On a Thursday Evening.

My junior year is over.
I'm single.
Fab6 is basically reunited.
And I'm job hunting.

It's hard to believe that I'm where I'm at. It's surprising when I think of all the accomplishments I've made. I've been spending so much time with the girls and Justin, it really has been the best beginning of my summer except like two things. Stupid boys, and SAT score. Sighs, whatever.

Senior is about to be cracking dude, NO JOKE.

Summer:

• Make a new friend


• Get a job


• Lose four pounds


• Get my me a 4-PACK of ABS


• Save up to $350


• Set my schedule to finish all my IB stuff on time


• Just relax


• Prepare for college


• Perform as Adult Organist for the first time

Let's get this party started.

I Only Wish.

That whoever I end up with for the rest of my life will be someone who can take care of me. All my life I've had to do things all on my own with guidance from God, parents, and friends. I give so much for people and my community, what I really want in return is something in equal.

I'm tired of being treated wrong and guys' BS. I may be the heartbreaker, but I leave for good reasons; cheat, lies, fakeness, unappreciative, and cruel. It's not my friend's job to be here for me 24/7, if it was, well I wouldn't know because I've never really had that. I haven't given up on my friends yet and I'm very grateful that they haven't given up on me.

If only, if only.
Like road and car, they work together to bring each other to places.
Rumbing wildly, black takes over the trees.
And all that's left is a single beating heart.

It's Surprising.

How I feel so good right now where I am. There used to be days where I'd cry and cry because of a boy, or because I didn't believe in myself. But since I'm such a chameleon, I learn new things everyday and adapt to my surroundings.

Right now I'm with EstherYang, and SandraLee. MarianneRojas left a half hour ago, and I already miss her. We went to my house after EE meeting, ordered Chinese food, Sandra and I ran to FortuneCookieRestaurant to pick it up, then walked back to home with Sandra, then ate yummy food, cleaned, watched Silent Library, baked cake and brownes, Marianne left, and now we're sitting down watching Silent Library still haha. It's days like these that remind me that I'm not so crazy for taking IB because I have some pretty close people in IB who always have my back no matter what. I also feel like the girls needed this breathing as much as I did.

RIGHT NOW I'm currently not really liking anyone except I'm interested in this guy who is someone I used to be with, but unfortunately I don't think he's interested and plus I've never really tried long distance before.

Lately I've been thinking that I should be friends with D, but I don't think he'd want to. He's the kind to hold grudges and put on greaze mode for as long as he wants. Maybe I should have a darker side to keep up with that, but I really don't care. It really hurts that he won't tell me why he left, but I've just got to accept it. I'm not made for relationships in this time of my life. As much as I love having someone there to call Sweetie, talk all night, and chill whenever we want, that's what I got family and friends for, for now. Hahha.

I feel like running. I feel like laughng. I feel like just gong around the world! I love what I'm doing in my life right now, it's so crazy. What's been kind of weird is all of the people who are down around me. Not only are my IB buds getting down, but my other friends are really not believing in themselves and want to reach the end of their line. I want to help, but I'm also busy with trying to stay levelled in my life. Sighs, but even if I'm busy I'd never give up. For some reason, I like keeping my friends and people I know close to me. Maybe it's because I like being social, but at the same time I really like being an individual. I'm an individual in the crowd.

Time to go study history with Yang and Lee!

Nikki.