How?

How did I lose track of time and realize that the things lost are the most precious things to me? I've grown apart from a handful of people who've made my life such a better place to live in haha. And I've given up on some things that tore my heart apart.

Then there's my current reality. With people I'm trying to fight for to stay beside me. AlisonB has been a best friend I've never had, we think the same things, we believe in the same reasons to be alive, and want to literally grow old together. LaurenC has never hesitated to hold my hand, or let me cry on her shoulder, and I've never hesitated to do the same. JaimeeLM is the best cousin I've ever had and I wish nothing could've severed our connection, but no matter what we'll always be in each other's lives because of the blood flowing in our veins. NatriceL never gives up trying to make me smile and always can be counted on as being my bestfriend and because she is who she is I believe she always brings the best out of me. EmmalynL, you remind me of why the Fab6 still breathes and lives, and because of your softness and tender heart you always are there to hold my heart in your hands. MaraA, you've been the key to my heart since 7th grade Tobiason and never have you failed to be yourself and keep from drowning. MaddieS you keep my life bright with sunlight and sunflowers, because of you I can never stop laughing. MeganI, to pay back what I've done for you, you always am here for me as my ear and supervisor and have given me abilities I never knew I was capable of.

Last Dedication even if it might be kind of rocky and weird. You, who has given me the greatest gift of all; hope that love is worthy enough to have me and even if you couldn't give it to me, I know that at least I could find it.

Camillo Massagli.

At the least - 1.
At the most- 11.


We're going to be successful.
WOOT!

How am I going to survive my last two years withyou you?:[
Since your first day of school, we've been hip to the bone.

Love.

It's all around us is what I think. In the eyes of my mother, the laugh of my dad, the walk in my brother's steps.

Today I was watching him, why is he so great? Although he doesn't do as much as I do (pointing the finger! haha), he tries his hardest. He's the most any young man could do for me, less than I hope for, but more than what I've expected from anyone. He's like a present wrapped in beautiful wrapping paper, and a shimmering bow on the top.

Today was one of the hardest days of my life. We'll call it MGM crisis.
How I responded: Screamed, yelled, acted on emotions.
How I should've responded: Locally I should've kept the embarassment away from my brother and dad. I should've not cried and instead responded in a calm mature way. Domestically I should've kept my tears in at service. I should've kept my math shut to Ka Gerard and smiled to keep my head up high.
Similar Situations: None.
My Opinion: I love her and I promise to pray to God to keep my strength that that'll never happen again. The MGM crisis lasted for 15 hours, and 45 minutes.

Half way done with my crisis project. I hate CWI. "Actually, just the teacher", says the student.

A Speech For You

I never knew what it was like to have an adult who wasn't related to me believe in me. To know that there are others out there who want to look out for me not because I'm their burden or responsibility but because they want to make me better at something they know in their heart I could do. From the middle age to the high age I've traveled and grown stronger, learning how to use my abilities to the fullest. Because they screamed my name, because you screamed my name, I was able to scream my name.
The world turns afoot under my feet when we run, hurdle, vault, jump, or throw. That distinct moment of rightness or wrong is what we feel, but what all of us feel at that second is faith; faith in ourselves. You as our mentors, teachers, wise adults have work hard every day to gather us together and pass on what you have learned in your life. I make stand to tell you simply that even if all of us tell you or know ourselves, we thank you.

Today was great. Had the Liberty HS Invite, and the GIRLS BEASTED! Got second in the whole meet unbelievably, and I GOT MY FIRST MEDAL! For ym 4 by 400 relay. Dang, I sprinted my first race that was a whole lap(400) and did pretty good. Above is just a jurisdiction to what I want to tell my coaches one day. They've done a lot for me and my team. All coaches around should be appreciated! Ahahaha, how hard do you think it is to manage teens on a daily basis depending on your patience level? Haha.
Anyways, had Key Club Mtg with James and Anthony, we talked about everything and preplanned this Wed, the Haiti Yard Sale, and the Installation Banquet. It's starting to be hard to focus on my serious life and my personal life, but I'll manage.

END OF THE QUARTER; THIS THURSDAY!

GNITE!

I love...

Ice cream + Space Jam= Happiness As Of Now. Haha.

My Family, and a special dedication to Alison BEE!

The Highlights of my Beginning

It is all starting to piece together!

• Track!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Overachieving in Pre-CALC

• Self-studying in Japanese
• Fun Gameboard in CWI
• Holy Supper in 4 days

What a Day.

I woke up with a resentment in my fragile heart. Right now, I'm super vulnerable. Goodness gracious. I put clothes on, ate breakfast, brushed teeth, popped into Sandisan's car, and went to school. Today was kinda gray, jazz was depressing. Anre and Sandra cheered me up in Chem, Sandra was a helping hand in Japanese, and the way to Math, Deveon came. :] Math was hard though... Because I'm frustrated with Ms. Reed. No comment on it but I have to promise to myself I'm going to study hard for Monday's Trig Test.



Fisher's was a drag with the debate. My eye kept bothering and it was hard taking out the white gunk, but like literally right now my whole left eye is red. GAHZ! Hahahaha. It was sad to look at him... But I had to put a brave face and chill. We got to play Monopoly at the end! That definitely cheered me up. Lunch was calm, I ate with him and we walked around. Trek and Momo threw pennies at us, bwahahaha. Drake's class was TIGHT! I did a fantastic job as the Oracle and had a lively debate with Massagli (Oedipus). I'm super excited for the next couple of days in Drake's class. I'm going for the Best Actress award for our class! Presentation, I think, is one of my strongest abilities. And one of my most faveeeeeees. Hahaha. Skipped down to Transier's and watched an Art Institue lady talk about video production and show us articles. I went to the back fo the library and showed Mr. Transier my CTE Commercial Pitch and blew him away. WOOT! I fell asleep next to him for like 15 minutes. He said something that I will keep to heart, "Maria, you work too hard." As simple as that, he was right. When the last bell rang, I went to Transier's and presented my CTE Pitch to VidProd Club and got filmed. Then Momo and Sandisan and I headed to the bus and left for the mysterious journey I've been waiting for over several months now... Momo had to go home, so that left Sandisan and I. The time I held in my hands with Sandra today was my favorite part of today. It showed to me that Sandra really is one of my truest and bestest friends. We're both not perfect, or 100% there for each other, but we try, and try and try our hardest. I can't wait to live my life day by day able to hold her hand. THANK YOU SANDRA!!!



Progress: I've cried more than I wanted to.. But I'm going to be strong like you said I was. I'm sorry.. For everything. Tomorrow was suppose to be the big Four. But everything will be fine.. Or it won't.

A Day of a Head Held High

I have a plan. A plan to make things better. But time needs to do its job right, and we must all have patience. My plan will not take its course now, of course. But we'll do how time deals with life.

ANYWAYS ON A LIGHTER SUBJECT.

Mum came home with papers and files saying that I will be a lawyer. Haha. She printed out information, admissions, and qualities that a Harvard Law Student or Yale Law Student needs to know. I started laughing because I bet you she'll change my mind to want to become a lawyer. I love my Mum. She's so caring, fair, and super funny. Hahahahahaha. Maybe not as funny as my dad, though.

On a deeply-thought-out moment: I can't stop glancing at the flowers in the glass vase across from me. They're wilting and petals are starting to fall. Among the yellow flowers, the orange/pink in the middle stands tall. That's like me standing tall against the opposing evil forces. Haha. Thank you for your sweet kindness.

Yo, yo, yo, yippee yay, yippee yo.

Today's a good day.
Better than some days I've had.
But could maybe better.
My friend, my friend, give me a call.

Let's grieve together.

Dear Nanay,

I'm going to miss you a lot. It was really awesome having you here. Ever since she got her new job and works two full-time jobs, I forgot what it was like to come home to a house smelling like muffins and cookies. Haha. Even though you were here for only eight days, it felt like two weeks of peace and tranquility. You came, and we all had to behave. I'm glad that you came, po. We were almost falling apart and drifted away completely. You've made my Mum happy, and help my brother in ways we all couldn't. Right now, it's like all the tension has disappeared, but I know it's still there buried deep deep under the crawl space of our house. I love you Nay, I hope your flight is safe. I love you, po! Today was a better day.

I'm proud to be your first grandchild. :D

With Much Love,
Nikki.

What She Says. What He Says.

She's always been there for me, whether I had so much food on my plate or not.
Savior for Today: Mara A.

She's right! Sighs. I just need to step out of my life for just a moment and vent so I can take out all the cement blocks and bricks that are in my path. I've been telling her to just go with the flow when I'm not even following my own advice haha. I've got to make things right with myself right now. I have to stop worrying about everyone around me, he even says.

I've achieved what I never thought was possible with you. Thank you, for everything.
The Other Half of Me: Deveon I.

He's right, too! Gahz. I overthink everything and weigh out every possibility possible (good or bad) to figure out what effects what and what I can do to prevent the worst. When I do this, I'm jus screwing myself up. My health and mental state may go below normal if I don't shape up. I always tell him not to worry at all, but of course, he's going to worry no matter what I say (= a dork). I have to just take everything step by step because I'm somehow losing myself little by little and I can't let them happen.

Kudos to SBL and PM.

I'm about to finish my Storyboard and then sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day! I'm sure of it!
Things I'm Looking Forward To:
-End of Finals.
-Beg. of Semester 2.
-KMTA MC Night.
-Track Season.
-Cherry Blossom Festival.
-DCON.
-End of School.

P.S. Haha! I copied your colors!

My Hero.

You were/are my best friend. Not just my best friend, the bestest friend I've ever had. You know I'm talking about you! Today, I broke down watching Bride Wars. It was so cute and sweet with the two best friends obssessed with getting married, haha. The whole movie I was thinking of us. I didn't cry during the movie because the significance of getting married, I was crying because I missed you. Then I couldn't help myself but crawl in a ball on my floor... I'm sorry...



By the time you read this, you'll probably never... Today it hit me how much I meant to you. I was like your inspiration, your advisor haha. Your hero.



Now it's my turn to tell you.



You're my hero.



With Love,
MNM.