Q&A.

Hmm, I feel like I need to share a piece of my brain into this blog. Never tried it before, but here goes nothing;

*I find it amazing that when you're looking at a city, you're judging it by its view. You thinnk its beautiful and mesmerizing. There's all these lights, and shadows, sounds and noises. When a light shuts off, you don't notice. When two cars collide and crash, you don't hear it. When someone jumps off a building, you can't see it. Through these 3 scenarios, what makes me think that we'd care? Only if we knew those people right? Or what house this is all happening from, yanno? I don't knwo about you but this is what I think about everytime I see a city. At first I think "Wow it's beautiful" then "Oh my gosh... all the people and things all around me. I'm looking at something that I don't even know what I'm looking at!"

*So, I was wondering. Do caterpillars whisper? I mean those fuzzy ones, I swear, they make noises as they scrunch up on a branch. You know like how we imitate how a caterpillar moves on the floor and yeah? I feel like I can hear them whisper. I put my ear right next to them and it's as if it wants to tell me something. I think "Hmm, are all insects and animals like this?" I mean, they might not have a soul, but they still are aware of their surroundings and surroudings organsims. When I was a kid I used to think everything could talk and was alive. In 2nd grade I'd get home, greet my room, my door, my bed, then ask my stuff animals how their day was. I still do it today actually but only to my stuffed animals. x]

YOU WOULDN'T READ THIS WHOLE THING BECAUSE YOU THINK IT HAS TO MUCH WORDS.
*The digestive system is so amazing to me. As we swallow all these muscles are working themselves out and we're allowing all sorts of things to be passed through our body by choice, but the procedues and reactions happening... we have no choice at all! Why not? Aren't we allowed to let all things be voluntary so we become more self-aware of our bodies? If we aren't controlling the things that are involuntary, then who or what is? The back of our minds? As we sleep we rest our body and let things heal and help themselves. But how? Why? What's happening as we're sleeping? Are dreams really the images in the back of our minds or events we try to forget or a little person who tries to pleasure us with dreams then scare us with nightmares? It fascinates me. How is it that my nerves are sending messages so quickly to my brain to type the letters that are right before you? How do those messages tell my body parts to move? How does my nerves tell my hands to control my fingers to type down on the lab top keys? Mahn, talk about multitasking.

*You wanna know something that's funny? I always feel so strong and mighty after a huge epiphany. Maybe cause epiphanies are good for me or something? But like I realize so many things after I feel like I'm on the brink of falling apart. When I fall apart it could be because of anger or sadness. When I'm super furious or so sad that I want to drain all the brains in my head so I can't feel myself wanting to cry anymore... Something inside of me snaps and tells me that I'm not allowed to be like that. And then that's when my epiphany happens because I ask myself the simple question "Why?" Sounds confusing I know. But really, when I ask myself why? All these things race through my mind and speeds up back to normal tempo. I start thinking straight and my brain unclogs, my heart starts beating regularly, and my body tempature comes back to normal. I think to myself why am I feeling like this? Why am I acting like this? Who or what caused this? And then I figure out everything. It makes me feel so revived and anewed in the end. LIKE RIGHT NOW! I was in such a mood like a half hour ago. It was such a mood of distress and anger that I wanted to rip someone's arm out. I laid on my floor, cradled my legs, cried a bit out of frustration, then my cousin called asking if I was going to my uncle's party. He was lonely and was asking for me to go. I told him no and to hang out with the other cousins. He said he'd only do that if I was there. I told him no. He got bad because I was acting all sour.
When I got off the phone I thought "Darnit, I was being nasty to my cousin when it wasn't even his fault. I need to chill out. There's a time for everything and it's not right now to be weak." Then I took a shower, wrote this and am feeling relieved as every second passes by.

*That's another thing! Is there really a time for everything? Every hour of the 24 hours we have we are either wasting it by being dumb weirdos, working our butts off trying to achieve something, or becoming emotionally stable for whatever is happening at that second. I mean, I'm kinda surprised if you actually are still reading this. Because I write a lot, and it's not that it's jibberish or anything but like you started it, why not read it? But if you knew me, you should know I read every word that you write. Not trying to sound mean, okay?! But like shouldn't you show the same courtesy towards me... Not to be mean or selfish! Sorry! Aughs. Haha. You know how above I wrote that litle message on how you won't actually read this? It's because I wanted to get your attention so you could at least come to this part. I hope you learned something. Please feel free to read a different blog as I continue by weird rant on the things inside my head.

*Just to let you know I only have one thing left to write about that puzzles me.
What is so hard about being yourself? Think about this for a moment, please. Literally takes your eyes off this computer screen and stare at your ceiling and think "Why is it so hard to act like yourself?"



Have you thought about it? Really? Okay, good. Now I don't know what's going on through your head right now but I came up with two pretty good reasons on why it's so hard.
1. They don't know who that is because they haven't found themselves.
2. They're scared. Down right frightened to death.

Explanation of Reason#1: They have not had enough time to find who they really and truly are. They're so confused by all people who are or act like they know themselves, that when it comes to YOU, you think that those are the people you want to be like. There could be one person that they want to be like, or a group of peeps they wish they could be a part of. The whole point of this century is fitting in. Our parents don't know that, but we do. So many people wish to be like others. So many others feel envy and jealousy. I'm not trying to be cocky or whatnot, but that's the only difference between me and THOSE PEOPLE. I wish not to be those of the world, but wish to be just simply me on this bed, typing on my computer, telling you this. They're lost. They don't know where to go and are confused. They ask people for help, guidance, some kind of love and care to show them the way, but they can't find it. In order to find out who you are, it could only be found by you. When you know who you are, there are no words to explain your description because when people look at you, that's all it takes to know who you are.

Explanation of Reason#2: This is the one that ticks me off. This is the main reason people that afflicts kids and teens all over this planet called earth. They're scared, it's simple. Wanna argue? Then you must be one of them. Jkjkjk! I hope this blog doesn't take anyone offense, alright? I just wanted to write what's going on in my head for once. And here I am. But anyways, they're scared. For multiple reasons. Scared of what people might think, scared of rejection, scared to face acception, scared to not be like everyone else. But you gotta think! That's what makes us like everyone else; all of us are our own individual! Each of us are different! There's no way we can be like everyone! Cause if you try and do that, then that's where fake and two-face comes in. There is no one on this planet that shows only one face, except for the rare exception of this one girl I know... I can't really tell you because she's a bit embarassed of it. She shouldn't but she is. Back on topic, these people who are scared are more lost and confused than the ones who don't know who themselves are. What can they do to realize this?
Well there's a real simple solution; shrug off the thoughts and comments of "them", reject the fact that you are not "them", accept the way they were born to look like, realize that they are just like you... which is scared.

Now I'm finished. You might not have changed a bit over the time that you dedicated to read this. That shows what little understanding you have of my mind. But that's okay! I only wanted this blog to let you think. To help you think of the things that you never have.. This was super long. And I hope you enjoyed, entertained, shocked, and confused. That was my goal. Thank you! And your welcome.

The Secret Life of Bees.

Summary: This movie is about a young white girled named Lily who is living under the roof of her abusing and cruel white father. He tells her that her mother walked out on her and left her to die when she was only but 2 years old or so. Lily runs away with her nanny, Rosaleen. Rosaleen is a black woman who was always getting beaten by the father. Lily, unsure of where to head off to, decides to run away to find the hidden trace of her mother. She keeps a picture of her mother at a honeybee reservation and traces the steps to the pink house of Miss August Boatwright and her two sisters. Lily and Rosaleen ask to stay and end up having a home of shelter, working in the house and with the beehives, clothes, food, and open hearts for love. This movie is set in the times where blacks were undermining the whites and it was hard to earn freedom. The message of the story can come in all kinds of different ways.

-Love comes in all diffent shapes and sizes. There's not one perfect love.
-This world is just like the hive of a busy bee. We're so much into what we're doing, our jobs, our families, that we don't see much of what's going on around us and who's taking care of us.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who feels unloved, threatened because of their outer exterior, or just wants to be unbordified (not a word haha).

To You.

"Our love is like the wind. I can't see it, but I can feel it"- Landon Carter.

A Walk to Remember is a very most enjoyable movie. It teaches you about second chances, good change, and faith. Mandy Moore stars as little church girl Jamie who reaches out to a misfortunate named Landon Carter. As they grow on each other and learn from each other, the beginning of a most cherish love starts. I would recommend this movie to any sap for a romantic, or those who want an example on what and how to get fatih. This movie is incredible and it just makes you feel great to be alive.



My Own Personal Uneducated Note:
This movie is awesome. It makes me feel lucky in my life. I am surrounded by so many people that love me for who I am. I have two parents who are like my two legs. My friends are always there for me even if I tell them to go away or just freak out with no words for output. And the love of my life is striving for a high education for his life even if it means he has to put love on hold. My half-blood is on her way to success with love by her side, and me in her heart. My FABulous hearts are on a rocky start but ready to take on anything. The other school I love are getting along with each other and never going to forget about me. My little brother is just starting to grow up and open his eyes.
And me? I'm ready to help change this world, spread the love, and show everyone the light.

Persuasion, the Movie.

"No, I believe you capable of everything great and good in your married lives. I believe you equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as--if I may be allowed the expression--so long as you have an object. I mean while the woman you love lives, and lives for you. All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one; you need not covet it), is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone." -Anne Elliot.

The movie Persuasion, also a book written by the famously known Jane Austen, is a very good movie to me. Even if it may be an old movie taking the time period of maybe the early 1800s, it is a romance novel giving a solid message of sticking to your morals and values, and waiting for hopeless love. Anne Elliot is a silent but desperate woman who after she almost breaks the heart of the one she loves, still had waited for him for 8 1/2 years. I am a sap for any movie that consists of a heated chemistry, but I truly love this movie. This movie teaches you that the wait is all worth it, and that treasuring your values really hands you the most precious teasure, in the end that is.
It may not be as best as Pride and Prejudice, or Sense and Sensibility, but I do find this movie quite extradordinary. I could relate to dear Anne in so many ways. The quote above simply speaks all truth of what I stand by. Yet doubt always fills my head confusing my heart. This quote is confusing to me but makes sense which makes me want to keep rereading this quote.