayer by myself since I turned 12 years old every night before I sleep. I've never missed one yet. Thank you.

Of the heart.

Why does it have to be so complicated? Why couldn't there be a book where they tell you who you're suppose to be with so you would've have to mess up your life searching for that one person. I mean, do soulmates really exist? I'm so scared. I'm a hopeless romantic yet I'm not that good in relationships. If I was, wouldn't I find myself happy right now giggling thinking about him? But I'm not.

Right now, I'm confused instead.
I don't know what love is. I don't think I'll ever. I want to give up on it. I wish I could. But I can't. Love is everywhere. All forms of it is found in the air, the sky, in the faces of the poeple around me, even in the words of those who don't even speak to me.

I wonder if he really is out there; Mr. Wonderful. What do I know? I'm just M____ N____ M_______. Nothing to find here but one face, several truths, and change that will affect this world.

KMHS

Plain out: I love my high school.

KM is so amazing. It has changed my life in so many ways. People here are straight up real and each and every single person is different and unique in their own way. I can't even sum up to the words that could describe this school. I'll leave it up to those who go there to know what I'm talking about.

Had a great day! Mahn, spring break!! Woot woot! In the morning I had jazz band and gave Jason his backpack and all. Then tried making up piano solos in Jazz with Logan. Logans is so frizzin musically inclined. His hands... I just want to poke them and examine how does his talent come to him? Bwahaha, I sound kinda stalkerish. Then went to first period, had a Japanese Test that I forgot about. Aha. I think it was probably B+ or something. :] Everyone has been pumped all day because of the Spring Sports Pep Assembly during 6th period, yo. Math, and english flew by. Had the best Biology period ever! We shared our cell models and the majority of them were edible so we basically ate food and chilled out! Aha. I can't believe Richard used a microchip thingie. And Zoey's pizza was bawb! Joanna's was so gooooooddd mahn. All sugar, colorful, and creative. Haha mine was brown cake. Bwaahahahahahah. Brown. :D Sandra's was all pink and cuhute. :D

Then had history. Mahn Mr. C knows his stuff. I actually have to pay attention in his class. Dangit. Haha. It was a working period but I just talked to R.Page the whole time. Then shared cake and laughter during lunch. Then 6th period!! I have Athletic Conditioning(Weight Training) so I was in the gym anyways. I just brought my stuff to the stands and all was good. Mahn that guy... So ugh. I swear, he's cool and all yanno? Just as long as he stays away from me, doesn't talk, don't breathe, or touch me, we're good. Ughs. It's whatever. I only have like several classes with him. Sighs. Then I sat with Faagi and Mirchev in the Sophomore section. It was hecka funny. For the Freshmen vs. Sophomores vs. Juniors vs. Seniors challenge, the FRESHMEN WONNNNN!!! WHOOOOOO!!!!! Good job Jason, Gerry, Aubbie, Ella, soccer guy, and Josie! Retarded Morris ripped the poster. Bwaha. JKJK!:D

After school took photos for Key Club and Filipino Club, then picked up my Sweats and Jacket for Track. I was so excited and happy to finally get them! Mahn I've been waiting forever for them. I feel so proud and dandy to have my last name on the back of me. People know who I am. BWAHAH. Then Ally, Sandra, and I went to Sandra's house and chilled for awhile. Ally and I agreed to clean Sandra's room. DAAAYYUNNNNGG! Cleaning her room was like picking up all the dead bodies and cleaning the blood from World War 1! Dang dude. It was crazy. We moved her bed, desks, and drawers around. Ventured in her closet, and underside of her bed. I love you Sandisan and all but you girl are a packrat or something. You have so many clothes! And yet you still want to shop??? Mahn you don't even use half of it. Be grateful and appreciated for what you have, my beautiful. :D

Then Jayson came so Ally and I headed to my house with Jayson. Sandra had to stay home because of parents. Dangit. Aha. Then we got ready for bible study at Jaimee's house. Jeff and Gerry canceled out on us... >;| aha.
Before going to Jaimee's house the 3 of us agreed on going to Paris' house to visit her. We pranked her that we were all at my house and all then we showed up at her front door. I LOVE PARIS! She's so amazing and awesome. I miss her so much mahn! I miss middle school wtih her and everything bwahahaha. She agreed to go with us to bible study. We saw Sarah!!! I MISS HER SO MUCH TOO! Dangit. Haha. It was a fun time. The 4 of us chickas huung out and discussed high school like neverbefore.:D

Soon it was time to leave and we all did. Now I'm at home pondering in my head. Aha.

Goal of the next few days: Improve Writing Skills.

Siblings.

What in the world do you do that makes them give you everything that you want?
What kind of face do you pull or act that you keep on? Why can't I do that? Why is it you're allowed to say those brash words and I can't even say no to them? Why are you a spoiled little brat who doesn't know the value of anything?

I can't believe you are related to me. You are babied, pitied, and are the most luckiest buzzturd alive.
You think everyone's going to freaking hand food, money, clothes, and shelter to you for the rest of your life?
Do you really think that your days could only consist of feeding your face and pressing buttons on the controller? Well, guess what, that's not life. You may be the only one in this whole fricking world that I envy.
You think life is so hard for you? Really? REALLY?

Try being your big sister, dear boy. Try being me. Try. I hate hate it. For some reason everyone says that you look up to me? How is that? Do you really? I wish that just for one day you could live in the world and be close to dying not being able to survive so you know at least what reality is.

I wish that I could say I Hate You out loud, but I can't. Because I don't mean it. I'm sick of seeing you fail. I'm sick of seeing you stay on your lazy butt and still get whatever you ask for. I'm sick of being out and about trying to live up my reputation as me and coming home to be ashamed of what I do. I'm sick of _____________.

History Homework.

December 28th, 1914

Dear Love,
How are you, my dear? Why couldn't I have just listened to you and stay home... Tending to the kids, cooking, cleaning, and living the simple life. But instead I chose to go for my oldest dream since I was a young girl; to serve in the war. Thank you for understanding, but I wish you were more reluctant to let me go. There was a crushing of the German advance about a month ago. I think I may go deaf from all the gunfire and bomb attacks. I never knew that warfare was so tense, and hot.

Here's something interesting to tell the kids, I am living in a trench. Tell them that it's like an outstretched tunnel with no dirt ceiling. All these men are taking the restroom right in front of me. At first I was uncomfortable, but I have grown so use to it by now. Barely anyone here speaks English. The Germans seem to be getting more aggresive each day. We become more cynical each night. Christmas has just passed and it was certainly interesting. The day before Christmas, the Germans delivered a chocolate cake which signified as action to cease fire so the Germans may have a concert. The day after Christmas, no guns were fired or threats shouted out. It was as if both sides were waiting, waiting, watiting for the first move.

My love, I hear Jimmy Bob Thornton calling for us to put on our gas masks. I will write again soon when I have time huddle against the opposite wall of the enemy in order to tell you that I love and miss you.

With Love, Maria S.

Track.

At the starting line, the ubiquitous aroma of focus and determination mixes with the air. In the race, the only thoughts that could run through your mind is GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! The finish line if where the heart beats the fastest, perspiration at its highest, and your body's muscles just are screaming to keep going. Track is a sport of many skills and talents; running, sprinting, hurdling, long humping, high jumping, pole vaulting, shot putting, and long running. This sport is a sport world-wide spread sport. It is a many loved game and it is the sport of my life. Sports boost up confidence. They help you realize you can do other things in your life and use the best of your ability. Sports test your strength and dedication. It helps you keep in fit, face acception and rejection.


I first started Track in 7th grade. I was influenced and coaxed to join from my older cousin. She kept talking about how great it was and how much funny moments she had. Ahaha. So I thought "Hmm, why not?". At first it was BRUTALLL. My first practice was on a Friday. I still remember it. It was the day that I trained myself to stop complaining and learn how to pick up my legs. That weekend I was so sore, I wanted to decapitate my legs and travel on a wheelchair. How could would that be?:D After the first week, I almost wanted to quit. But then I watched all my friends participate in the first track meet. Of course, I was inelligible. I watched them raced, watched some lose, watched some win. It was fantastic! It was seriously life changing. No joke.

The day before my first track meet, I said to my coach, I am not good but I could be better, please help me. My first track meet I got 3rd place, 4th place, and a good score on my long jump! I was so proud of myself. And from then on, every track meet I've had I was always happy for me because I knew I worked hard, win or lose.

Everytime the Olympics is on, I watch, gape, and observe. I love track. I feel like it might be the only hobby of mine that I am good at. Hurdling is amazing. I swear, when I lift my leg up and my trail leg falls behind its as if I'm like prancing around. I know that might sound kind of corny, but that's really how I feel! First time I hurdles I fell and scraped my knees and elbows. You know what my hurdle coach said? "You're a true hurdler already. You got the scars to prove it!"


I love track. No competition with that sport. Running takes my breath away, literally. I had a hero once who felt the same way... She felt as strong about running as I did. More than how I felt actually. My dream was to be as fast as she was, and always be next to her racing the wind. But it's all good. Still today we're racing the wind, but it sometimes is too strong for the both of us. '

The Telephone.

The telephone has greatly affected our society and our connections to the world today by how it’s made communication much easier and cheaper, allowed distance to just be a ring away, and has affected written and spoken communication skills. Even though it may have some negative effects such as ill type-written texts, and cancer related brain damage, I think these only apply to those who overuse the phone and are ADDICTED.
One cultural example is in the all-American teenager life today, most teens call up the first person that comes to mind when discussing important issues or spreading big news.
One example of economical perspective is in order for people to set up an appointment or make done deals yet the distance creates a problem, they use the telephone to relay the business at hand.
One example of economical perspective is in order for people to set up an appointment or make done deals yet the distance creates a problem, they use the telephone to relay the business at hand.

People text, call, message, and only depend on their cell phone. It's basically their life. Look what the telephone has done to people! I support this invention except I just hope people don’t go a little overboard. It may have some downs of addictiveness, and mental damage, but it’s a great invention. Alexander G. Bell has affected the Industrial Revolution by how his invention in 1876 of the telephone allowed people to communicate easier and faster, while being able to spread the news to keep people informed. His invention allowed long distance to be only a ring away.

Book Review

Author: Annie Bryant
Title: Beacon Street Girls: Worst Enemies/Best Friends (The BSG Series)

Summary: This childrens' series book is about four best friends; Charlotte, Katani, Avery, and Maeve. Charlotte is a new kid who moved from London. She joins a lunch table of 3 seventh graders who are Katani, Avery, and Maeve. After an embarassing tablecloth food incident created by Charlotte, the four become worst enemies. Charlotte invites her ex-bestfriends to a sleepover at her house hoping to maybe rekindle their friendship. During their sleepover while looking for a mouse, they discover an entrance to "The Tower". After this major find, they become best friends once again using the Tower ar their fortress. This fictional novel is about true best friends with such different qualities that it's the fact that they're difference which makes loves each other so much.

Messages from the Book:
-We should speak our minds.
-We shouldn't put ourselves down, even if we aren't super good at something, or smart, or beautiful.
-Be loyal to your friends. Try not to lie to them even if they made a mistake or did soemthing totally embarassing.
-Always try for something new-how we you know what we can or can't do if we never try?
-How can you choose your dream if you can't keep up?
-You shouldn't take from people, but give back all the good things we're losing.

My Uneducated Note:
I read this book because my younger second cousin from Toronto told it's one of her favorite series and kept asking me to read the book. Haha. So I did. Even if it's a young teen's series book, it sends some good messages.
-Yiou shouldn't take from people or from the planet.

Q&A.

Hmm, I feel like I need to share a piece of my brain into this blog. Never tried it before, but here goes nothing;

*I find it amazing that when you're looking at a city, you're judging it by its view. You thinnk its beautiful and mesmerizing. There's all these lights, and shadows, sounds and noises. When a light shuts off, you don't notice. When two cars collide and crash, you don't hear it. When someone jumps off a building, you can't see it. Through these 3 scenarios, what makes me think that we'd care? Only if we knew those people right? Or what house this is all happening from, yanno? I don't knwo about you but this is what I think about everytime I see a city. At first I think "Wow it's beautiful" then "Oh my gosh... all the people and things all around me. I'm looking at something that I don't even know what I'm looking at!"

*So, I was wondering. Do caterpillars whisper? I mean those fuzzy ones, I swear, they make noises as they scrunch up on a branch. You know like how we imitate how a caterpillar moves on the floor and yeah? I feel like I can hear them whisper. I put my ear right next to them and it's as if it wants to tell me something. I think "Hmm, are all insects and animals like this?" I mean, they might not have a soul, but they still are aware of their surroundings and surroudings organsims. When I was a kid I used to think everything could talk and was alive. In 2nd grade I'd get home, greet my room, my door, my bed, then ask my stuff animals how their day was. I still do it today actually but only to my stuffed animals. x]

YOU WOULDN'T READ THIS WHOLE THING BECAUSE YOU THINK IT HAS TO MUCH WORDS.
*The digestive system is so amazing to me. As we swallow all these muscles are working themselves out and we're allowing all sorts of things to be passed through our body by choice, but the procedues and reactions happening... we have no choice at all! Why not? Aren't we allowed to let all things be voluntary so we become more self-aware of our bodies? If we aren't controlling the things that are involuntary, then who or what is? The back of our minds? As we sleep we rest our body and let things heal and help themselves. But how? Why? What's happening as we're sleeping? Are dreams really the images in the back of our minds or events we try to forget or a little person who tries to pleasure us with dreams then scare us with nightmares? It fascinates me. How is it that my nerves are sending messages so quickly to my brain to type the letters that are right before you? How do those messages tell my body parts to move? How does my nerves tell my hands to control my fingers to type down on the lab top keys? Mahn, talk about multitasking.

*You wanna know something that's funny? I always feel so strong and mighty after a huge epiphany. Maybe cause epiphanies are good for me or something? But like I realize so many things after I feel like I'm on the brink of falling apart. When I fall apart it could be because of anger or sadness. When I'm super furious or so sad that I want to drain all the brains in my head so I can't feel myself wanting to cry anymore... Something inside of me snaps and tells me that I'm not allowed to be like that. And then that's when my epiphany happens because I ask myself the simple question "Why?" Sounds confusing I know. But really, when I ask myself why? All these things race through my mind and speeds up back to normal tempo. I start thinking straight and my brain unclogs, my heart starts beating regularly, and my body tempature comes back to normal. I think to myself why am I feeling like this? Why am I acting like this? Who or what caused this? And then I figure out everything. It makes me feel so revived and anewed in the end. LIKE RIGHT NOW! I was in such a mood like a half hour ago. It was such a mood of distress and anger that I wanted to rip someone's arm out. I laid on my floor, cradled my legs, cried a bit out of frustration, then my cousin called asking if I was going to my uncle's party. He was lonely and was asking for me to go. I told him no and to hang out with the other cousins. He said he'd only do that if I was there. I told him no. He got bad because I was acting all sour.
When I got off the phone I thought "Darnit, I was being nasty to my cousin when it wasn't even his fault. I need to chill out. There's a time for everything and it's not right now to be weak." Then I took a shower, wrote this and am feeling relieved as every second passes by.

*That's another thing! Is there really a time for everything? Every hour of the 24 hours we have we are either wasting it by being dumb weirdos, working our butts off trying to achieve something, or becoming emotionally stable for whatever is happening at that second. I mean, I'm kinda surprised if you actually are still reading this. Because I write a lot, and it's not that it's jibberish or anything but like you started it, why not read it? But if you knew me, you should know I read every word that you write. Not trying to sound mean, okay?! But like shouldn't you show the same courtesy towards me... Not to be mean or selfish! Sorry! Aughs. Haha. You know how above I wrote that litle message on how you won't actually read this? It's because I wanted to get your attention so you could at least come to this part. I hope you learned something. Please feel free to read a different blog as I continue by weird rant on the things inside my head.

*Just to let you know I only have one thing left to write about that puzzles me.
What is so hard about being yourself? Think about this for a moment, please. Literally takes your eyes off this computer screen and stare at your ceiling and think "Why is it so hard to act like yourself?"



Have you thought about it? Really? Okay, good. Now I don't know what's going on through your head right now but I came up with two pretty good reasons on why it's so hard.
1. They don't know who that is because they haven't found themselves.
2. They're scared. Down right frightened to death.

Explanation of Reason#1: They have not had enough time to find who they really and truly are. They're so confused by all people who are or act like they know themselves, that when it comes to YOU, you think that those are the people you want to be like. There could be one person that they want to be like, or a group of peeps they wish they could be a part of. The whole point of this century is fitting in. Our parents don't know that, but we do. So many people wish to be like others. So many others feel envy and jealousy. I'm not trying to be cocky or whatnot, but that's the only difference between me and THOSE PEOPLE. I wish not to be those of the world, but wish to be just simply me on this bed, typing on my computer, telling you this. They're lost. They don't know where to go and are confused. They ask people for help, guidance, some kind of love and care to show them the way, but they can't find it. In order to find out who you are, it could only be found by you. When you know who you are, there are no words to explain your description because when people look at you, that's all it takes to know who you are.

Explanation of Reason#2: This is the one that ticks me off. This is the main reason people that afflicts kids and teens all over this planet called earth. They're scared, it's simple. Wanna argue? Then you must be one of them. Jkjkjk! I hope this blog doesn't take anyone offense, alright? I just wanted to write what's going on in my head for once. And here I am. But anyways, they're scared. For multiple reasons. Scared of what people might think, scared of rejection, scared to face acception, scared to not be like everyone else. But you gotta think! That's what makes us like everyone else; all of us are our own individual! Each of us are different! There's no way we can be like everyone! Cause if you try and do that, then that's where fake and two-face comes in. There is no one on this planet that shows only one face, except for the rare exception of this one girl I know... I can't really tell you because she's a bit embarassed of it. She shouldn't but she is. Back on topic, these people who are scared are more lost and confused than the ones who don't know who themselves are. What can they do to realize this?
Well there's a real simple solution; shrug off the thoughts and comments of "them", reject the fact that you are not "them", accept the way they were born to look like, realize that they are just like you... which is scared.

Now I'm finished. You might not have changed a bit over the time that you dedicated to read this. That shows what little understanding you have of my mind. But that's okay! I only wanted this blog to let you think. To help you think of the things that you never have.. This was super long. And I hope you enjoyed, entertained, shocked, and confused. That was my goal. Thank you! And your welcome.

The Secret Life of Bees.

Summary: This movie is about a young white girled named Lily who is living under the roof of her abusing and cruel white father. He tells her that her mother walked out on her and left her to die when she was only but 2 years old or so. Lily runs away with her nanny, Rosaleen. Rosaleen is a black woman who was always getting beaten by the father. Lily, unsure of where to head off to, decides to run away to find the hidden trace of her mother. She keeps a picture of her mother at a honeybee reservation and traces the steps to the pink house of Miss August Boatwright and her two sisters. Lily and Rosaleen ask to stay and end up having a home of shelter, working in the house and with the beehives, clothes, food, and open hearts for love. This movie is set in the times where blacks were undermining the whites and it was hard to earn freedom. The message of the story can come in all kinds of different ways.

-Love comes in all diffent shapes and sizes. There's not one perfect love.
-This world is just like the hive of a busy bee. We're so much into what we're doing, our jobs, our families, that we don't see much of what's going on around us and who's taking care of us.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who feels unloved, threatened because of their outer exterior, or just wants to be unbordified (not a word haha).

To You.

"Our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it"- Landon Carter.

A Walk to Remember is a very most enjoyable movie. It teaches you about second chances, good change, and faith. Mandy Moore stars as little church girl Jamie who reaches out to a misfortunate named Landon Carter. As they grow on each other and learn from each other, the beginning of a most cherish love starts. I would recommend this movie to any sap for a romantic, or those who want an example on what and how to get fatih. This movie is incredible and it just makes you feel great to be alive.



My Own Personal Uneducated Note:
This movie is awesome. It makes me feel lucky in my life. I am surrounded by so many people that love me for who I am. I have two parents who are like my two legs. My friends are always there for me even if I tell them to go away or just freak out with no words for output. And the love of my life is striving for a high education for his life even if it means he has to put love on hold. My half-blood is on her way to success with love by her side, and me in her heart. My FABulous hearts are on a rocky start but ready to take on anything. The other school I love are getting along with each other and never going to forget about me. My little brother is just starting to grow up and open his eyes.
And me? I'm ready to help change this world, spread the love, and show everyone the light.