Fate&Destiny.

It doesn't matter. I've finally figured it out, bff. So after I got off the phone with you when we were talking about our love lives and Serendipity, I just sat down and thought. The only solution to your problem is get rid of both. If you have to choose between two guys, don't choose either of them. Because either one you choose to be with, you're going to hurt someone and hurt yourself at the same time. I know you love him, but just right now, you deserve to not be under stress. I keep telling you that unlike me you just need a guy who'll make things feel easy and wonderful. You're a lover, not a fight though which makes it harder (I bet people think you're a fighter ahha). Thinking back I remember all those things with Von. If he had come up to me anytime before Deveon and maybe a couple times during Deveon and had come out and had said "I love you, but you're happy without me" I would've most likely jumped into his arms. But that didn't happen, and for a reason. If you think fate is telling you that you belong with Kuya and not D, then don't follow it. What would be more trouble? Leaving D and coming back to J, or completely getting over J and staying with D? The answer is neither, the easier would be just getting out. You need alone time, or maybe a couple fun dates with D. I told you I don't care whom you choose to be with or what you do, just pick the choice that will cause less hurt. I thought I wasn't going to get over Von. Everyone thought I'd never get over him, and I probably still haven't but I just consider that I"m over him because I don't dream of lying in bed next to him, watching Korean dramas in his living room, our asian kids running around with glasses and booming laughs, but most of all I stopped dreaming of what it'd be like if he loved me the way I loved him. Bff, you'll get through this. You are one of the strongest ppl I know just like N, A, and J. Like I said, if this boy if your only weakness, find a way to defeat it. I love you so much, I just absolutely hate seeing you get hurt. Back to my life haha. Had Holy Supper and it was wonderful. I swear, being Iglesia is amazing, I love my church. It's the only place where I feel like my main purpose is. I mean I try to fit in everywhere else, but when I'm at church that's where it's at mahn. I finally feel like things with Alison are seeming a lot brighter. During mediatation period in the third Worship Service, I fantasized what it'd be like to call her and just talk. I started crying super hard and couldn't stop. Then I wandered off into NeverLand wondering what it'd be like if I didn't have my parents with me and I cried harder. I predicted life without Deveon, and I sobbed. I've finally found my fault and sin; I am too attached to the people and wonder of this evil and wicked world. I can still have my goals in saving the world and etc, but I've gotta put my duty and membership of my church above all. Life is bliss, but the Holy City is eternal life.