Freaking piss off.

I mean, really? Why would someone say that? Or do something like that? It just pisses me off that you think you know someone, and you find out that you really don't. How could he say that about me? Why would he say that about me? Out of all the days to find out, I had to find out today. I hate him so much, why? Not because he broke up with me, I don't care about that. The fact that he just left, ignored me, couldn't at least be here for me as my friend to help me get over all of it. It just really really hurts, and I have to hide it everyday so I can be strong because I'm done shedding tears because of him. He doens't even give a shit, which makes me even more angry.

Don't mind me though because I'm probably misunderstanding any of the signals or actions he gave. But I don't care because it's not like he cleared anything for me anyways.

Do you know what it's like to give it your all, your 118%, give your complete heart, be there beyond the limits of time, and proclaim that it was love? And then having it all just taken away without any justified reasons or at least some kind of... like a explanation or warning sign... or just I, I don't know. It makes me angry how much I really hate his character right now and that I didn't see it before. He never meant the way he felt, he never meant any of it. Maybe that's just what I think, but I'll never know because I don't want to talk to him anymore. I wanted to get my closure and pain out of the way a couple weeks ago and even asked if we could get it all out in the open and just be friends, but no, he never responded and just pushed it aside. Then a week or so later decides "Hey, I think I'm okay to talk now to you. Not because I was ignoring you, but for other reasons, so we can talk now." BS, all because you're ready to talk means we're allowed to talk? Seriously? I really hope you end up alone for the rest of your life. What a nasty thoguht, but I've never placed someone so high on my priority list and kept them there despite everybody else's opinions, the arguments had, or the obstacles faced.

Nikki.