Love.

It's all around us is what I think. In the eyes of my mother, the laugh of my dad, the walk in my brother's steps.

Today I was watching him, why is he so great? Although he doesn't do as much as I do (pointing the finger! haha), he tries his hardest. He's the most any young man could do for me, less than I hope for, but more than what I've expected from anyone. He's like a present wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper, and a shimmering bow on the top.

Today was one of the hardest days of my life. We'll call it MGM crisis.
How I responded: Screamed, yelled, acted on emotions.
How I should've responded: Locally I should've kept the embarassment away from my brother and dad. I should've not cried and instead responded in a calm mature way. Domestically I should've kept my tears in at service. I should've kept my math shut to Ka Gerard and smiled to keep my head up high.
Similar Situations: None.
My Opinion: I love her and I promise to pray to God to keep my strength that that'll never happen again. The MGM crisis lasted for 15 hours, and 45 minutes.

Half way done with my crisis project. I hate CWI. "Actually, just the teacher", says the student.

A Heart's Wish

To see things on the brighter side.

My Father.

Dear Dad,

I love you. No matter how old you are or how slow or weird you act, I will always remember everything you've done for me. There are three reasons how I am how I am; Mum, God, and You. Today you turn 25 (what's that backwards? haha), and the 15 years and 10 months and 25 days I've been alive you've been there for me giving my hugs, making me laugh, giving me dreams to have of my future, and to support me as my father. I love you so much it's making me tear up right now because I don't think I ever want to lose you.

You're kind of old and my fear is that you won't be able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day or live to see me have your grandkids. Please, dear God, let my dad live as long as my Lola. I love him so much and wish better things would happen for him... Please grant him a job, please grant him patience, please grant him his sane mind...

I love you, Dad. Please know that... How you are I would never change it any other way. I think I was a tomboy when I was a kid because I secretly wanted to be just like you; hardworking, heaedstrong, and witty. As a child I was a daddy's little girl, and grew up become close to you and Mum. Now I am the despitting image of you and Mum. Mikey and I are so lucky to have you and Mum as our parents. You two have always taught us to be righteous and smart wherever we go. Like I said, I wouldn't have you two any different. I love you guys so much... I'll tell you how much you two mean to me before I sleep. :]

Mahn, I'm about to be on my period, like seriously haha. The food cravings, chocolate urges, mood swings, and weird thoughts haha.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

W/Love,
M.N.M.

A Speech For You

I never knew what it was like to have an adult who wasn't related to me believe in me. To know that there are others out there who want to look out for me not because I'm their burden or responsibility but because they want to make me better at something they know in their heart I could do. From the middle age to the high age I've traveled and grown stronger, learning how to use my abilities to the fullest. Because they screamed my name, because you screamed my name, I was able to scream my name.
The world turns afoot under my feet when we run, hurdle, vault, jump, or throw. That distinct moment of rightness or wrong is what we feel, but what all of us feel at that second is faith; faith in ourselves. You as our mentors, teachers, wise adults have work hard every day to gather us together and pass on what you have learned in your life. I make stand to tell you simply that even if all of us tell you or know ourselves, we thank you.

Today was great. Had the Liberty HS Invite, and the GIRLS BEASTED! Got second in the whole meet unbelievably, and I GOT MY FIRST MEDAL! For ym 4 by 400 relay. Dang, I sprinted my first race that was a whole lap(400) and did pretty good. Above is just a jurisdiction to what I want to tell my coaches one day. They've done a lot for me and my team. All coaches around should be appreciated! Ahahaha, how hard do you think it is to manage teens on a daily basis depending on your patience level? Haha.
Anyways, had Key Club Mtg with James and Anthony, we talked about everything and preplanned this Wed, the Haiti Yard Sale, and the Installation Banquet. It's starting to be hard to focus on my serious life and my personal life, but I'll manage.

END OF THE QUARTER; THIS THURSDAY!

GNITE!

Day of Remembrance

I hit several realizations...

• Moment of Lucid Smiles; I served at the Annual Kiwanis Senior Breakfast 7am-10am today with the Key Clubbers. It was amazing. We set up all the tables and served the food. We even "performed" our Key Club cheer in front of all the seniors. I snuck out of the house this morning to go to this event because I forgot to tell my parents, and I didn't want to cancel on James E. Being scared out of my wits, my Mum called my at 9:30 screaming, screaming, screaming. Not because I left, but because I didn't wash the dishes. Interesting, right? Her exact words, "Why the hell did you forget to wash the d*** dishes? You care more about your devotiosn and promises to friends and school events verses your own family and house. Etc." Sighs. I shouldn't have shed any tears, but the truth in her words hurt emotionally.
  My thoughts; I'll keep that to myself.
• Moment of Athleticism; Had first basketball practice since a year ago. It felt great, but I confounded that it's just like Track, YOU NEED TO WORK GOOD FOR IT! Likewise, I think we had a rough beneficial start today. :D
  My thoughts; I'm anxious for the upcoming practices and the tournament itself.
• Moment of Boredom; Got home and took a nap for three hours. So woke up around 4:00. Took a shower and felt supremely bored. So I emailed a few teachers asking if I could do any extra research or be prepared for any upcoming assignments. And Fisher responded thank goodness haha. Worked on Reed's trigonometric derivations while watching TV for another three hours. AMAZING! Haha.
  My thoughts; I really want to get straight A's for this Semester. It's so close I could taste it. I just have 3 A-'s. They're all close to an A by like 1.4 off each A-. But the thing is I don't really care. Because I really just don't. My teachers are beginning to understand me that way. I told most of them all about it, except Coble and Roller. I love learning, that's why I've never really had straight A's because I didn't focus on the letter grade or percentage accuracy, but made sure that I whatever I turned in I knew exactly what I was turning in, and how I got to that way. I came with a recent realization last week that learning vs. the grade, I'd rather have the learning. The learning is more useful when I'm in college or the real world. I will of course explain that throughly to colleges when I meet the administrators.

Lately, all I can think about the future. Boeing gave me a secret way to keep myself organized. It's called the WIP/OnDeck/Hold List procedure. Haha. I'll explain that later on. I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. I have the whole marriage, kids, time management thing already figured out. But the occupation is the only thing screwing up my plans because I'm still not sure what I want to be. And I'm scared. SO scared that I won't be able to figure it out all in time. I want to do something where I can make a mark on either history or be remembered somehwere.

Have you ever been with someone where you weren't with them? This can be defined in two ways. Where two people are together but netiher one of them know that each other's presence is present, or only one person knows of the other person's present. The second one is where the two people have a bond with one another but do not announce a title of the present attraction. This both has to do with presence and non-presence.
i.e. You are reading this blog right now, and I could be reading it too. Interesting, right?

Another matter of subject; the meaning of words. Why do people always say things, promise things, tell you things that they don't even keep to word? If they really wanted wanted to mean what they say, why don't they just do it? Instead of waiting around for others to tell them what they're doing right or wrong. Sighs. I've come across this circumstance many times in my life, and several times this week. Why do you promise me something and then either you break it or not fulfill it!?!?!? You make me wants to cry, obviously though... You already have that sense. You mean so much to me, why would I lie and not mean what I say?

I feel normal again. Haha. After my day of relaxation and boredom. Ahaha. Well on the phone with Deveon, blog another day.