Whatever Happens From Here.

I'm extremely nervous. I know I have to leave, and soon.

For some reason, everything with him feels so perfect. And that pisses me off. It's not supposed to be like this. I'm not supposed to like him this much, want to be with him at all, and want to make time for him. This was supposed to be my time to just chill and stop getting hurt. Although he hasn't hurt me, yet, I know that it's going to happen one way or another.

I should've avoided this situation long ago. He is too wonderful.

Tim Hill, I'm sorry for everything.

You were my best friend.

Now, you just look down on me.

Good thing I'm taller.

Austrailian Stick Bugs.

If you think about it, life in the simpler text can be a list of memories and events. Looking back now, my pre-teen years make me want to throw my head back, and laugh so hard that it booms to the ceiling and right back at me. I remember being foolish, naive, headstrong, and ready for anything. But in all honesty, I experienced my pre-teen years a little differently than most girls. My friends from Youth group always giggled about the boys they liked, Jesse McCartney's hair, and the new Disney Channel movies. I remember sitting with them quietly, book tucked under my arm listening intently and wondering what in the world they were talking about. I It all began when I was eleven, when I first laid my eyes on not a

Probably one of the most confusing times of a woman's life that she won't remember are her pre-teen years; young, foolish, struggling to already be grown up. Unfortunately, I've been through this, but dealt with it in a different way. I remember the countless days I woke up in the morning why I am the way I am, and what's my purpose?

Okay.

I established myself. What i've built in my life,

My world is what happens around me. What happens in my time of living that's influencing me right now are my family, friends, school,

How this world impacts my dreams and aspirations is that by going off the college, i will be leaving this world I'm currently in and entering a new one.

No One Else.

I don't think anyone even uses Blogger anymore. They've moved on to Twitter, Tumblr, and other online things that I haven't updated myself with. It's kind of hard to keep up, honestly.

It's the prime time of my senior year and I'm just living it. I am enjoying high school as Senior Class Prez, chilling with my IB buds, staying connected with Fab, and saving time with family as much as I can. I've been worried so much lately about colleges, IB exams, and money. It's just all been a little overhwhelming, but with the help of God and prayer, I know that everything will be okay.

Right now, I like someone. It's there, but not too strong. He's sweet, but every other guy I know is capable of being sweet. I just wish that I didn't have such a cynical view on love, relationships, and boys in general. I told him I liked him last Thursday, and it got awkward over the weekend. Then we saw each other today, and everything seems fine. He just left Skype to go to sleep because his Mum came home. His parents really shelter him.:[ It's really sad that his social life is barred practically, but it'll be okay. You know why? It's because I'm here now! And I'm going to help him out whether I'm here as his friend or the girl that likes him haha. I feel bad because I have to act like I don't like him to make things even and casual, but it's for our own good. I have to think of church, and he has to think of his life. I honestly feel like the worst will happen if we pursue anything together, like disaster is inevitable, but whatever. We agreed the night I told him that I like him that we'd just stay low and now do anything because I don't want anything more as friends at this point and he doens't want to stress me out with all that goes on with me anyway. For a Sophomore, he's pretty mature, but he's still a sophomore hahaha. EW, I'm a COUGAR. Anyways, gotta work on TOK.

Night!

Haha just because.

I LOVE LAUREN.

It's Never Easy.

Hey haha. So I'm at a sleepover where my friends slept on me and I'm the last to go to sleep. I'm just too thankful for them and what God has done for me this week. Crazy crap has been happening to my family and I, I thought I was going suicidal or some random teenager emotions. Honestly, even if they annoy me or lose faith sometimes, I'll never give up on the Fab6 or any friendships I have. What's odd is I know a lot of people and do have a lot of best friends. Its not a bad thing but not necessarily a good thing either. I get close to people. It happens.

Heart: currently liking Beaver, but not looking for a relationship at all. Strictly no commitment and whatsoever. I can't go through it again dude, no joke haha.

Job: trying.

IB HW: starting, ahahahahahahHahahahahahahahaha.

Family: working at it.

Me: loving my life, not really liking myself but I'll cope and manage.:D

Time for bed,
Cow.