I established myself. What i've built in my life,
My world is what happens around me. What happens in my time of living that's influencing me right now are my family, friends, school,
How this world impacts my dreams and aspirations is that by going off the college, i will be leaving this world I'm currently in and entering a new one.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Monday, October 17, 2011
No One Else.
I don't think anyone even uses Blogger anymore. They've moved on to Twitter, Tumblr, and other online things that I haven't updated myself with. It's kind of hard to keep up, honestly.
It's the prime time of my senior year and I'm just living it. I am enjoying high school as Senior Class Prez, chilling with my IB buds, staying connected with Fab, and saving time with family as much as I can. I've been worried so much lately about colleges, IB exams, and money. It's just all been a little overhwhelming, but with the help of God and prayer, I know that everything will be okay.
Right now, I like someone. It's there, but not too strong. He's sweet, but every other guy I know is capable of being sweet. I just wish that I didn't have such a cynical view on love, relationships, and boys in general. I told him I liked him last Thursday, and it got awkward over the weekend. Then we saw each other today, and everything seems fine. He just left Skype to go to sleep because his Mum came home. His parents really shelter him.:[ It's really sad that his social life is barred practically, but it'll be okay. You know why? It's because I'm here now! And I'm going to help him out whether I'm here as his friend or the girl that likes him haha. I feel bad because I have to act like I don't like him to make things even and casual, but it's for our own good. I have to think of church, and he has to think of his life. I honestly feel like the worst will happen if we pursue anything together, like disaster is inevitable, but whatever. We agreed the night I told him that I like him that we'd just stay low and now do anything because I don't want anything more as friends at this point and he doens't want to stress me out with all that goes on with me anyway. For a Sophomore, he's pretty mature, but he's still a sophomore hahaha. EW, I'm a COUGAR. Anyways, gotta work on TOK.
Night!
It's the prime time of my senior year and I'm just living it. I am enjoying high school as Senior Class Prez, chilling with my IB buds, staying connected with Fab, and saving time with family as much as I can. I've been worried so much lately about colleges, IB exams, and money. It's just all been a little overhwhelming, but with the help of God and prayer, I know that everything will be okay.
Right now, I like someone. It's there, but not too strong. He's sweet, but every other guy I know is capable of being sweet. I just wish that I didn't have such a cynical view on love, relationships, and boys in general. I told him I liked him last Thursday, and it got awkward over the weekend. Then we saw each other today, and everything seems fine. He just left Skype to go to sleep because his Mum came home. His parents really shelter him.:[ It's really sad that his social life is barred practically, but it'll be okay. You know why? It's because I'm here now! And I'm going to help him out whether I'm here as his friend or the girl that likes him haha. I feel bad because I have to act like I don't like him to make things even and casual, but it's for our own good. I have to think of church, and he has to think of his life. I honestly feel like the worst will happen if we pursue anything together, like disaster is inevitable, but whatever. We agreed the night I told him that I like him that we'd just stay low and now do anything because I don't want anything more as friends at this point and he doens't want to stress me out with all that goes on with me anyway. For a Sophomore, he's pretty mature, but he's still a sophomore hahaha. EW, I'm a COUGAR. Anyways, gotta work on TOK.
Night!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
It's Never Easy.
Hey haha. So I'm at a sleepover where my friends slept on me and I'm the last to go to sleep. I'm just too thankful for them and what God has done for me this week. Crazy crap has been happening to my family and I, I thought I was going suicidal or some random teenager emotions. Honestly, even if they annoy me or lose faith sometimes, I'll never give up on the Fab6 or any friendships I have. What's odd is I know a lot of people and do have a lot of best friends. Its not a bad thing but not necessarily a good thing either. I get close to people. It happens.
Heart: currently liking Beaver, but not looking for a relationship at all. Strictly no commitment and whatsoever. I can't go through it again dude, no joke haha.
Job: trying.
IB HW: starting, ahahahahahahHahahahahahahahaha.
Family: working at it.
Me: loving my life, not really liking myself but I'll cope and manage.:D
Time for bed,
Cow.
Heart: currently liking Beaver, but not looking for a relationship at all. Strictly no commitment and whatsoever. I can't go through it again dude, no joke haha.
Job: trying.
IB HW: starting, ahahahahahahHahahahahahahahaha.
Family: working at it.
Me: loving my life, not really liking myself but I'll cope and manage.:D
Time for bed,
Cow.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
On a Thursday Evening.
My junior year is over.
I'm single.
Fab6 is basically reunited.
And I'm job hunting.
It's hard to believe that I'm where I'm at. It's surprising when I think of all the accomplishments I've made. I've been spending so much time with the girls and Justin, it really has been the best beginning of my summer except like two things. Stupid boys, and SAT score. Sighs, whatever.
Senior is about to be cracking dude, NO JOKE.
I'm single.
Fab6 is basically reunited.
And I'm job hunting.
It's hard to believe that I'm where I'm at. It's surprising when I think of all the accomplishments I've made. I've been spending so much time with the girls and Justin, it really has been the best beginning of my summer except like two things. Stupid boys, and SAT score. Sighs, whatever.
Senior is about to be cracking dude, NO JOKE.
Summer:
- Make a new friend
- Get a job
- Lose four pounds
- Get my me a 4-PACK of ABS
- Save up to $350
- Set my schedule to finish all my IB stuff on time
- Just relax
- Prepare for college
- Perform as Adult Organist for the first time
Let's get this party started.
Monday, June 13, 2011
I Only Wish.
That whoever I end up with for the rest of my life will be someone who can take care of me. All my life I've had to do things all on my own with guidance from God, parents, and friends. I give so much for people and my community, what I really want in return is something in equal.
I'm tired of being treated wrong and guys' BS. I may be the heartbreaker, but I leave for good reasons; cheat, lies, fakeness, unappreciative, and cruel. It's not my friend's job to be here for me 24/7, if it was, well I wouldn't know because I've never really had that. I haven't given up on my friends yet and I'm very grateful that they haven't given up on me.
If only, if only.
Like road and car, they work together to bring each other to places.
Rumbing wildly, black takes over the trees.
And all that's left is a single beating heart.
I'm tired of being treated wrong and guys' BS. I may be the heartbreaker, but I leave for good reasons; cheat, lies, fakeness, unappreciative, and cruel. It's not my friend's job to be here for me 24/7, if it was, well I wouldn't know because I've never really had that. I haven't given up on my friends yet and I'm very grateful that they haven't given up on me.
If only, if only.
Like road and car, they work together to bring each other to places.
Rumbing wildly, black takes over the trees.
And all that's left is a single beating heart.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
It's Surprising.
How I feel so good right now where I am. There used to be days where I'd cry and cry because of a boy, or because I didn't believe in myself. But since I'm such a chameleon, I learn new things everyday and adapt to my surroundings.
Right now I'm with EstherYang, and SandraLee. MarianneRojas left a half hour ago, and I already miss her. We went to my house after EE meeting, ordered Chinese food, Sandra and I ran to FortuneCookieRestaurant to pick it up, then walked back to home with Sandra, then ate yummy food, cleaned, watched Silent Library, baked cake and brownes, Marianne left, and now we're sitting down watching Silent Library still haha. It's days like these that remind me that I'm not so crazy for taking IB because I have some pretty close people in IB who always have my back no matter what. I also feel like the girls needed this breathing as much as I did.
RIGHT NOW I'm currently not really liking anyone except I'm interested in this guy who is someone I used to be with, but unfortunately I don't think he's interested and plus I've never really tried long distance before.
Lately I've been thinking that I should be friends with D, but I don't think he'd want to. He's the kind to hold grudges and put on greaze mode for as long as he wants. Maybe I should have a darker side to keep up with that, but I really don't care. It really hurts that he won't tell me why he left, but I've just got to accept it. I'm not made for relationships in this time of my life. As much as I love having someone there to call Sweetie, talk all night, and chill whenever we want, that's what I got family and friends for, for now. Hahha.
I feel like running. I feel like laughng. I feel like just gong around the world! I love what I'm doing in my life right now, it's so crazy. What's been kind of weird is all of the people who are down around me. Not only are my IB buds getting down, but my other friends are really not believing in themselves and want to reach the end of their line. I want to help, but I'm also busy with trying to stay levelled in my life. Sighs, but even if I'm busy I'd never give up. For some reason, I like keeping my friends and people I know close to me. Maybe it's because I like being social, but at the same time I really like being an individual. I'm an individual in the crowd.
Time to go study history with Yang and Lee!
Nikki.
Right now I'm with EstherYang, and SandraLee. MarianneRojas left a half hour ago, and I already miss her. We went to my house after EE meeting, ordered Chinese food, Sandra and I ran to FortuneCookieRestaurant to pick it up, then walked back to home with Sandra, then ate yummy food, cleaned, watched Silent Library, baked cake and brownes, Marianne left, and now we're sitting down watching Silent Library still haha. It's days like these that remind me that I'm not so crazy for taking IB because I have some pretty close people in IB who always have my back no matter what. I also feel like the girls needed this breathing as much as I did.
RIGHT NOW I'm currently not really liking anyone except I'm interested in this guy who is someone I used to be with, but unfortunately I don't think he's interested and plus I've never really tried long distance before.
Lately I've been thinking that I should be friends with D, but I don't think he'd want to. He's the kind to hold grudges and put on greaze mode for as long as he wants. Maybe I should have a darker side to keep up with that, but I really don't care. It really hurts that he won't tell me why he left, but I've just got to accept it. I'm not made for relationships in this time of my life. As much as I love having someone there to call Sweetie, talk all night, and chill whenever we want, that's what I got family and friends for, for now. Hahha.
I feel like running. I feel like laughng. I feel like just gong around the world! I love what I'm doing in my life right now, it's so crazy. What's been kind of weird is all of the people who are down around me. Not only are my IB buds getting down, but my other friends are really not believing in themselves and want to reach the end of their line. I want to help, but I'm also busy with trying to stay levelled in my life. Sighs, but even if I'm busy I'd never give up. For some reason, I like keeping my friends and people I know close to me. Maybe it's because I like being social, but at the same time I really like being an individual. I'm an individual in the crowd.
Time to go study history with Yang and Lee!
Nikki.
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