Love is like fire. It can only grow with the combination of wood and those supporting molecules in the air. But most of all it needs that spark. That spark that will enlight the whole thing. What would we do without the spark? Once the spark lights between the oxygen molecules and the wood combust and BAM, you got a fire. And it grows and it grows. But without that tiny small spark, it had never happened. What happens if the fire goes out? You just keep fueling the fire and keeping that spark up.
Love,
Chicken.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Let's get it done!
Maria Molina
Period 3
Due Date: November 22nd, 2010th
History Essay 1
The Civil War between the North and the South of the United States in 1861-1865 marked an important moment in history. The Civil War resulted in the abolishment of slavery, and both sides of the nation reuniting. Each side had many differences and opinions that collided with one another triggering a war that took a larger death toll than any other war in American history. One of the issues that they had disagreed upon was slavery; while the South grinned happily at the sight of slaves working, the North frowned upon the inequality of slaves in society. Starting in Virginia, slavery had progressed helping the South’s economy flourish and boost their self esteem. The abolitionist movement was based on the growth of opposition to slavery starting in the 1830s. As slavery spread throughout the nation, its legality in states was argued creating a political and economical divide within the nation. Once the nation was inspired of the idea of Manifest Destiny, the merit of whether slaves were a benefactor for the economy was tested. All of these problems slowly broke up the political parties, thus forming new ones that led to the election of the amazing Abraham Lincoln. The issue of slavery was sorted out by many historians going in different directions in example of a paternalistic and benevolent view verses punitive and pernicious view on slavery, or whether slavery was even important as a cause of the Civil War. Slavery as one of the causes of the Civil War had a huge impact because it led to tensions between the North and South over moral, economic, and political differences.
After the slave system had become race-based and the Southern economy became more important, the need for slaves increased. The system of slaves in the American South was of racial subordination. Race-based slavery was established first with the idea in the United States that if you weren’t Christian, then you were to become a slave. A case happened later on where three men who had escaped from prison were caught, and then trialed for jail. The two white men had a sentence of a couple years while the black man was sentenced for life. This happened because many people started to believe that if you were born African American race or were African American, you were inferior to other races generally the whites. The whites thought themselves as the majority or superior race, and those below them were the inferior. Local laws were being established to institutionalize slavery, and eventually nationally. Race-based slavery couldn’t have developed without the supporting ideas of African American inferiority. The control of slaves dealt with almost four million blacks by eight million whites after the cotton production. Many Southerners had moved to the flourish states for one reason; cotton. Cotton became the main manufacturer and it was starting to outnumber the profit that slaves would hold out. But then cotton production and slave population rose together from 1790-1860. Soon next to cotton laid the production of corn in its compatibility. Corn was more essential to a family’s lifestyle. Both the Upper and Lower South states were prosperous with the production of corn and cotton. This resulted in a larger call of slaves to come and work for the manufacturers. The South’s economy had grown out of the slum and the value of slaves had increased. The rise of the abolitionist movement started once slaves who were Christian realized how immoral the act of slavery was. But slavery couldn’t be abolished immediately because of the greed that the southern slave holders held. There were those who had assumptions that American slavery was unprofitable, inefficient, and extremely hard to live as a slave. But Robert William Fogelman and Stanley L. Engerman support that slavery was economically useful especially in the case of the South, where cash crops like cotton, sugar, and corn grew. These men also recognized the achievement of the black slaves and portrayed slavery as a successful and reasonably moral system. Slaves were used for the economy, and even if Jefferson and Washington had argued slavery was wrong, they were also slaveholders; slaveholders wouldn’t give an ear to listen because slaves were such an essential part of the economy. The South’s determination to rise in their economy eventually led to their unfortunate differences with the North.
As the economic and social life of being a slave worsened, the morality of slavery was argued starting the Abolitionist movement. It can be supported that the life of a slave was very tough and strictly disciplined. Both men and women slaves usually had to work full day hours under the control of their white slaveholders. Masters were encouraged to whip their slaves every now and then because it would keep the slaves in line. Reading the statistics of annual net earnings, average daily food consumption of slaves, distribution of whippings, and life expectancy, slavery could almost be portrayed as an essentially equal institution where masters tended after the submissive African Americans. Slaves received fair amounts of food, where whipping at the most twelve times a year, and lived almost as long as the white folks. Most southern families didn’t even own slaves, and those with money had slaves in order to gain more money. But the economic and social life of being a slave in the South leading up to 1861 was still difficult. Slave trade had a devastating effect on natural increase among blacks. Black slave marriages were increasing on same or nearby plantations. Masters gave their consent for the slave marriages and encouraged them because they wanted to bring new slaves into the world and didn’t want to discourage slaves from running away. Slaves multiplied and soon the Western Hemisphere had more slaves that reproduced faster and lived longer. But there were some slaves who encouraged others to rebel, like Nat Turner. The Nat Turner Rebellion frightened slaveholders that the same could happen to their slaves. Nat Turner was an escaped slave trying to bring justice. He had a past of family members who had been hurt or taken away from him because of slavery. Turner’s Rebellion was almost three days, and could’ve been called the “First War” in front of the Civil War. This rebellion proved that African Americans would die in order to end slavery. An effective tool for whites was Christianity because it made them believe that slavery was acts of God in them helping the slaves find salvation. But Christianity for the blacks also turned in another way; it made them realize how unjustified slavery was. Historian Ulrish B. Phillip’s American Negro Slavery said that slaveholders were kind and gracious making the slaves feel content with life. But Frederick Douglass had said from Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass that “We have men-stealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradle-plunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cowskin during the week fill the pulpit on Sunday, and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus… We have men sold to build churches, women sold to support the gospel, and babes sold to purchase Bibles for the poor heathen! All for the glory of God and the good of souls”. Frederick Douglass was a prominent black member of society. Douglass wanted us to realize that these men and women who call themselves Christians are frauds, and hypocrites! They steal men, whip women, etc. He points out how those who are being accused as thieves and adulterers are being accused by the actual thieves and adulterers. Douglass is trying to attack slavery with an emotion of guilt and pity. As men and women started realizing that slavery was wrong, it spread like the ripples after an apple dropping in water. In 1831, abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison printed out the Liberator, a newspaper that for almost 35 years spoke out against slavery and for the rights of African Americans. Garrison, a leader among American abolitionists, provided his views with conviction, as well as foresight. "Posterity," he had said in the editorial, "will bear testimony that I was right." Although abolitionists did not free any slaves, they raised the nation’s consciences about the moral evils of slavery and their actions definitely helped lead to the action of the Civil War.
Three more body paragraphs and a conclusion left.
Let's get it done!
Period 3
Due Date: November 22nd, 2010th
History Essay 1
The Civil War between the North and the South of the United States in 1861-1865 marked an important moment in history. The Civil War resulted in the abolishment of slavery, and both sides of the nation reuniting. Each side had many differences and opinions that collided with one another triggering a war that took a larger death toll than any other war in American history. One of the issues that they had disagreed upon was slavery; while the South grinned happily at the sight of slaves working, the North frowned upon the inequality of slaves in society. Starting in Virginia, slavery had progressed helping the South’s economy flourish and boost their self esteem. The abolitionist movement was based on the growth of opposition to slavery starting in the 1830s. As slavery spread throughout the nation, its legality in states was argued creating a political and economical divide within the nation. Once the nation was inspired of the idea of Manifest Destiny, the merit of whether slaves were a benefactor for the economy was tested. All of these problems slowly broke up the political parties, thus forming new ones that led to the election of the amazing Abraham Lincoln. The issue of slavery was sorted out by many historians going in different directions in example of a paternalistic and benevolent view verses punitive and pernicious view on slavery, or whether slavery was even important as a cause of the Civil War. Slavery as one of the causes of the Civil War had a huge impact because it led to tensions between the North and South over moral, economic, and political differences.
After the slave system had become race-based and the Southern economy became more important, the need for slaves increased. The system of slaves in the American South was of racial subordination. Race-based slavery was established first with the idea in the United States that if you weren’t Christian, then you were to become a slave. A case happened later on where three men who had escaped from prison were caught, and then trialed for jail. The two white men had a sentence of a couple years while the black man was sentenced for life. This happened because many people started to believe that if you were born African American race or were African American, you were inferior to other races generally the whites. The whites thought themselves as the majority or superior race, and those below them were the inferior. Local laws were being established to institutionalize slavery, and eventually nationally. Race-based slavery couldn’t have developed without the supporting ideas of African American inferiority. The control of slaves dealt with almost four million blacks by eight million whites after the cotton production. Many Southerners had moved to the flourish states for one reason; cotton. Cotton became the main manufacturer and it was starting to outnumber the profit that slaves would hold out. But then cotton production and slave population rose together from 1790-1860. Soon next to cotton laid the production of corn in its compatibility. Corn was more essential to a family’s lifestyle. Both the Upper and Lower South states were prosperous with the production of corn and cotton. This resulted in a larger call of slaves to come and work for the manufacturers. The South’s economy had grown out of the slum and the value of slaves had increased. The rise of the abolitionist movement started once slaves who were Christian realized how immoral the act of slavery was. But slavery couldn’t be abolished immediately because of the greed that the southern slave holders held. There were those who had assumptions that American slavery was unprofitable, inefficient, and extremely hard to live as a slave. But Robert William Fogelman and Stanley L. Engerman support that slavery was economically useful especially in the case of the South, where cash crops like cotton, sugar, and corn grew. These men also recognized the achievement of the black slaves and portrayed slavery as a successful and reasonably moral system. Slaves were used for the economy, and even if Jefferson and Washington had argued slavery was wrong, they were also slaveholders; slaveholders wouldn’t give an ear to listen because slaves were such an essential part of the economy. The South’s determination to rise in their economy eventually led to their unfortunate differences with the North.
As the economic and social life of being a slave worsened, the morality of slavery was argued starting the Abolitionist movement. It can be supported that the life of a slave was very tough and strictly disciplined. Both men and women slaves usually had to work full day hours under the control of their white slaveholders. Masters were encouraged to whip their slaves every now and then because it would keep the slaves in line. Reading the statistics of annual net earnings, average daily food consumption of slaves, distribution of whippings, and life expectancy, slavery could almost be portrayed as an essentially equal institution where masters tended after the submissive African Americans. Slaves received fair amounts of food, where whipping at the most twelve times a year, and lived almost as long as the white folks. Most southern families didn’t even own slaves, and those with money had slaves in order to gain more money. But the economic and social life of being a slave in the South leading up to 1861 was still difficult. Slave trade had a devastating effect on natural increase among blacks. Black slave marriages were increasing on same or nearby plantations. Masters gave their consent for the slave marriages and encouraged them because they wanted to bring new slaves into the world and didn’t want to discourage slaves from running away. Slaves multiplied and soon the Western Hemisphere had more slaves that reproduced faster and lived longer. But there were some slaves who encouraged others to rebel, like Nat Turner. The Nat Turner Rebellion frightened slaveholders that the same could happen to their slaves. Nat Turner was an escaped slave trying to bring justice. He had a past of family members who had been hurt or taken away from him because of slavery. Turner’s Rebellion was almost three days, and could’ve been called the “First War” in front of the Civil War. This rebellion proved that African Americans would die in order to end slavery. An effective tool for whites was Christianity because it made them believe that slavery was acts of God in them helping the slaves find salvation. But Christianity for the blacks also turned in another way; it made them realize how unjustified slavery was. Historian Ulrish B. Phillip’s American Negro Slavery said that slaveholders were kind and gracious making the slaves feel content with life. But Frederick Douglass had said from Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass that “We have men-stealers for ministers, women-whippers for missionaries, and cradle-plunderers for church members. The man who wields the blood-clotted cowskin during the week fill the pulpit on Sunday, and claims to be a minister of the meek and lowly Jesus… We have men sold to build churches, women sold to support the gospel, and babes sold to purchase Bibles for the poor heathen! All for the glory of God and the good of souls”. Frederick Douglass was a prominent black member of society. Douglass wanted us to realize that these men and women who call themselves Christians are frauds, and hypocrites! They steal men, whip women, etc. He points out how those who are being accused as thieves and adulterers are being accused by the actual thieves and adulterers. Douglass is trying to attack slavery with an emotion of guilt and pity. As men and women started realizing that slavery was wrong, it spread like the ripples after an apple dropping in water. In 1831, abolitionist William Lloyd Garrison printed out the Liberator, a newspaper that for almost 35 years spoke out against slavery and for the rights of African Americans. Garrison, a leader among American abolitionists, provided his views with conviction, as well as foresight. "Posterity," he had said in the editorial, "will bear testimony that I was right." Although abolitionists did not free any slaves, they raised the nation’s consciences about the moral evils of slavery and their actions definitely helped lead to the action of the Civil War.
Three more body paragraphs and a conclusion left.
Let's get it done!
Monday, November 8, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
I actually feel this way.
IB is starting to finally get difficult and it's scaring me just alittle.
My hardest classes:
IB Japanese
IB Psych
IB Physics
My favorite Classes:
IB Psych
IB Physics
IB Calculus
Grades:
You don't want to know. Gahz. I need to pick it up. I have 1 week and 3 more days until the quarter ends. :O And I'm just so scared that I won't at least bring up my B's up to an A- because when they average out for Semeseter they've got to be A's. GRAWRZ! I only have 3 A's right now so let's do this, Nikki!
I'm really trying to build a relationship with my brother he deserves it and I feel really bad for him. I love my brother so much. Goodness. Hope all goes well!:]
My hardest classes:
IB Japanese
IB Psych
IB Physics
My favorite Classes:
IB Psych
IB Physics
IB Calculus
Grades:
You don't want to know. Gahz. I need to pick it up. I have 1 week and 3 more days until the quarter ends. :O And I'm just so scared that I won't at least bring up my B's up to an A- because when they average out for Semeseter they've got to be A's. GRAWRZ! I only have 3 A's right now so let's do this, Nikki!
I'm really trying to build a relationship with my brother he deserves it and I feel really bad for him. I love my brother so much. Goodness. Hope all goes well!:]
Sunday, October 10, 2010
True Calling.
I hate when I feel like not doing my homework. Like right now I know I have tons to do but I just don't feel like doing it. I feel like failing it and being like those non-achievers. What is my calling? Why do I think the way I think? Why am I who I am? I'm so hyper as of now and I don't know why. I hate having unanswered questions.
Basically I had a really good church today, saw ateehJulzen again, and then went home and took a nap. Then Watson came over and we did homework from 3-7:30. After he left I just chilled up until now procrastinating because I refuse to do any of my homework. I don't know if it's because I started my period about and hour and a half ago. The first 24 hours of my period I feel very... Crazy.
My head is spinning and my blood is pumping. I feel like hurdling 300m, but unfortunately it is already evening and I don't think I can do that. I think I'm actually not going to do any of my homework tomorrow, and act totally WEIRD tomorrow also. It's my choice for procrastinating and not doing my work and that's perfectly fine with me anyways.:D
I miss AB.:[
Basically I had a really good church today, saw ateehJulzen again, and then went home and took a nap. Then Watson came over and we did homework from 3-7:30. After he left I just chilled up until now procrastinating because I refuse to do any of my homework. I don't know if it's because I started my period about and hour and a half ago. The first 24 hours of my period I feel very... Crazy.
My head is spinning and my blood is pumping. I feel like hurdling 300m, but unfortunately it is already evening and I don't think I can do that. I think I'm actually not going to do any of my homework tomorrow, and act totally WEIRD tomorrow also. It's my choice for procrastinating and not doing my work and that's perfectly fine with me anyways.:D
I miss AB.:[
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Homework for the Weekend.
My family are the most wonderful people. My Mum had an emotional breakdown so I've been staying with her the whole time since she's gotten home comforting her. Now the family's watching a movie in the living room and tears come to my eyes on how lucky I am to have them with me. Sighs.
- Japanese Translation Pg 1 and 2
- Kanji-Hiragana Overview
- Read Module 6 of Psych Book
- Douglass Questions&Packet
- Takehome Physics Exam
- Problems for Physics Chapter 3-5
- RRJs for English (3)
- Calculus HW
That's how we go!
No one understands me in my passion for learning. I love school. Not because I get to see my friends, or do extra curricular activities, but the learning just makes my day a whole lot brighter. I love being taught new things every day and being able to put to use the knowlege I've learned. It may make me nerdy, but I'm proud. I don't even know why I'm doing IB, I could care less about the freaking college credit or whatever. Ever since I was a kid, my parents have always raised me to care about my grades and do work. I learned from children's movies that you need to do things because you want to. I couldn't quit school, so I turned to learning as something reliable I could do. There are five things in life I can rely on that will always help me in whatever situation I find myself in or etc: my family, food, praying, God, and intelligence.
Dream Guy: Smarter than me.
Going to get to work. Let's go, Stanford!
Heroes of the Day: Julzen B, Jordan A, and Allan B.
Remembering: Mara A, Lauren C, Natrice L.
Miss: Emmalyn L, Alison B, Jaimee M, Anre N, Marque L.
What is love?
The very question that haunts my existence. I am a teenage girl who's survived through too much. What I remember most about growing up that has led to this very moment is that faith all you need in any circumstance. I've always wanted so much, and has strived for those things, but the one thing that I've wanted that I strived for was love; and incoincidentally it is the one thing I haven't had.
Tears fall from my face when I think about how I was in love with Von. I was stupid, and weak at the heart. I groveled for three years, and I can't take it back. I was immature to believe that someone like me could even fall in love, and the fact that I thought I'd be lonely forever and that there'd be no one ever to make me happy trapped me into the pit of despair. I did love Von, but to this very day I still don't even know who he is. And I want to cry because what exactly is love? In my very heart I believe it to be of the most sincerest emotion, with such evanescence of the mind, and peace of the soul. Isn't love tweeting of brids in the spring air, or the caring wisp of a river? I don't even know and that makes me scared. I'm not meant for love, but that makes me hypocritical because I have faith that everyone has the ability to love. The reason I can still settle with other guys, or find another heart is because I'm still searching for him. I'm scared I'll just pass him, or walk right past him and I won't even see him.
Love has made me bitter.
Love has made me forget what it's like to believe in a man.
Love has helped me get through the tougest breaks.
Love has made me believe you can fly.
But there's a catch to love; happiness. You can love someone and not be happy. Or you could be happy and not love them. Is there any way God can bless us with both? I pray to God almost every night that I will blessed with a happy love.
You know what makes me sad? How people in the pursuit of love, allow themselves to get hurt. I never knew my Mum felt the way she felt.. I thought she was happy. But I was wrong. Why do people hurt each other? Why they make others cry or make them mad? That's not love. That's horror. The people of God deserve so much yet we abuse the abilities that He bestows onto us. I will stop crying right now. I will keep my eyes forward, ears open, and heart ready. I will pray tonight.
W/Love,
MNM.
Tears fall from my face when I think about how I was in love with Von. I was stupid, and weak at the heart. I groveled for three years, and I can't take it back. I was immature to believe that someone like me could even fall in love, and the fact that I thought I'd be lonely forever and that there'd be no one ever to make me happy trapped me into the pit of despair. I did love Von, but to this very day I still don't even know who he is. And I want to cry because what exactly is love? In my very heart I believe it to be of the most sincerest emotion, with such evanescence of the mind, and peace of the soul. Isn't love tweeting of brids in the spring air, or the caring wisp of a river? I don't even know and that makes me scared. I'm not meant for love, but that makes me hypocritical because I have faith that everyone has the ability to love. The reason I can still settle with other guys, or find another heart is because I'm still searching for him. I'm scared I'll just pass him, or walk right past him and I won't even see him.
Love has made me bitter.
Love has made me forget what it's like to believe in a man.
Love has helped me get through the tougest breaks.
Love has made me believe you can fly.
But there's a catch to love; happiness. You can love someone and not be happy. Or you could be happy and not love them. Is there any way God can bless us with both? I pray to God almost every night that I will blessed with a happy love.
You know what makes me sad? How people in the pursuit of love, allow themselves to get hurt. I never knew my Mum felt the way she felt.. I thought she was happy. But I was wrong. Why do people hurt each other? Why they make others cry or make them mad? That's not love. That's horror. The people of God deserve so much yet we abuse the abilities that He bestows onto us. I will stop crying right now. I will keep my eyes forward, ears open, and heart ready. I will pray tonight.
W/Love,
MNM.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Psychology Results!
Extroversion results were very high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Neuroticism results were moderately low which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Psychoticism results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).
I like this. Haha.
I feel very positive right now!
Watashi was totemo genki desu!
Neuroticism results were moderately low which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Psychoticism results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).
I like this. Haha.
I feel very positive right now!
Watashi was totemo genki desu!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Looking Up.
I'M GOING TO DO IT! I'm sick of doubts, distractions, and distresses. I'm going to keep heading in the direction my head's turning.
My Priorities:
My Worries:
To-Do List:
My Priorities:
- Church Organist/Choir Member [Need to start practicing organ every day as I train to become an adult choir organist]
- Studies [IB Diploma Candidate so I can't really slack and just deal with all 6 IB Classes and enjoy it]
- Family [Chores, DownTime]
- E.C. Activities [KeyClub, VidProdClub, NHS, FAC, and Drama]
- Piano Teacher [7 Students; Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday]
- Social Circles [Hangouts almost every Friday and Sunday night]
My Worries:
- Friends; will they think I'm too busy?
- Lala; What a loser. I just want to end it with you.
- Inny; He's original, but a nonnie.:[
To-Do List:
- Step it up in Key Club as Secretary.
- Bond with more schools in Division 32.
- Finish guide book for FAC.
- Become more organized in VidProdClub.
Occupation:
- Electrical Engineering
- Physician Assistant
- News Anchor
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Basically.
It's been one week and a day into IB Diploma Junior Year, yet I still haven't bought my new diary. Gahz, I should've bought it long time ago for preparation. Anyways, I've loved it so far and the only downside is that I've been sick since last Friday night and so it's been almost a week. GAHZ. But it's okieeeee.
I'm going to nickname this one guy; Lala. Lala apparently likes me. But what the heck? He's so confusing. On the phone or on FB or text he's pretty expressive about himself. Then in person or having real contact, he just gets weird, shy, or just I guess awkward. And that makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't know. I also forgot what it's like to like someone who's a member and kind of long-distance. Though I didn't think it'd be this hard! If he talked to me at least every day for not even that long, and maybe left a text here and there I'd be fine. But I never know what's going on with him, what he's doing, or get to tell him what's up with me! Not trying to sound clingy but it feels so... Off. Why do I keep doubting myself that he likes me, I'm like nervous about it. I want to ask and confirm but I've already done it like six times. But I don't believe him... I guess I want proof. What is it though that I want to see? I don't want to hear anything, I want to see something. Maybe he come and see me, but he wouldn't do that. Or I don't know. Then I talk to all my guy friends so comfortably and this random guy who'll we'll nickname Inny. Ahaha, I like nicknames. I just feel like venting I guess. I'm hanging out with Inny tomorrow and I've only met him once which was for like ten minutes, and yet he's texted me almost every day since he got my number. And we're only friends.
LALA: I like you. And I miss you, but I don't know what to do with you because you make me feel nervous or something. I just want to hang out with you and talk to you at a consistent pace, but I don't know. I'll talk to you about this when we can.
Anyways gotta go read Ch.4 the Great Gatsby!
I'm going to nickname this one guy; Lala. Lala apparently likes me. But what the heck? He's so confusing. On the phone or on FB or text he's pretty expressive about himself. Then in person or having real contact, he just gets weird, shy, or just I guess awkward. And that makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't know. I also forgot what it's like to like someone who's a member and kind of long-distance. Though I didn't think it'd be this hard! If he talked to me at least every day for not even that long, and maybe left a text here and there I'd be fine. But I never know what's going on with him, what he's doing, or get to tell him what's up with me! Not trying to sound clingy but it feels so... Off. Why do I keep doubting myself that he likes me, I'm like nervous about it. I want to ask and confirm but I've already done it like six times. But I don't believe him... I guess I want proof. What is it though that I want to see? I don't want to hear anything, I want to see something. Maybe he come and see me, but he wouldn't do that. Or I don't know. Then I talk to all my guy friends so comfortably and this random guy who'll we'll nickname Inny. Ahaha, I like nicknames. I just feel like venting I guess. I'm hanging out with Inny tomorrow and I've only met him once which was for like ten minutes, and yet he's texted me almost every day since he got my number. And we're only friends.
LALA: I like you. And I miss you, but I don't know what to do with you because you make me feel nervous or something. I just want to hang out with you and talk to you at a consistent pace, but I don't know. I'll talk to you about this when we can.
Anyways gotta go read Ch.4 the Great Gatsby!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Let today ring into the hearts of many men.
I'm on the last day of summer and I'm striving to get it all done. Sighs. I can do it.
Hey you! Yeah, you! Come see me.. you make me nervous.:[
Hello IB Diploma.
Hey you! Yeah, you! Come see me.. you make me nervous.:[
Hello IB Diploma.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I LOVE THEM.
My Best Friends; Alison, Natrice, Lauren, and I just prayed. It's too good. We slept at like 6am last night. Laurie had to mute herself from laughing! Today Nat and Ally hung out with me today dude. I can't wait for Ally's birthday on Monday!:D
Thursday, July 29, 2010
How?
How did I lose track of time and realize that the things lost are the most precious things to me? I've grown apart from a handful of people who've made my life such a better place to live in haha. And I've given up on some things that tore my heart apart.
Then there's my current reality. With people I'm trying to fight for to stay beside me. AlisonB has been a best friend I've never had, we think the same things, we believe in the same reasons to be alive, and want to literally grow old together. LaurenC has never hesitated to hold my hand, or let me cry on her shoulder, and I've never hesitated to do the same. JaimeeLM is the best cousin I've ever had and I wish nothing could've severed our connection, but no matter what we'll always be in each other's lives because of the blood flowing in our veins. NatriceL never gives up trying to make me smile and always can be counted on as being my bestfriend and because she is who she is I believe she always brings the best out of me. EmmalynL, you remind me of why the Fab6 still breathes and lives, and because of your softness and tender heart you always are there to hold my heart in your hands. MaraA, you've been the key to my heart since 7th grade Tobiason and never have you failed to be yourself and keep from drowning. MaddieS you keep my life bright with sunlight and sunflowers, because of you I can never stop laughing. MeganI, to pay back what I've done for you, you always am here for me as my ear and supervisor and have given me abilities I never knew I was capable of.
Last Dedication even if it might be kind of rocky and weird. You, who has given me the greatest gift of all; hope that love is worthy enough to have me and even if you couldn't give it to me, I know that at least I could find it.
Then there's my current reality. With people I'm trying to fight for to stay beside me. AlisonB has been a best friend I've never had, we think the same things, we believe in the same reasons to be alive, and want to literally grow old together. LaurenC has never hesitated to hold my hand, or let me cry on her shoulder, and I've never hesitated to do the same. JaimeeLM is the best cousin I've ever had and I wish nothing could've severed our connection, but no matter what we'll always be in each other's lives because of the blood flowing in our veins. NatriceL never gives up trying to make me smile and always can be counted on as being my bestfriend and because she is who she is I believe she always brings the best out of me. EmmalynL, you remind me of why the Fab6 still breathes and lives, and because of your softness and tender heart you always are there to hold my heart in your hands. MaraA, you've been the key to my heart since 7th grade Tobiason and never have you failed to be yourself and keep from drowning. MaddieS you keep my life bright with sunlight and sunflowers, because of you I can never stop laughing. MeganI, to pay back what I've done for you, you always am here for me as my ear and supervisor and have given me abilities I never knew I was capable of.
Last Dedication even if it might be kind of rocky and weird. You, who has given me the greatest gift of all; hope that love is worthy enough to have me and even if you couldn't give it to me, I know that at least I could find it.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Day 1
July 1st-2nd, 2010th.
This is going to become my vent of my IB mind. So I've realized that it's time to step it up. Junior and senior year will be at the highest demand for concentration and focus. Today is the first day of the last half of 2010 and it's time to kick it up a notch. I will be writing in here as if it's a log of everything I want to rewrite that I've learned in IB.
Found this IB Physics SL Website: [in my labels for this post]
-Decided to work on the whole first math worksheet. Pretty interesting. Simple algebra 3-4 review.
-N2R: 2pir=circle circumference, pirsquared=circle area.
-Started the graphic organizer on how physics apply to real life.
-This physics website has just prepared an introduction for mechanical physics. So far I've looked into distance vs. displacement, speed vs. velocity, and the averageness of speed and velocity.
-Wow, I was just doing the wrong thing ahha. I thought you have to complete the graphic organizer as you go through the notes but you're actually suppose to fill it out yourself haha. I'm correcting myself as we speak.
-Working on the graphic organizer.
-Mechanical physics are the works through the fields of aerodynamics, space technology, environmental science, etc.
I feel good already dude.
This is going to become my vent of my IB mind. So I've realized that it's time to step it up. Junior and senior year will be at the highest demand for concentration and focus. Today is the first day of the last half of 2010 and it's time to kick it up a notch. I will be writing in here as if it's a log of everything I want to rewrite that I've learned in IB.
Found this IB Physics SL Website: [in my labels for this post]
-Decided to work on the whole first math worksheet. Pretty interesting. Simple algebra 3-4 review.
-N2R: 2pir=circle circumference, pirsquared=circle area.
-Started the graphic organizer on how physics apply to real life.
-This physics website has just prepared an introduction for mechanical physics. So far I've looked into distance vs. displacement, speed vs. velocity, and the averageness of speed and velocity.
-Wow, I was just doing the wrong thing ahha. I thought you have to complete the graphic organizer as you go through the notes but you're actually suppose to fill it out yourself haha. I'm correcting myself as we speak.
-Working on the graphic organizer.
-Mechanical physics are the works through the fields of aerodynamics, space technology, environmental science, etc.
I feel good already dude.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Back2Normal.
Dude, everything feels different but the same at the same time haha.
School is over and I'm really glad to have had Sophomore year finally end. It was one of the most ridonkulous school years EVER! Ahaha. I'm still awaiting my job opening from Mathnasium and so far am chilling at home haha.
Don't have real big plans for the summer except for tons of hangouts, study sessions, Cali in August, and CHURCH!:P Ahaha.
Back to watching Korean Drama.
I <3 the world.
W/Love,
M.N.M.
School is over and I'm really glad to have had Sophomore year finally end. It was one of the most ridonkulous school years EVER! Ahaha. I'm still awaiting my job opening from Mathnasium and so far am chilling at home haha.
Don't have real big plans for the summer except for tons of hangouts, study sessions, Cali in August, and CHURCH!:P Ahaha.
Back to watching Korean Drama.
I <3 the world.
W/Love,
M.N.M.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
On My Break.
Monday, June 14, 2010
The Random Things In My Head.
- Please take care of me!
This is a message from your heart, your most devoted body part, taking blood and making art.
This is a message from your heart, pounding away from the dark, you can thank me for the start. This is a message from your heart. - Sugar cane in the easy morning, what are things like one and lonely?
Hey moo, please forget to fall down. Hey moo, don't you go down.
You are at the top of my lungs drawn to the ones who never are. - Oh, the glory when you ran outside with your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied and you told me not to follow you.
- And Happy New Year with love overflowing, with joy in our hearts for the blessed New Year.
And happy new year to all that is living, to all that is gentle, kind, and forgiving. - It's finals, and I gotta study. KEEP STUDYING!
- HazelnutBritishPeanut= Classy, educational, and relaxed. I can do it.
- Oh mothers let's go down, come on, don't you want to go down, come on mothers, let's go down, down in the river to pray.
- You'll be happy when it's all over, that journey of searching and waiting.
Heroes: Anre, Camillo, Marque, and Sandra.
Friday, June 11, 2010
It's Actually Possible.
They called earlier today.
Dreams actually do come true sometimes.
Tomorrow will be the big day!
Dreams actually do come true sometimes.
Tomorrow will be the big day!
- 7am- Sending Dad off.
- 9am- Combined choir practice.
- 1pm- THE BIG TIME.
- 4pm- Helping Transier's with Als at Graduation.
- 5:30pm- Study Session.
Camillo Massagli.
At the least - 1.
At the most- 11.
We're going to be successful.
WOOT!
How am I going to survive my last two years withyou you?:[
Since your first day of school, we've been hip to the bone.
At the most- 11.
We're going to be successful.
WOOT!
How am I going to survive my last two years withyou you?:[
Since your first day of school, we've been hip to the bone.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
What does this mean?
I was watching TV and just sitting here. My parents have the whole cliche dream that I'm going to be a doctor or a lawyer. Sighs. And I was wondering when did I want to be those things? Ever since I could remember I've always wanted to be a doctor. Since I started school I think. Because well, that's what my parents put in my head. Now I'm thinking, "Do I really want to do that? Do I want to be that? It's my life, isn't it?" Right?
There's always been some kind of secret passion I've had. If those prestigious jobs were ever to fail, I'd want to find myself somewhere in the arts... Like film, drama, news, activist, literally something that shows the true colors of my personality. Being a physician assistant or family practitioner will be good pay, but will it be good for me in importance? Sighs. I'll keep all of this in my mind because you know what? My parents have told me everything they've ever told me and I want to follow my dreams.
But what are they?
There's always been some kind of secret passion I've had. If those prestigious jobs were ever to fail, I'd want to find myself somewhere in the arts... Like film, drama, news, activist, literally something that shows the true colors of my personality. Being a physician assistant or family practitioner will be good pay, but will it be good for me in importance? Sighs. I'll keep all of this in my mind because you know what? My parents have told me everything they've ever told me and I want to follow my dreams.
But what are they?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Really?
This is so retarded. I'm tired of peiople thinking they can jsut be mean and accept no consequences from it.
You knwo what? i hate impatience, fighting, annoyances, and just people who aren't considerate of others because you know what? If everyone just stopped for a second to thinki about some other person than themselves, the world wouldn't be in fucking turmoil.
I just... I just wants people to be nice, kind, forgiving, loving. Why do people have to possess bad traits?:[ I don't get it... Sighs. Why do they have to be like that? I love them and how do I tell them.
"Mum, Dad, Mikey, please be nice to each other..."
Like that? Sighs, maybe.
You knwo what? i hate impatience, fighting, annoyances, and just people who aren't considerate of others because you know what? If everyone just stopped for a second to thinki about some other person than themselves, the world wouldn't be in fucking turmoil.
I just... I just wants people to be nice, kind, forgiving, loving. Why do people have to possess bad traits?:[ I don't get it... Sighs. Why do they have to be like that? I love them and how do I tell them.
"Mum, Dad, Mikey, please be nice to each other..."
Like that? Sighs, maybe.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
A Good Day.
-Natrice.
-Alison.
-Chris.
-Ryan.
-Justin.
N: Oh my gosh, dude you're so funny. I can't believe it took you forever to get out of the freaking car. Haha Sorry I was being like pushy and annoying, but I really wanted you to just get out and do it. But I know you don't regret doing it so it's okay. I think it's hecka funny how you were more excited about today than your own birthday! No joke haha. I loved spending time with you and making your last few days of 15 years old memorable. I'm sorry he's talking to another girl but at least you guys have made up and you know what's up with him. It was a chance you were willing to take. Aha.
A: DUDE!!! I'm so glad we spent day with each other. I had hecka fun. We need more of these days. I'm so glad we were able to hang out, laugh, eat food, share some old memories. Sorry if J and I had those inside jokes and I never told you about the blackberry thing! Truthfully, it was because it's kind of embarassing, right?... Haha I don't think I've ever told anyone about it. I think we sing better than J. Ahahahahaahhaa.
C: Nice job being the middle man today. I thought you were pretty weird at first, but you turned out to be really good afterwards haahha.
R: Guy, get 'em. I think you should leave that other girl and go for N. :D
J: Honestly, you are one of like the five guys I'm compeltely comfortable with and I'm very thankful to you for that. After the long ride you stayed over by eating din din with the fam, watching Paranormal Activity, helped me fix my hymns, and talked for like two and a half hours. I'm glad that even if we're exes, we're still really good friends. Thanks, J!
God: Thank you for this beautiful, blissful, and bawbsome day.
-Alison.
-Chris.
-Ryan.
-Justin.
N: Oh my gosh, dude you're so funny. I can't believe it took you forever to get out of the freaking car. Haha Sorry I was being like pushy and annoying, but I really wanted you to just get out and do it. But I know you don't regret doing it so it's okay. I think it's hecka funny how you were more excited about today than your own birthday! No joke haha. I loved spending time with you and making your last few days of 15 years old memorable. I'm sorry he's talking to another girl but at least you guys have made up and you know what's up with him. It was a chance you were willing to take. Aha.
A: DUDE!!! I'm so glad we spent day with each other. I had hecka fun. We need more of these days. I'm so glad we were able to hang out, laugh, eat food, share some old memories. Sorry if J and I had those inside jokes and I never told you about the blackberry thing! Truthfully, it was because it's kind of embarassing, right?... Haha I don't think I've ever told anyone about it. I think we sing better than J. Ahahahahaahhaa.
C: Nice job being the middle man today. I thought you were pretty weird at first, but you turned out to be really good afterwards haahha.
R: Guy, get 'em. I think you should leave that other girl and go for N. :D
J: Honestly, you are one of like the five guys I'm compeltely comfortable with and I'm very thankful to you for that. After the long ride you stayed over by eating din din with the fam, watching Paranormal Activity, helped me fix my hymns, and talked for like two and a half hours. I'm glad that even if we're exes, we're still really good friends. Thanks, J!
God: Thank you for this beautiful, blissful, and bawbsome day.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Dude!
I thought today would be the worst day ever. But the second I got on stage for my induction for the NHS ceremony, I gained all confidence back.
From the beginning of Rhythm for Relief all until the end I know inside myself that I'll be fine.
Btw, I lost my phone backstage in the KM PAC. So if you try and contact me there, it won't work. Sighs. Back to eating dinner, and doing homework. WOOT!
With Love,
M.N.M.
From the beginning of Rhythm for Relief all until the end I know inside myself that I'll be fine.
Btw, I lost my phone backstage in the KM PAC. So if you try and contact me there, it won't work. Sighs. Back to eating dinner, and doing homework. WOOT!
With Love,
M.N.M.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Review Summary.
Thursday: FAC through a super amazing birthday celebration. Pamela gave me a tear-jerking speech. Everyone brought food, and they even kicked out people who aren't FAC or allowed to be there haha. Pamela's going to be a strong leader when she grows up, she's like a mini-me. Hahaha. Announced the new officers; Ronald&Kerlyn for Co-Ps, Charlene for Secretary, Pamela for Treasurer, and Angelo for VidProducer. That bday party was the first time anyone ever planned anything for me. Ahaha. Then went to Deveon's Grandma's house for the first time. Played games on iTouch, ate dinner, and taught Keith.
Friday: Spent whole day with Family in Seattle, went to the Symphony Orchestra (Dude! I want to learn how to play cello!), came home and went straight to cleaning the house and partied the rest of the night with my freaking amazing Tech Friends and KW Girls. Hahaha. Dude, we played Limbo, opened presents, said one thing people liked and didn't like about me, and ate food. Oh yeah and the Tale of Desperaux! Haha. Then parents canceled the me going to the beach to count down with Kuya but it's all good. But the worse part came right before midnight... Which is something else...
Saturday: Woke up feeling kinda sad because of that thing but it's all good. Because "___________" happened, screaming and arguing happened the whole morning and afternoon. Deveon came over to cheer me up and we hung out playing Monopoly the rest of the day until I left for church. WHOO, CHURCH!
Sunday: Church, church, Lauren, Saturation Drive, Binhi Mtg, BEAST VID!, Bday Party, Basketball Practice, Bday Party, Exhaustion.
Monday: Horrible day. No comment.
Tuesday: Great Day.
Wednesday: Great Day. Aced Kanji Test!
Thursday: I love FAC.
TODAY! Can't wait for the GEM!:D
Friday: Spent whole day with Family in Seattle, went to the Symphony Orchestra (Dude! I want to learn how to play cello!), came home and went straight to cleaning the house and partied the rest of the night with my freaking amazing Tech Friends and KW Girls. Hahaha. Dude, we played Limbo, opened presents, said one thing people liked and didn't like about me, and ate food. Oh yeah and the Tale of Desperaux! Haha. Then parents canceled the me going to the beach to count down with Kuya but it's all good. But the worse part came right before midnight... Which is something else...
Saturday: Woke up feeling kinda sad because of that thing but it's all good. Because "___________" happened, screaming and arguing happened the whole morning and afternoon. Deveon came over to cheer me up and we hung out playing Monopoly the rest of the day until I left for church. WHOO, CHURCH!
Sunday: Church, church, Lauren, Saturation Drive, Binhi Mtg, BEAST VID!, Bday Party, Basketball Practice, Bday Party, Exhaustion.
Monday: Horrible day. No comment.
Tuesday: Great Day.
Wednesday: Great Day. Aced Kanji Test!
Thursday: I love FAC.
TODAY! Can't wait for the GEM!:D
Monday, May 17, 2010
Okie.
So I've just noticed that after I read any of my blog entries it doens't sound like me. How can I make the things I type out sound like what's going on in my head? I haven't been very thoughtful in Blogger. Dude, I need to start actually writing what's in my mind hahahaha.
So currently I'm working on Fisher's project. I actually like it because I'm finally researching thigns that are given to me in straightforward directions and feel like I'm learning. Plus my topic is perfect for what I want to look at; the Health Care Crisis!! Hahahaha.
My weekend was pretty okay.
Friday; Yugioh Tournie, Basketball Practice.
Saturday; Home, TalkW/Mum, Pedicure, Church.
Sunday; Church, Church, Bball Practice, FeelingSickatHome, VAJA.
I noticed this morning that I can't hold grudges... I'll get mad and frustrated for like 14 minutes straight and vent in my head or to someone, then completely get over it. Unless someone brings that painful event again and wants to talk about it, then that frustration builds again ahha. I'm like counting down to when school ends. I need to pick up my grades, dude! No joke. Haha. Gotta bring up Fisher's and Coble's then I got all A's and A-'s. Goodness gracious.
On a Personal Note:
GONNA BE the 1-6 this SATURDAY! WOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
So currently I'm working on Fisher's project. I actually like it because I'm finally researching thigns that are given to me in straightforward directions and feel like I'm learning. Plus my topic is perfect for what I want to look at; the Health Care Crisis!! Hahahaha.
My weekend was pretty okay.
Friday; Yugioh Tournie, Basketball Practice.
Saturday; Home, TalkW/Mum, Pedicure, Church.
Sunday; Church, Church, Bball Practice, FeelingSickatHome, VAJA.
I noticed this morning that I can't hold grudges... I'll get mad and frustrated for like 14 minutes straight and vent in my head or to someone, then completely get over it. Unless someone brings that painful event again and wants to talk about it, then that frustration builds again ahha. I'm like counting down to when school ends. I need to pick up my grades, dude! No joke. Haha. Gotta bring up Fisher's and Coble's then I got all A's and A-'s. Goodness gracious.
On a Personal Note:
GONNA BE the 1-6 this SATURDAY! WOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Light In My Eyes Pt. 2.
My eyes have opened to something new. I went to my guidance counselor this morning when I thought all was lost. If if weren't for Mrs. Howlett, I would've broken down in the middle of Mr. Rush's classroom and wouldn't have been able to stop crying. Afterwards, I went to find an old friend, and felt so much as even ground and ease being around her and even him. Sighs. I need to talk to my Mum, and stop keeping things inside.
Haha, gotta get ready for the Scenic Hill Elementary Field Trip!:]
Hopefully I'll come in time for the League Meet.
W.W.H.A.P. T.H.E. O. W.I.T.T. W. A.
Haha, gotta get ready for the Scenic Hill Elementary Field Trip!:]
Hopefully I'll come in time for the League Meet.
W.W.H.A.P. T.H.E. O. W.I.T.T. W. A.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
End of my 4th season in Track
It's finally done. I think we have a couple more practices, but today was my last meet. KM vs. KW and it was a really good meet actually. Haha. I got kind of last in my events but I made a PR on the race that I got last in so that should be a good sign that God's saying "Don't give up! You tried your hardest and that's all that matters." And He's right. Track is literally something I will keep on doing until High School ends. I don't care if I'm good at it, or the fasted or the best, I just love doing what I do. The hurdles makes me feel so great, the running gives me energy, and the training is a great way to use my time.
I'm excited for three things...
I'm excited for three things...
- My birthday: WOOT WOOT! Gonna have like three parties haha.
- End of Sophomore Year: DUDE! Gonna chill during summmeerrrr.
- Beginning of Junior Year: HOLY SNAPZ! I'm about to be an IB Diploma Candidate. Dude, this is probably one of the most exciting things I've ever made a decision to. I don't care how bad people down it, all those who haven't done the Diploma are the oens whoa re all "OOH, you're going to die!" and etc. Well you know what? I'm different, and I know for sure my class is different to. I'm not doing Diploma to get the college credit, or to be with my friends. I'm doing the Diploma for three reasons; closer to school so I won't be outcasted, going to be way more prepared for college, and the International Baccalaurrette (Sp?) program is the top of the top advanced learning you can take in High School and I've never let down an opportunity like this ever since I quit the Gifted Program (totally one of my only regrets). I can't wait for all the things I'm going to learn, the study groups I'm going to have, the funny anxious feeling of exams, and the excited feeling I'll get when I get my scores. I can do it.
I can do it.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
That's Just The Way It Is.
There was a girl in a circle. She felt surrounded by people and smiled. From birth she was born to talk and born to love. And that's just the way she lived her life. In a moment of her childhood she felt lost, almost hated all things, and wanted to kill herself. Although others persuaded her, staff alerted her parents, they think they were the ones to tell her not to die. But God was the one to tell her not to die, and He told her he had another purpose. Her purpose was to live, affect others, perform good works, and to serve Him. If she did all of this, He would bless her and her family. So she did exactly this, to a fresh start on her teenaged year. In this year she still felt lost and turned to a boy. A boy that made her feel slightly different in a hazy red way. She saw a lost spectrum in his hazy red and told herself he would be one who could be here for her. Her sisters would fight, and dramatize one another which is something the girl didn't like but couldn't help but love her sisters. There was nothing she could do but try her best to keep them together; like white school glue. This boy soon became her almost everything but he couldn't give her what she thought she wanted the most; real commitment. His name for now will be the Unwilling. It ended and when it ended this deep slash was ripped in her heart and she felt like something was missing. There was only one other boy she liked while she with the other and we'll call him the Unseen.
After the Unwilling, she just went through boy after boy feeling like she was floating along the way. The several could not treat her well, and that was bad. Until the Unseen stepped into her life and it had to stay that way. The joy and pain was equaled throughout the neverending process of love and hate. The girl tried her hardest and no one could relate to her and she felt no one wanted to listen. Though in her life always, people needed her everywhere, from this place to the other. When someone said, "I'm so tired. Oh my gosh, life sucks." She would secretly whisper to her ownself, "Why say that you, fool? You are so lucky. You look better happier than moping around. Try and be me." Though the girl did things for others, scarcely was the favor returned. She continued on her quest that God had given her by always treating others the way she wanted to be treated, training herself to be the best leader she could be, and completing each task that was asked of her. When she thought her life was about to end, her life always started once again whether she liked it or not. Now the suicide problem became different, she can't die because she is nothing, the reason she can't die because she is of too much importance for others' lives. And her life continued
She change for everyone, it didn't seem like that but it is. She had to be a certain way for people to feel a certain feeling. She's always had her motives and reasons. The problem was she was too good at everything, to good at making people feel good and helping them with their successes. So many others owe her food, money, and clothing that it feels weird knowing that they make it a grand deal when she doens't return their food, money, and clothing. Good fights she's won, assignments she's conquered, missions that have proved to be well commissioned. But none of this made her feel that great if it wasn't for the glory of God or herself. But soon through life she couldn't tell what was for the Glory of God or herself. She confused herself in later teenage years that it was for others, for mothers, for fathers, for workers around her. The ring around her named Sanity weakened and when she told someone what was wrong, they'd respond robotically with "You'll be fine" or their own minor judgement. She despised negative criticism, but what can she do? There was no choice but to nod her head and take their advice. Those mothers and fathers were clueless of her actions, her decisions, her motives for life. They were too happy basking in the successes of the pressured child. The mothers nagged, the fathers pushed on, the advisors called and called, the playmates complained and muttered, and the workers whispered the words they would never say to the girl's face. Through this she could never forget her mind or heart.
She forced herself against every circumstance to deny her feelings for the Unseen. Then the day came where her mind created a gicantic black block around the Unseen in her head and heart, and it worked for days after that. Today's the day she realized that everyone always wanted her to hear them, to help them, to give them her attention. Today's the day she grew epiphany one after the other. But what can she do? Tell people? Tell who? Why should she complain and be sad if she has a good life? No one would want to understand. No one is willing to because they are concentrated on the natural fixated emotions they have against her and feelings they have of their own lives that they are just waiting. But that seems about right, because the girl realized today that that's just the way it is.
After the Unwilling, she just went through boy after boy feeling like she was floating along the way. The several could not treat her well, and that was bad. Until the Unseen stepped into her life and it had to stay that way. The joy and pain was equaled throughout the neverending process of love and hate. The girl tried her hardest and no one could relate to her and she felt no one wanted to listen. Though in her life always, people needed her everywhere, from this place to the other. When someone said, "I'm so tired. Oh my gosh, life sucks." She would secretly whisper to her ownself, "Why say that you, fool? You are so lucky. You look better happier than moping around. Try and be me." Though the girl did things for others, scarcely was the favor returned. She continued on her quest that God had given her by always treating others the way she wanted to be treated, training herself to be the best leader she could be, and completing each task that was asked of her. When she thought her life was about to end, her life always started once again whether she liked it or not. Now the suicide problem became different, she can't die because she is nothing, the reason she can't die because she is of too much importance for others' lives. And her life continued
She change for everyone, it didn't seem like that but it is. She had to be a certain way for people to feel a certain feeling. She's always had her motives and reasons. The problem was she was too good at everything, to good at making people feel good and helping them with their successes. So many others owe her food, money, and clothing that it feels weird knowing that they make it a grand deal when she doens't return their food, money, and clothing. Good fights she's won, assignments she's conquered, missions that have proved to be well commissioned. But none of this made her feel that great if it wasn't for the glory of God or herself. But soon through life she couldn't tell what was for the Glory of God or herself. She confused herself in later teenage years that it was for others, for mothers, for fathers, for workers around her. The ring around her named Sanity weakened and when she told someone what was wrong, they'd respond robotically with "You'll be fine" or their own minor judgement. She despised negative criticism, but what can she do? There was no choice but to nod her head and take their advice. Those mothers and fathers were clueless of her actions, her decisions, her motives for life. They were too happy basking in the successes of the pressured child. The mothers nagged, the fathers pushed on, the advisors called and called, the playmates complained and muttered, and the workers whispered the words they would never say to the girl's face. Through this she could never forget her mind or heart.
She forced herself against every circumstance to deny her feelings for the Unseen. Then the day came where her mind created a gicantic black block around the Unseen in her head and heart, and it worked for days after that. Today's the day she realized that everyone always wanted her to hear them, to help them, to give them her attention. Today's the day she grew epiphany one after the other. But what can she do? Tell people? Tell who? Why should she complain and be sad if she has a good life? No one would want to understand. No one is willing to because they are concentrated on the natural fixated emotions they have against her and feelings they have of their own lives that they are just waiting. But that seems about right, because the girl realized today that that's just the way it is.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Love.
It's all around us is what I think. In the eyes of my mother, the laugh of my dad, the walk in my brother's steps.
Today I was watching him, why is he so great? Although he doesn't do as much as I do (pointing the finger! haha), he tries his hardest. He's the most any young man could do for me, less than I hope for, but more than what I've expected from anyone. He's like a present wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper, and a shimmering bow on the top.
Today was one of the hardest days of my life. We'll call it MGM crisis.
How I responded: Screamed, yelled, acted on emotions.
How I should've responded: Locally I should've kept the embarassment away from my brother and dad. I should've not cried and instead responded in a calm mature way. Domestically I should've kept my tears in at service. I should've kept my math shut to Ka Gerard and smiled to keep my head up high.
Similar Situations: None.
My Opinion: I love her and I promise to pray to God to keep my strength that that'll never happen again. The MGM crisis lasted for 15 hours, and 45 minutes.
Half way done with my crisis project. I hate CWI. "Actually, just the teacher", says the student.
Today I was watching him, why is he so great? Although he doesn't do as much as I do (pointing the finger! haha), he tries his hardest. He's the most any young man could do for me, less than I hope for, but more than what I've expected from anyone. He's like a present wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper, and a shimmering bow on the top.
Today was one of the hardest days of my life. We'll call it MGM crisis.
How I responded: Screamed, yelled, acted on emotions.
How I should've responded: Locally I should've kept the embarassment away from my brother and dad. I should've not cried and instead responded in a calm mature way. Domestically I should've kept my tears in at service. I should've kept my math shut to Ka Gerard and smiled to keep my head up high.
Similar Situations: None.
My Opinion: I love her and I promise to pray to God to keep my strength that that'll never happen again. The MGM crisis lasted for 15 hours, and 45 minutes.
Half way done with my crisis project. I hate CWI. "Actually, just the teacher", says the student.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
My Father.
Dear Dad,
I love you. No matter how old you are or how slow or weird you act, I will always remember everything you've done for me. There are three reasons how I am how I am; Mum, God, and You. Today you turn 25 (what's that backwards? haha), and the 15 years and 10 months and 25 days I've been alive you've been there for me giving my hugs, making me laugh, giving me dreams to have of my future, and to support me as my father. I love you so much it's making me tear up right now because I don't think I ever want to lose you.
You're kind of old and my fear is that you won't be able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day or live to see me have your grandkids. Please, dear God, let my dad live as long as my Lola. I love him so much and wish better things would happen for him... Please grant him a job, please grant him patience, please grant him his sane mind...
I love you, Dad. Please know that... How you are I would never change it any other way. I think I was a tomboy when I was a kid because I secretly wanted to be just like you; hardworking, heaedstrong, and witty. As a child I was a daddy's little girl, and grew up become close to you and Mum. Now I am the despitting image of you and Mum. Mikey and I are so lucky to have you and Mum as our parents. You two have always taught us to be righteous and smart wherever we go. Like I said, I wouldn't have you two any different. I love you guys so much... I'll tell you how much you two mean to me before I sleep. :]
Mahn, I'm about to be on my period, like seriously haha. The food cravings, chocolate urges, mood swings, and weird thoughts haha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!
W/Love,
M.N.M.
I love you. No matter how old you are or how slow or weird you act, I will always remember everything you've done for me. There are three reasons how I am how I am; Mum, God, and You. Today you turn 25 (what's that backwards? haha), and the 15 years and 10 months and 25 days I've been alive you've been there for me giving my hugs, making me laugh, giving me dreams to have of my future, and to support me as my father. I love you so much it's making me tear up right now because I don't think I ever want to lose you.
You're kind of old and my fear is that you won't be able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day or live to see me have your grandkids. Please, dear God, let my dad live as long as my Lola. I love him so much and wish better things would happen for him... Please grant him a job, please grant him patience, please grant him his sane mind...
I love you, Dad. Please know that... How you are I would never change it any other way. I think I was a tomboy when I was a kid because I secretly wanted to be just like you; hardworking, heaedstrong, and witty. As a child I was a daddy's little girl, and grew up become close to you and Mum. Now I am the despitting image of you and Mum. Mikey and I are so lucky to have you and Mum as our parents. You two have always taught us to be righteous and smart wherever we go. Like I said, I wouldn't have you two any different. I love you guys so much... I'll tell you how much you two mean to me before I sleep. :]
Mahn, I'm about to be on my period, like seriously haha. The food cravings, chocolate urges, mood swings, and weird thoughts haha.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!
W/Love,
M.N.M.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
A Speech For You
I never knew what it was like to have an adult who wasn't related to me believe in me. To know that there are others out there who want to look out for me not because I'm their burden or responsibility but because they want to make me better at something they know in their heart I could do. From the middle age to the high age I've traveled and grown stronger, learning how to use my abilities to the fullest. Because they screamed my name, because you screamed my name, I was able to scream my name.
The world turns afoot under my feet when we run, hurdle, vault, jump, or throw. That distinct moment of rightness or wrong is what we feel, but what all of us feel at that second is faith; faith in ourselves. You as our mentors, teachers, wise adults have work hard every day to gather us together and pass on what you have learned in your life. I make stand to tell you simply that even if all of us tell you or know ourselves, we thank you.
Today was great. Had the Liberty HS Invite, and the GIRLS BEASTED! Got second in the whole meet unbelievably, and I GOT MY FIRST MEDAL! For ym 4 by 400 relay. Dang, I sprinted my first race that was a whole lap(400) and did pretty good. Above is just a jurisdiction to what I want to tell my coaches one day. They've done a lot for me and my team. All coaches around should be appreciated! Ahahaha, how hard do you think it is to manage teens on a daily basis depending on your patience level? Haha.
Anyways, had Key Club Mtg with James and Anthony, we talked about everything and preplanned this Wed, the Haiti Yard Sale, and the Installation Banquet. It's starting to be hard to focus on my serious life and my personal life, but I'll manage.
END OF THE QUARTER; THIS THURSDAY!
GNITE!
The world turns afoot under my feet when we run, hurdle, vault, jump, or throw. That distinct moment of rightness or wrong is what we feel, but what all of us feel at that second is faith; faith in ourselves. You as our mentors, teachers, wise adults have work hard every day to gather us together and pass on what you have learned in your life. I make stand to tell you simply that even if all of us tell you or know ourselves, we thank you.
Today was great. Had the Liberty HS Invite, and the GIRLS BEASTED! Got second in the whole meet unbelievably, and I GOT MY FIRST MEDAL! For ym 4 by 400 relay. Dang, I sprinted my first race that was a whole lap(400) and did pretty good. Above is just a jurisdiction to what I want to tell my coaches one day. They've done a lot for me and my team. All coaches around should be appreciated! Ahahaha, how hard do you think it is to manage teens on a daily basis depending on your patience level? Haha.
Anyways, had Key Club Mtg with James and Anthony, we talked about everything and preplanned this Wed, the Haiti Yard Sale, and the Installation Banquet. It's starting to be hard to focus on my serious life and my personal life, but I'll manage.
END OF THE QUARTER; THIS THURSDAY!
GNITE!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Day of Remembrance
I hit several realizations...
- Moment of Lucid Smiles; I served at the Annual Kiwanis Senior Breakfast 7am-10am today with the Key Clubbers. It was amazing. We set up all the tables and served the food. We even "performed" our Key Club cheer in front of all the seniors. I snuck out of the house this morning to go to this event because I forgot to tell my parents, and I didn't want to cancel on James E. Being scared out of my wits, my Mum called my at 9:30 screaming, screaming, screaming. Not because I left, but because I didn't wash the dishes. Interesting, right? Her exact words, "Why the hell did you forget to wash the d*** dishes? You care more about your devotiosn and promises to friends and school events verses your own family and house. Etc." Sighs. I shouldn't have shed any tears, but the truth in her words hurt emotionally.
My thoughts; I'll keep that to myself. - Moment of Athleticism; Had first basketball practice since a year ago. It felt great, but I confounded that it's just like Track, YOU NEED TO WORK GOOD FOR IT! Likewise, I think we had a rough beneficial start today. :D
My thoughts; I'm anxious for the upcoming practices and the tournament itself. - Moment of Boredom; Got home and took a nap for three hours. So woke up around 4:00. Took a shower and felt supremely bored. So I emailed a few teachers asking if I could do any extra research or be prepared for any upcoming assignments. And Fisher responded thank goodness haha. Worked on Reed's trigonometric derivations while watching TV for another three hours. AMAZING! Haha.
My thoughts; I really want to get straight A's for this Semester. It's so close I could taste it. I just have 3 A-'s. They're all close to an A by like 1.4 off each A-. But the thing is I don't really care. Because I really just don't. My teachers are beginning to understand me that way. I told most of them all about it, except Coble and Roller. I love learning, that's why I've never really had straight A's because I didn't focus on the letter grade or percentage accuracy, but made sure that I whatever I turned in I knew exactly what I was turning in, and how I got to that way. I came with a recent realization last week that learning vs. the grade, I'd rather have the learning. The learning is more useful when I'm in college or the real world. I will of course explain that throughly to colleges when I meet the administrators.
Lately, all I can think about the future. Boeing gave me a secret way to keep myself organized. It's called the WIP/OnDeck/Hold List procedure. Haha. I'll explain that later on. I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I have the whole marriage, kids, time management thing already figured out. But the occupation is the only thing screwing up my plans because I'm still not sure what I want to be. And I'm scared. SO scared that I won't be able to figure it out all in time. I want to do something where I can make a mark on either history or be remembered somehwere.
Have you ever been with someone where you weren't with them? This can be defined in two ways. Where two people are together but netiher one of them know that each other's presence is present, or only one person knows of the other person's present. The second one is where the two people have a bond with one another but do not announce a title of the present attraction. This both has to do with presence and non-presence.
i.e. You are reading this blog right now, and I could be reading it too. Interesting, right?
Another matter of subject; the meaning of words. Why do people always say things, promise things, tell you things that they don't even keep to word? If they really wanted wanted to mean what they say, why don't they just do it? Instead of waiting around for others to tell them what they're doing right or wrong. Sighs. I've come across this circumstance many times in my life, and several times this week. Why do you promise me something and then either you break it or not fulfill it!?!?!? You make me wants to cry, obviously though... You already have that sense. You mean so much to me, why would I lie and not mean what I say?
I feel normal again. Haha. After my day of relaxation and boredom. Ahaha. Well on the phone with Deveon, blog another day.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I agree!
http://www.uni.illinois.edu/og/blog/opinions/2008/09/getting-grade-vs-learning
By Recathi Maturi Published: Saturday, September 20, 2008 - 12:10am
As a student I've frequently found myself asking, "Which do I care more about, the grade or learning?"
As much as I would love to answer, "The learning, of course," I think that I truthfully care more about my grade more than actually learning the material.
For tests I tend to memorize dates and flowcharts without understanding why we use that formula or what the significance of the date is. Is that a good thing? Is it better for me to get an A and not remember the material in a year or is it better for me to learn the material eventually but get a C and end up remembering it my whole life?
In today's society I personally find that there is more emphasis placed on the grade than the learning. To be successful one has to go to college, and to go to college one has to have good grades. People don't care about whether you understand the material or not, they just care about how you did on the test.
Some people learn material slower or faster than others, but by the end of the unit everyone is expected to take the test. It doesn't strike me as fair that one's knowledge is supposed to reflect their performance on the test. Not everyone is a good test taker. Some people know everything about the subject, but when they take the test they just don't do as well as they could.
So, I ask you, what do you care more about? What you got on the test or what you learned?
When the World Stops Pt. 2
How can you call yourself what you call yourself?
When you don't even know yourself, but do know yourself.
The thing is, you know what people think of you, but you always wonder to yourself what you think of you.
How can you smile when you're only smiling on your skin?
When you know it's wrong and tell others it's wrong.
The thing is, you know it's wrong and believe others shouldn't do that because it's like you're covering up, but you do it because well you know that you're covering yourself.
I'm tired of it. Of people being retarded, of broken families, of those who judge and throw anxiety to others. I hate it when someone has so much potential and doesn't use the best of their ability to. I'm not saying overwhelm yourself, but try a couple of things. I have a perfect example in my head, I just wish he knew. I don't understand why just some people don't understand or don't even try to. Are you them? Uh, no. Gosh motherchick, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I was so good for the whole of this month, just this week I've felt off, SUPPAAA off. I want to just hang out or pig out, but I got stuff to do and weight to keep down.
I love my family, sitting here in the middle of Ms. Reed's room I'm tearing up and thinking of them. My Mum struggles, my Dad grows cold, my Brother rebels, and I sit.
Dalvyn Morris - "Whatever's wrong, I hope it gets better."
When you don't even know yourself, but do know yourself.
The thing is, you know what people think of you, but you always wonder to yourself what you think of you.
How can you smile when you're only smiling on your skin?
When you know it's wrong and tell others it's wrong.
The thing is, you know it's wrong and believe others shouldn't do that because it's like you're covering up, but you do it because well you know that you're covering yourself.
I'm tired of it. Of people being retarded, of broken families, of those who judge and throw anxiety to others. I hate it when someone has so much potential and doesn't use the best of their ability to. I'm not saying overwhelm yourself, but try a couple of things. I have a perfect example in my head, I just wish he knew. I don't understand why just some people don't understand or don't even try to. Are you them? Uh, no. Gosh motherchick, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore. I was so good for the whole of this month, just this week I've felt off, SUPPAAA off. I want to just hang out or pig out, but I got stuff to do and weight to keep down.
I love my family, sitting here in the middle of Ms. Reed's room I'm tearing up and thinking of them. My Mum struggles, my Dad grows cold, my Brother rebels, and I sit.
Dalvyn Morris - "Whatever's wrong, I hope it gets better."
Friday, March 19, 2010
I love...
Ice cream + Space Jam= Happiness As Of Now. Haha.
My Family, and a special dedication to Alison BEE!
My Family, and a special dedication to Alison BEE!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Cherishing the Day.
So I've got tell you something. I have high hopes for myself. I'm starting to read newspaper articles online every day, going over SAT and SAT subject questions every day with Deveon and by myself. I've come to really realize and be hit that I am nothing without God. I'm on my own in this world surrounded by people. But I'm not me without His help. He's the one who grants me the knowledge, wisdom, and talent that I need. He's brought me all the blessings and needs that I've prayed for. My Mum's right... He's kind and forgiving. Deveon's right... he's merciful and loves His children no matter what.
I'm starting to feel sick though. Gahz, working on Binhi poster and going to take a shower soon. I've played three games of Monopoly straight and won! I keep winning so I gave myself a new goal; earn a net worth of 60 and over. That's my new goal. Haha. I've tooken 20 pictures of my Monopoly wins. I'm a loser. WOOT!
Current Heros: Parokya ni Edgar. (KSD blocked playlist.=[)
I'm starting to feel sick though. Gahz, working on Binhi poster and going to take a shower soon. I've played three games of Monopoly straight and won! I keep winning so I gave myself a new goal; earn a net worth of 60 and over. That's my new goal. Haha. I've tooken 20 pictures of my Monopoly wins. I'm a loser. WOOT!
Current Heros: Parokya ni Edgar. (KSD blocked playlist.=[)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Blood
It drips down my cold brown skin.
In the light, it looks almost pink.
It was inside of me, and now it's not because it chose to ooze out.
But I know, deep down, that I need it, and it wants to stay in me.
I take a look at the IV bag and wonder if I should just cut it.
Then the light comes down through my window and I look.
It's bright, it's almost an angelic soft tone of cardinal yellow and marshamallow white.
I believe I can still live today.
Can you?
In the light, it looks almost pink.
It was inside of me, and now it's not because it chose to ooze out.
But I know, deep down, that I need it, and it wants to stay in me.
I take a look at the IV bag and wonder if I should just cut it.
Then the light comes down through my window and I look.
It's bright, it's almost an angelic soft tone of cardinal yellow and marshamallow white.
I believe I can still live today.
Can you?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Unearthing My Upside
Today was great.
-Woke up at a great time.
-Practiced organ.
-Watched the birds.
-Made breakfast.
-Performed Children's Worship Service.
-Giggled with Jaimes.
-Played with Gwennie.
-Joked with Von and Pat.
Now onto the best parts of today...
-NEW PHONE, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Motorola Blur, sonn. Haha.
-Open House of the new chapel. I can't believe that finally, just finally, we have our own place. We bonded, some cried, some laughed, some felt uncomfortable, some haven't even realized it yet. But we know for sure that we are happy nad grateful. The Locale of Kent is actually older than I am. Thank goodness, that's a long time. Haha. There's a guarantee of transfers to our locale once we start performing there. I have some new set goals for the place, too! But I'll keep that to myself for now. The place is beautiful, without the dirty shrubs, funny korean characters [sorry sandisan! haha], huge cracked cross, and just remnants from the people before us. Although today we dishonored it... Long story, not sure if I'm allowed to type it, but hopefully we'll remember not to do that again. Aha.
-Bonding with my family. Today, my bro, Mum, and I had a serious talk in the car and at Safeway. Sighs. So I'm really not a jealous person because Mum taught me how to appreciate all things especially the simpler things in life, but there's only one person I've truly been envious about. And I told my Mum and brother today. That conversation changed my outlook on how I treasure family. You might not get what I'm saying, but it's all good. Haha. I get what I'm saying. I love my family, even if we fight, even if we exchange yells or weird words, we always get over it after like two minutes. The thing I love about family fights or any fight really is the making up. WOOT! But I wouldn't mind no fights haha.
Well, back to doing homework and watching the Oscars. Dude, school's really starting to look good again. WOOT! Pre-Calc's fun, Gameboard's finished, Thesis Chart finished, and Japanese, well I'm working on it.
TIME TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With Love,
M.N.M.
-Woke up at a great time.
-Practiced organ.
-Watched the birds.
-Made breakfast.
-Performed Children's Worship Service.
-Giggled with Jaimes.
-Played with Gwennie.
-Joked with Von and Pat.
Now onto the best parts of today...
-NEW PHONE, DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Motorola Blur, sonn. Haha.
-Open House of the new chapel. I can't believe that finally, just finally, we have our own place. We bonded, some cried, some laughed, some felt uncomfortable, some haven't even realized it yet. But we know for sure that we are happy nad grateful. The Locale of Kent is actually older than I am. Thank goodness, that's a long time. Haha. There's a guarantee of transfers to our locale once we start performing there. I have some new set goals for the place, too! But I'll keep that to myself for now. The place is beautiful, without the dirty shrubs, funny korean characters [sorry sandisan! haha], huge cracked cross, and just remnants from the people before us. Although today we dishonored it... Long story, not sure if I'm allowed to type it, but hopefully we'll remember not to do that again. Aha.
-Bonding with my family. Today, my bro, Mum, and I had a serious talk in the car and at Safeway. Sighs. So I'm really not a jealous person because Mum taught me how to appreciate all things especially the simpler things in life, but there's only one person I've truly been envious about. And I told my Mum and brother today. That conversation changed my outlook on how I treasure family. You might not get what I'm saying, but it's all good. Haha. I get what I'm saying. I love my family, even if we fight, even if we exchange yells or weird words, we always get over it after like two minutes. The thing I love about family fights or any fight really is the making up. WOOT! But I wouldn't mind no fights haha.
Well, back to doing homework and watching the Oscars. Dude, school's really starting to look good again. WOOT! Pre-Calc's fun, Gameboard's finished, Thesis Chart finished, and Japanese, well I'm working on it.
TIME TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With Love,
M.N.M.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Highlights of my Beginning
It is all starting to piece together!
- Track!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Overachieving in Pre-CALC
- Self-studying in Japanese
- Fun Gameboard in CWI
- Holy Supper in 4 days
Friday, February 26, 2010
WOOT WOOT!
WE DID IT! MUAH! YESH! FINALLY DONE! WE'RE SO BAWB!
Tonight was Kent-Meridian Technology Academy's Multicultural Night and it was a hit. I was Performance Manager, Cue Director, Balut Eating Contest Mike, and part of the F.A.C. performance. It was amazing. I invited the beautiful Mara and satisfied Trek's needs. Haha. I've missed Mara so much, oh my goodness!!! I'm so glad I got to see her today and surprise peeps. WOOT WOOT! Even though I wasn't able to hang out, I was glad to a part of an event that put smiles and laughs on people's faces
My Favorite Parts:
-When I realized how much I was needed. I'm not overexagerating or anything, but I was called almost everywhere. WOOT WOOT x2!
-Buying the fans; Tanvir agreed to helping me find fans. Dang Cheska told me we'd have them! But it's okay, I talked to her about it. Even though it didn't seem like she was in control, she was just as stressed out as all of us were. Tanvir and I went to Party City, Target, Top Foods, Ross, Jhoann's, and finally Dollar Tree. They all didn't have anything except DOLLAR TREE! I'm so going to go there for everything from now on. Haha.
-Seeing Sandra on stage with her Koreans peoplez, I LOVE HER!!!!! It was super cute with Cindy doing swords, cartwheels, and you know. Haha.
-TINIKLING/CARINOSA performance. Even if I was scared, it happened, and it went very well. I was super happy. We got volunteers like Rykiel, Toby, Lisa M, and MR'HARTLEY! YESH! That part was funny. Haha.
-Balut Eating Contest; Camillo won for the students, Mrs. Drake won for the adults! WOOT!
-Seeing his face in the crowd. :] Worth it.
-Seeing my parents on the side. :D Even more worth it.
-Exhilaration that it was finally over and everyone congratulating me and saying I did a good job. WOOT WOOT x3! Hahahaha.
Track Season starts next Monday. Am I pumped? That's a check to the yesh.
Shout out to Mr. Hartley!:]
Tonight was Kent-Meridian Technology Academy's Multicultural Night and it was a hit. I was Performance Manager, Cue Director, Balut Eating Contest Mike, and part of the F.A.C. performance. It was amazing. I invited the beautiful Mara and satisfied Trek's needs. Haha. I've missed Mara so much, oh my goodness!!! I'm so glad I got to see her today and surprise peeps. WOOT WOOT! Even though I wasn't able to hang out, I was glad to a part of an event that put smiles and laughs on people's faces
My Favorite Parts:
-When I realized how much I was needed. I'm not overexagerating or anything, but I was called almost everywhere. WOOT WOOT x2!
-Buying the fans; Tanvir agreed to helping me find fans. Dang Cheska told me we'd have them! But it's okay, I talked to her about it. Even though it didn't seem like she was in control, she was just as stressed out as all of us were. Tanvir and I went to Party City, Target, Top Foods, Ross, Jhoann's, and finally Dollar Tree. They all didn't have anything except DOLLAR TREE! I'm so going to go there for everything from now on. Haha.
-Seeing Sandra on stage with her Koreans peoplez, I LOVE HER!!!!! It was super cute with Cindy doing swords, cartwheels, and you know. Haha.
-TINIKLING/CARINOSA performance. Even if I was scared, it happened, and it went very well. I was super happy. We got volunteers like Rykiel, Toby, Lisa M, and MR'HARTLEY! YESH! That part was funny. Haha.
-Balut Eating Contest; Camillo won for the students, Mrs. Drake won for the adults! WOOT!
-Seeing his face in the crowd. :] Worth it.
-Seeing my parents on the side. :D Even more worth it.
-Exhilaration that it was finally over and everyone congratulating me and saying I did a good job. WOOT WOOT x3! Hahahaha.
Track Season starts next Monday. Am I pumped? That's a check to the yesh.
Shout out to Mr. Hartley!:]
KMTA MC Night.
Mahn, I'm nervous. Could we put it together? Can we do it?
I keep cracking my knuckles and moving my leg. Gahz. We can do it. I believe in us. But am I the only one? Naw, we all believe we can, right?
GAHZ!
I keep cracking my knuckles and moving my leg. Gahz. We can do it. I believe in us. But am I the only one? Naw, we all believe we can, right?
GAHZ!
Friday, February 19, 2010
What a Day.
I woke up with a resentment in my fragile heart. Right now, I'm super vulnerable. Goodness gracious. I put clothes on, ate breakfast, brushed teeth, popped into Sandisan's car, and went to school. Today was kinda gray, jazz was depressing. Anre and Sandra cheered me up in Chem, Sandra was a helping hand in Japanese, and the way to Math, Deveon came. :] Math was hard though... Because I'm frustrated with Ms. Reed. No comment on it but I have to promise to myself I'm going to study hard for Monday's Trig Test.
Fisher's was a drag with the debate. My eye kept bothering and it was hard taking out the white gunk, but like literally right now my whole left eye is red. GAHZ! Hahahaha. It was sad to look at him... But I had to put a brave face and chill. We got to play Monopoly at the end! That definitely cheered me up. Lunch was calm, I ate with him and we walked around. Trek and Momo threw pennies at us, bwahahaha. Drake's class was TIGHT! I did a fantastic job as the Oracle and had a lively debate with Massagli (Oedipus). I'm super excited for the next couple of days in Drake's class. I'm going for the Best Actress award for our class! Presentation, I think, is one of my strongest abilities. And one of my most faveeeeeees. Hahaha. Skipped down to Transier's and watched an Art Institue lady talk about video production and show us articles. I went to the back fo the library and showed Mr. Transier my CTE Commercial Pitch and blew him away. WOOT! I fell asleep next to him for like 15 minutes. He said something that I will keep to heart, "Maria, you work too hard." As simple as that, he was right. When the last bell rang, I went to Transier's and presented my CTE Pitch to VidProd Club and got filmed. Then Momo and Sandisan and I headed to the bus and left for the mysterious journey I've been waiting for over several months now... Momo had to go home, so that left Sandisan and I. The time I held in my hands with Sandra today was my favorite part of today. It showed to me that Sandra really is one of my truest and bestest friends. We're both not perfect, or 100% there for each other, but we try, and try and try our hardest. I can't wait to live my life day by day able to hold her hand. THANK YOU SANDRA!!!
Progress: I've cried more than I wanted to.. But I'm going to be strong like you said I was. I'm sorry.. For everything. Tomorrow was suppose to be the big Four. But everything will be fine.. Or it won't.
Fisher's was a drag with the debate. My eye kept bothering and it was hard taking out the white gunk, but like literally right now my whole left eye is red. GAHZ! Hahahaha. It was sad to look at him... But I had to put a brave face and chill. We got to play Monopoly at the end! That definitely cheered me up. Lunch was calm, I ate with him and we walked around. Trek and Momo threw pennies at us, bwahahaha. Drake's class was TIGHT! I did a fantastic job as the Oracle and had a lively debate with Massagli (Oedipus). I'm super excited for the next couple of days in Drake's class. I'm going for the Best Actress award for our class! Presentation, I think, is one of my strongest abilities. And one of my most faveeeeeees. Hahaha. Skipped down to Transier's and watched an Art Institue lady talk about video production and show us articles. I went to the back fo the library and showed Mr. Transier my CTE Commercial Pitch and blew him away. WOOT! I fell asleep next to him for like 15 minutes. He said something that I will keep to heart, "Maria, you work too hard." As simple as that, he was right. When the last bell rang, I went to Transier's and presented my CTE Pitch to VidProd Club and got filmed. Then Momo and Sandisan and I headed to the bus and left for the mysterious journey I've been waiting for over several months now... Momo had to go home, so that left Sandisan and I. The time I held in my hands with Sandra today was my favorite part of today. It showed to me that Sandra really is one of my truest and bestest friends. We're both not perfect, or 100% there for each other, but we try, and try and try our hardest. I can't wait to live my life day by day able to hold her hand. THANK YOU SANDRA!!!
Progress: I've cried more than I wanted to.. But I'm going to be strong like you said I was. I'm sorry.. For everything. Tomorrow was suppose to be the big Four. But everything will be fine.. Or it won't.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
A Day of a Head Held High
I have a plan. A plan to make things better. But time needs to do its job right, and we must all have patience. My plan will not take its course now, of course. But we'll do how time deals with life.
ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER SUBJECT.
Mum came home with papers and files saying that I will be a lawyer. Haha. She printed out information, admissions, and qualities that a Harvard Law Student or Yale Law Student needs to know. I started laughing because I bet you she'll change my mind to want to become a lawyer. I love my Mum. She's so caring, fair, and super funny. Hahahahahaha. Maybe not as funny as my dad, though.
On a deeply-thought-out moment: I can't stop glancing at the flowers in the glass vase across from me. They're wilting and petals are starting to fall. Among the yellow flowers, the orange/pink in the middle stands tall. That's like me standing tall against the opposing evil forces. Haha. Thank you for your sweet kindness.
ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER SUBJECT.
Mum came home with papers and files saying that I will be a lawyer. Haha. She printed out information, admissions, and qualities that a Harvard Law Student or Yale Law Student needs to know. I started laughing because I bet you she'll change my mind to want to become a lawyer. I love my Mum. She's so caring, fair, and super funny. Hahahahahaha. Maybe not as funny as my dad, though.
On a deeply-thought-out moment: I can't stop glancing at the flowers in the glass vase across from me. They're wilting and petals are starting to fall. Among the yellow flowers, the orange/pink in the middle stands tall. That's like me standing tall against the opposing evil forces. Haha. Thank you for your sweet kindness.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Life Is Never Too Hard
Day Two into Semester Two.
Bwahaha. So far, so good. Fixed my studying habits and time management! Talked things over with my family, and cleared some stuff up with the boyfriend. :] I'm hyperactive in the morning, I just noticed that. I love going to school. No joke. Classes are tight, I got Sandra in six out of the seven classes I got and I wake up every morning to my warm room. I have high hopes for Semester Two and have faith in myself. My parents really support me and care about the things I do. On Sunday night, I showed my Dad&Mum all my video projects and stuff. I showed them Drake's "One Liar's Begginning" project, and they didn't really get it because they never read the story but that's all good. Then I showed them my Globalization Project, and my dad started laughing SUPER hard when Armann showed up on camera hahaha. "Greeazzyy" in my boyfriend's words. Haha. I showed them my CBA for CWI and they loved it! Then showed them a whole bunch videos from Video Production, the RWR I anchored in, and the Special Tech Expo video that I anchored, too. They told me they're really proud of me. Dude, I've got mad presentation skills, haha. I love getting in front of an audience and just presenting, I wonder if there's another word for that. BWAHAHAHA.
I'm not quite sure what I want to be still. I change my mind like every week literally. This week I've been stuck on News Anchor, Reporter, and Film Producer. Gahz. You should've seen my dad's face when I asked him if I could be one of those. Haha. Someone with the lovely name of Mara told me, "Why are you asking them if that's alright? Isn't it your future?" I told her, "Yeah! You're right, but still.." I'm so excited for the weekend, I got some HUGE plans. BWAHA!
Thoughtfully, M.N.M.
Bwahaha. So far, so good. Fixed my studying habits and time management! Talked things over with my family, and cleared some stuff up with the boyfriend. :] I'm hyperactive in the morning, I just noticed that. I love going to school. No joke. Classes are tight, I got Sandra in six out of the seven classes I got and I wake up every morning to my warm room. I have high hopes for Semester Two and have faith in myself. My parents really support me and care about the things I do. On Sunday night, I showed my Dad&Mum all my video projects and stuff. I showed them Drake's "One Liar's Begginning" project, and they didn't really get it because they never read the story but that's all good. Then I showed them my Globalization Project, and my dad started laughing SUPER hard when Armann showed up on camera hahaha. "Greeazzyy" in my boyfriend's words. Haha. I showed them my CBA for CWI and they loved it! Then showed them a whole bunch videos from Video Production, the RWR I anchored in, and the Special Tech Expo video that I anchored, too. They told me they're really proud of me. Dude, I've got mad presentation skills, haha. I love getting in front of an audience and just presenting, I wonder if there's another word for that. BWAHAHAHA.
I'm not quite sure what I want to be still. I change my mind like every week literally. This week I've been stuck on News Anchor, Reporter, and Film Producer. Gahz. You should've seen my dad's face when I asked him if I could be one of those. Haha. Someone with the lovely name of Mara told me, "Why are you asking them if that's alright? Isn't it your future?" I told her, "Yeah! You're right, but still.." I'm so excited for the weekend, I got some HUGE plans. BWAHA!
Thoughtfully, M.N.M.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Finally Part 2.
It's done! The first semester of Sophomore year, and already half way done with this school year. Onwards to Junior year. :] I'm actually looking forward for this upcoming semester. I can say that a lot of things have changed since the previous year. I always talk to Esther about how each year make life turn into a different perspective. Dang, I miss Freshmen year. But there are some things I don't miss. Hahahha.
GOODNESS GRACIOUS! This week is OVER! Finals are gone. I don't have to face them for another four months, but there's still the Compass Test next monday, the HSPE, the WASL, blahz, etc. Haha. Sophomore year has opened my eyes to a lot of cool new things like new teachers, very interesting classes, unique people, and opportunity gateways for the future.
Let's make a list!
Things That Have Changed:
GOODNESS GRACIOUS! This week is OVER! Finals are gone. I don't have to face them for another four months, but there's still the Compass Test next monday, the HSPE, the WASL, blahz, etc. Haha. Sophomore year has opened my eyes to a lot of cool new things like new teachers, very interesting classes, unique people, and opportunity gateways for the future.
Let's make a list!
Things That Have Changed:
- My Classes. I miss my old freshmen teachers, goodness gracious. Hartley, Egbert, Christiansen, even Kuebker! GAHZ! My teacher of the year for Freshmen year was Mrs. Egbert, this year it's Mr. Transier.
- Filipino-American Club. Mahn, this club, I'm so glad to have become president and helped these kids create memories they can record onto their transcript.
- My Child-like Senses. Every day I feel myself growing up into the person God destined for me to be, minus some minor things. I wake up each morning with a purpose or goal to accomplish, and I always success at that. WOOT WOOT! I feel more reserved and wiser, I don't mean like "Ooh I'm better than you and am cooler" Naw! I mean like just things feel more different. I appreciate more of the things I have. I have incorpated my emotions in the decisions I've made and have worked on being more selfish than selfless. Someone told me that if you always put people in front of you, in the end, you'll be last in line.
- My Friends. DANG! I can say that the people I hang out with and have amazing conversations have changed. I got Anre, Mara, Esther, Jhoann, Joanna, Hao, Deveon, Patrek, Mohamed, Jason, and etc. Thank you, you guys.
- You; I miss you. Things could be back to normal... But we both know it's difficult. I miss your laughter, your smile, your hand to hold, and the insane things we'd talk about at night. I miss you.
Things That Have Stayed The Same:
- The School. KMHS+KMTA IS FRIZZIN' AMAZING! Although I am one person, I agree that I have contributed to this lovely school.
- This blog. I'm still kind of working on how to write out what's on my mind and stay devoted to it on a weekly basis. Please leave comments when you like!
- My Family. Although we've improved a lot on behavior issues, our love for each other has always stayed the same.
- Drive for Track. DUDE! I'm so pschyed for this upcoming Track Season. I really want to focus and actually have a super good year. I'll have Als and hopefully Sandisan and Deveon by my side, and it's going to be a freaking HUGE BLAST!
- Sandisan. Arigatogozaimashita! You have stuck by my side without trying and when I call for you, you run the second I say "I need you." I even miss you right now because I'm so used to seeing you. Hahahaha. You should teach me how to cook Korean food. I'm so proud to have you as a best friend. I know I'm super weird, and you always talk about that, but I KNOW that deep down you love that I'm weird. BWAHAHAHA. x] Sometimes I get mad at you for small things, but I get over it because I love you too much. I'll text you in a few, korean buddy. I hope we did good on our Japanese Final!
Shout-Out To You:
Because of you I was able to realize a lot about myself I never looked at or listened to. You gave me a place in your heart without me asking for it, and been there for me at the times I didn't need or but most especially when I did need you. You opened my eyes to a life I never thought of, more importantly a relationship I only dreamed of having. I treasure the phone convos we talk, the laughs we share on your couch, cooking ramen on your kitchen, arguing about weird stuff, calling you a dork, and my favorite part when we're just with each other and there's pure silence. Thank you, D.R.I.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
About Me.
Here it is. I'm way too confusing for my own good and right now a random person's blog that I found online gave me the idea to write about myself. I hope I make sense. Here I go. I'm still learning how to figure out what battles are actually worth fighting for. I enjoy laughing and smiling more than breathing and without music or knowledge no one would be able to see what makes me, me. Although mostly I love listening, I've been told that I seem to always say the right thing oracley. More than anything else, I feel the need to comfort people no matter the feelings I harbor toward them. I'm "too nice" because I don't see the point in being mean... I'll leave that for those who are liars, fake, and just plain mean. I'm finally in a healthy relationship and I am very much happy. I can't really say I'm content with my life, but it's all good because at times when I am, I really am! I don't like people to judge too quickly, or are blind with anger because I believe that in order to understand something you must know both sides. I love eating all foods especially corn, vegetables, fruits, and chocolate. Although I have a distaste towards liver, and anything with blood. I like feeling like I'm working to accomplish one of my goal and if/when I get there, I get super excited and love rewarding ymself. I'd like to enjoy growing up, but I'm not rushing into anything. I'm working everyday to attain my future and be what i wnat to be. I'm still afraid of rules and self-conscious here and there, but step bys tep I've become more and more happy with how my life is going.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Attaining Amazingness.
Finals next week. What to do? What to do? Gotta study, gotta study. That's all I have to do.
Chemistry+English=Tuesday.
Japanese+PresentHistory=Thursday.
Math+PresentVidProd=Friday.
Goodness gracious, goodness gracious, goodness gracious, here I am.
Implore me that I'll do good and my goals will be fulfilled.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
Just gotta remain hopeful, just gotta remain focal (focused=).
Balance out, breathe in and out, lean forward and back, take a deep breath.
WOOT WOOT!
Finals next week. What to do? What to do? Gotta study, gotta study. That's all I have to do.
p.s. You better leave me alone. If you dare distract me any time next week, I will scream at you no matter how much respect I am suppose to give you. I am not going to be in the mood to tend to your needs or make sure you're okay because yous out of most people probably want me to ace these exams. I'm going to pray every night, sleep early, and get some good meals. Love you and will see you in a few,
M.N.M.
Chemistry+English=Tuesday.
Japanese+PresentHistory=Thursday.
Math+PresentVidProd=Friday.
Goodness gracious, goodness gracious, goodness gracious, here I am.
Implore me that I'll do good and my goals will be fulfilled.
I can do this, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
Just gotta remain hopeful, just gotta remain focal (focused=).
Balance out, breathe in and out, lean forward and back, take a deep breath.
WOOT WOOT!
Finals next week. What to do? What to do? Gotta study, gotta study. That's all I have to do.
p.s. You better leave me alone. If you dare distract me any time next week, I will scream at you no matter how much respect I am suppose to give you. I am not going to be in the mood to tend to your needs or make sure you're okay because yous out of most people probably want me to ace these exams. I'm going to pray every night, sleep early, and get some good meals. Love you and will see you in a few,
M.N.M.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Yo, yo, yo, yippee yay, yippee yo.
Today's a good day.
Better than some days I've had.
But could maybe better.
My friend, my friend, give me a call.
Let's grieve together.
Better than some days I've had.
But could maybe better.
My friend, my friend, give me a call.
Let's grieve together.
Dear Nanay,
I'm going to miss you a lot. It was really awesome having you here. Ever since she got her new job and works two full-time jobs, I forgot what it was like to come home to a house smelling like muffins and cookies. Haha. Even though you were here for only eight days, it felt like two weeks of peace and tranquility. You came, and we all had to behave. I'm glad that you came, po. We were almost falling apart and drifted away completely. You've made my Mum happy, and help my brother in ways we all couldn't. Right now, it's like all the tension has disappeared, but I know it's still there buried deep deep under the crawl space of our house. I love you Nay, I hope your flight is safe. I love you, po! Today was a better day.
I'm proud to be your first grandchild. :D
With Much Love,
Nikki.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
What She Says. What He Says.
She's always been there for me, whether I had so much food on my plate or not.
Savior for Today: Mara A.
She's right! Sighs. I just need to step out of my life for just a moment and vent so I can take out all the cement blocks and bricks that are in my path. I've been telling her to just go with the flow when I'm not even following my own advice haha. I've got to make things right with myself right now. I have to stop worrying about everyone around me, he even says.
I've achieved what I never thought was possible with you. Thank you, for everything.
The Other Half of Me: Deveon I.
He's right, too! Gahz. I overthink everything and weigh out every possibility possible (good or bad) to figure out what effects what and what I can do to prevent the worst. When I do this, I'm jus screwing myself up. My health and mental state may go below normal if I don't shape up. I always tell him not to worry at all, but of course, he's going to worry no matter what I say (= a dork). I have to just take everything step by step because I'm somehow losing myself little by little and I can't let them happen.
Kudos to SBL and PM.
I'm about to finish my Storyboard and then sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day! I'm sure of it!
Things I'm Looking Forward To:
-End of Finals.
-Beg. of Semester 2.
-KMTA MC Night.
-Track Season.
-Cherry Blossom Festival.
-DCON.
-End of School.
P.S. Haha! I copied your colors!
Savior for Today: Mara A.
She's right! Sighs. I just need to step out of my life for just a moment and vent so I can take out all the cement blocks and bricks that are in my path. I've been telling her to just go with the flow when I'm not even following my own advice haha. I've got to make things right with myself right now. I have to stop worrying about everyone around me, he even says.
I've achieved what I never thought was possible with you. Thank you, for everything.
The Other Half of Me: Deveon I.
He's right, too! Gahz. I overthink everything and weigh out every possibility possible (good or bad) to figure out what effects what and what I can do to prevent the worst. When I do this, I'm jus screwing myself up. My health and mental state may go below normal if I don't shape up. I always tell him not to worry at all, but of course, he's going to worry no matter what I say (= a dork). I have to just take everything step by step because I'm somehow losing myself little by little and I can't let them happen.
Kudos to SBL and PM.
I'm about to finish my Storyboard and then sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day! I'm sure of it!
Things I'm Looking Forward To:
-End of Finals.
-Beg. of Semester 2.
-KMTA MC Night.
-Track Season.
-Cherry Blossom Festival.
-DCON.
-End of School.
P.S. Haha! I copied your colors!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Take the Steering Wheel.
Why is it gone? Why can't I maintain that determination I once had? It's like I see the world in a way more different view. I'm pessimistic and think constantly low of myself. That drive to be good at things and succeed has disappeared. I can actually say that school is hard.
Why can I type on blogger and be at peace, but staring at this stupid graphic organizer I'm so confused. Why do I have a mind that's freaking retarded? God d*****. Whatever.
It's fine.
Is fine even an emotion?
Why can I type on blogger and be at peace, but staring at this stupid graphic organizer I'm so confused. Why do I have a mind that's freaking retarded? God d*****. Whatever.
It's fine.
Is fine even an emotion?
Monday, January 18, 2010
My Hero.
You were/are my best friend. Not just my best friend, the bestest friend I've ever had. You know I'm talking about you! Today, I broke down watching Bride Wars. It was so cute and sweet with the two best friends obssessed with getting married, haha. The whole movie I was thinking of us. I didn't cry during the movie because the significance of getting married, I was crying because I missed you. Then I couldn't help myself but crawl in a ball on my floor... I'm sorry...
By the time you read this, you'll probably never... Today it hit me how much I meant to you. I was like your inspiration, your advisor haha. Your hero.
Now it's my turn to tell you.
You're my hero.
With Love,
MNM.
By the time you read this, you'll probably never... Today it hit me how much I meant to you. I was like your inspiration, your advisor haha. Your hero.
Now it's my turn to tell you.
You're my hero.
With Love,
MNM.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Not Understandable
Maybe the reason why it's felt different between us is because you've stopped listening.
All because you're mad at me for doing something you don't like that's my decision, you have to get your bra stuck in your shirt and be fussy. You tell me, "You need to be a sister, and learn how to be responsible." Obviously, I know that sort of, but see I have all these misconceptions on that sentence you say. Why don't you ask me why it's hard to be that way towards him? All my life you've heard me cry and throw tantrums about how you guys spoil him and I respond to him in a mean way... And responsibility? Why don't you ask me if I even know how to be responsible?
Adult: Why are you the way you are towards him?
Me: Because he's not only my brother, he's Mikey. I keep doing the same ways trying to change him, and I know I should stop... Maybe I should stop now. I'm sorry, I should be the one to change my ways.
Adult: Do you know what responsibility is?
Me: I kind of have a vague definition of it but it's taking consideration for your actions and always being helpful around the house, doing homework without being told, being home without being called, checking up without worrying the parents, the simple things like that. But what's your definition, Mum?
How hard is that? When I say you should listen I don't mean like hear my ramble about and be "lenient" (as you would say), but just ask questions why, and the how comes, and the do you even knows because I can't do these things by myself.
We're a team, ***, not just a team, but a family.
p.s. All you have to do is ask and talk to me. You don't have to yell or ignore me, but I'm willing to listen to.
All because you're mad at me for doing something you don't like that's my decision, you have to get your bra stuck in your shirt and be fussy. You tell me, "You need to be a sister, and learn how to be responsible." Obviously, I know that sort of, but see I have all these misconceptions on that sentence you say. Why don't you ask me why it's hard to be that way towards him? All my life you've heard me cry and throw tantrums about how you guys spoil him and I respond to him in a mean way... And responsibility? Why don't you ask me if I even know how to be responsible?
Adult: Why are you the way you are towards him?
Me: Because he's not only my brother, he's Mikey. I keep doing the same ways trying to change him, and I know I should stop... Maybe I should stop now. I'm sorry, I should be the one to change my ways.
Adult: Do you know what responsibility is?
Me: I kind of have a vague definition of it but it's taking consideration for your actions and always being helpful around the house, doing homework without being told, being home without being called, checking up without worrying the parents, the simple things like that. But what's your definition, Mum?
How hard is that? When I say you should listen I don't mean like hear my ramble about and be "lenient" (as you would say), but just ask questions why, and the how comes, and the do you even knows because I can't do these things by myself.
We're a team, ***, not just a team, but a family.
p.s. All you have to do is ask and talk to me. You don't have to yell or ignore me, but I'm willing to listen to.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Potroast.
-Moist cuts of meat.
-Add vegetables right at the beginning.
-Brown the meat first on all sides which improve the flavor and appearance of the meat. High heat used during browning carmelizes the sugars and proteins in the meat, giving a rich flavor.
-Just wait and voila!
-For cooking liquid, you can use anything from coca-cola to beef broth or tomato juice.
-An hour and the meat is done.
-Add vegetables right at the beginning.
-Brown the meat first on all sides which improve the flavor and appearance of the meat. High heat used during browning carmelizes the sugars and proteins in the meat, giving a rich flavor.
-Just wait and voila!
-For cooking liquid, you can use anything from coca-cola to beef broth or tomato juice.
-An hour and the meat is done.
Friday, January 1, 2010
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!!!8]
1. Get a 6-pack of abs.
2. Get my permit.
3. Keep clean.
4. Go to a dance with Deveon.
5. Visit several or more colleges.
6. Stay in contact with Fab6 weekly.
7. Stop beign a pushover.
8. 3.9 student!!!
9. Learn how to breakdance.
10. Befriend a hobo.
Lauren made me make resolutions, haha. GAHZ! I LOVE LAURIIIEEEEE!
2. Get my permit.
3. Keep clean.
4. Go to a dance with Deveon.
5. Visit several or more colleges.
6. Stay in contact with Fab6 weekly.
7. Stop beign a pushover.
8. 3.9 student!!!
9. Learn how to breakdance.
10. Befriend a hobo.
Lauren made me make resolutions, haha. GAHZ! I LOVE LAURIIIEEEEE!
Who I Am.
Who am I? I am who I am. 2009 was a blast and there wasn't anything that I regret. I feel like 2009 is where I took a huge step out of my comfort zone to look at the other side. The side I was stuck on was cautiousness, high standards, and self-improvement. The side I wanted to take a glance at or take my place in was the place of availability, the momentary lapse of a smile, and beliefs. When I looked to the other side I found that I liked that side better haha. This 2010 I want to really be put to the test on what I could really do. Now I know what I want, and that’s to remember a couple of things. Be who I am. I like to let go to the wind. I like to make a funny remark or two about things I see. I like to just run with the air resisting against my body.
My parents think I’ve grown up in a way. They’re starting to tell me they have a hard time when they think of letting me go. Psshhhaaaa, I have long ways to go until I’ve fully grown up. But my parents have given me the greatest blessing which is making my own decisions because they trust me. This year I’m going to stop being so generous to those who don’t deserve it, and am going to appreciate those who appreciate me. Not only me, but the things I do, and see the hard effort I put into things. I’m not going to listen anymore of what people tell me to do. I’m going to be the person I see when I look into the mirror.
I know that I usually put some kind of weird blog that doesn’t really make sense, but this post I wanted to be straight up. Words that come from my mind in general haha.
I’m happy that I have my family to eat dinner with in the late evenings.
I’m happy that I have my friends to eat our hearts out chatting about our days and our lives.
I’m happy that I have my boyfriend here to cherish life day by day, step by step.
I’m happy that I have God in my soul, never forgetting me. Happy 2010, everyone!
My parents think I’ve grown up in a way. They’re starting to tell me they have a hard time when they think of letting me go. Psshhhaaaa, I have long ways to go until I’ve fully grown up. But my parents have given me the greatest blessing which is making my own decisions because they trust me. This year I’m going to stop being so generous to those who don’t deserve it, and am going to appreciate those who appreciate me. Not only me, but the things I do, and see the hard effort I put into things. I’m not going to listen anymore of what people tell me to do. I’m going to be the person I see when I look into the mirror.
I know that I usually put some kind of weird blog that doesn’t really make sense, but this post I wanted to be straight up. Words that come from my mind in general haha.
I’m happy that I have my family to eat dinner with in the late evenings.
I’m happy that I have my friends to eat our hearts out chatting about our days and our lives.
I’m happy that I have my boyfriend here to cherish life day by day, step by step.
I’m happy that I have God in my soul, never forgetting me. Happy 2010, everyone!
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