Finally.

It's over. The first semester of my high school life is done. One of the hardest times of my life. Mahn, freshman year. I can't wait for the rest of this year. A lot has happened. I know that this may not be a big deal to you, but to me it is. I'm going to miss it. Like Esther said "This week was different and...", well something like that HAHAHA.

Oh em gee. FINALS are DONE. Thank GOSH. Frizzin A's. KM was a huge adjustment, even more, KMTA was a huge adjustment. All these people, this environment, the teachers, the learning process, everything! It was so hard for me to get used to. I'm so glad that I had A.G.B.B. by my side throughout this school year and hopefully for the rest of it. Even if there were times where I just wanted to throw my labtop at the ground and switch to a different school, I'm glad I didn't. There are so many things I miss though. Aha, what are they again?

Missing..

• The Group; Mar, Madd, Meg, Kels, Kj, Karl, and most importantly everyone else.
• The School. I swear, best middle school I could imagine. I made a change there, too bad if didn't stick there too long.
• Band. MAHN! Why'd I quit? Grrrrrrr. I should've stayed. Clarinet was my thing, and Bass Clarinet was even better.
• National HistoryDay. That competition was seriously what made my middle school world the best. It's how I learned to act, what it was like to win, lose, and get over it. I will never forget how NHD literally shaped my life. I loved NHD more than all of my school subjects all together.

Loving..

• Als, Sandisan, Nikki, Anre, Esther, Jhoann, Hao, Mary, Jeff, Richard, Dalvyn, Manbir, Gerry, Charlie, James, and everyone else I know there.
• KMTA, sonn. Mahn I thought this program would be easy in the beginning, and it was okay. Then in the middle I started procrastinating and not spending my time wisely. BUT MAHN. The end of the semester really has taught me alot to now and just WOWZAS. It was all really worth it. The stress, the rebelliousness, the boyfriend, the tears. I now know what to do for the next semester, and the next school years to come.
• Filipino and Key Club. I love Filipino Club. It may not have consistent members but it's okay. We try, and work hard. We may not always be on task, but when we are, we are a club, a family. WOOT WOOT. Key club is amazing. Key club's frizzin' bawb. Always connected and so organized with plenty of events. I love to be a part of both.
• This blog. I learned sort of how to write and show people how I feel. I'm not that hard to get to know, but it's kind of hard to figure me out. I'm proud to say that I'm confusing, but I have good intentions; too big of a heart thinking 24/7. Aha.

Waiting..

• Semester 2. I'm going to change this semester. Not by habits and ways, but myself. I haven't really been myself. Today I glanced at a picture about a year ago with a couple of middle school friends and almost cried. That girl looked so happy and carefree. She had hopes that she felt she could reach and didn't have a care for those who doubt her. As long as she didn't doubt herself, then all would be perfect. Yes, perfect. Not the striving perfection that everyone wants, but the plain perfection that I was just content with. Can't explain but hopefully you get it.
• Track season. Dude, I'm going to run my heart out. I'm going to show the world that I can RUN. With Als by my side. Woot.
• Sophomore or the whole school election. I have newer and better ideas for this. I have high hopes and faith. I'll start when it's soon going to start.
• The end of Freshmen Year. I want to see how I turn out.

It's A Hard Knock Life.

Finally, I feel at peace. I can't help, but smile and think of all the good things in life. Just a couple of weeks ago, A.B. told me that "Perfection's just a bore", and that really is true. Except perfection is too hard and inevitable. All my life I've always tried to be the best, the number one, and sorta become close to that. But it didn't satisfy me. It was as if that just wasn't good enough. The only time I ever felt geuninely at equal balance was when I was with my beloveds.

I look in the mirror and expect to see something great, yet I see disappointment on my expression. There's still some place or someone or something that I haven't quite reached yet. My goal is to reach that. There's one more day until the new semester. I'm looking forward for a clean slate. I ruined my first semester, but I'm not going to ruin this one. So help me God, I'll pray to you every night like I always do and hope for the best.

KMTA, and KM are one of the best things happened in my life. I hope they see that.

[A game. Write the first person's name who comes to your mind.]

Alison B. If it wasn't for you, I probably would've changed into a completely different person right now. You always make me feel good about myself, and I love having you see how great and freaking smart you are. Bwaha. Mahn I'm glad I'm the reason you can stay up at 5 a.m. in the morning. I love you, kay? Never forget that. You know me, I can't really put how I feel into words. There's too much and I'd rather look you in your beautiful brown eyes and tell you what's in my heart.

Brandon T. I think YOU are the real reason I am who I am this very second. You turned me tomboy so young as a kid, and today I'm like half girl and half boy. Hahaha. I've never had to worry about you because I know that you'll always be there to just look at me and pretend as if you don't care.

Emmalyn L. I know we didn't get too great in the start, but in the end it all worked out. I just want you to know that I love you. Bwhaha. You're so calm and good. STAY THAT WAY! You're the only one left my love. Haha. Know that the Fab6 is always here. What can I say?

EJ V. Thank you. Thank you for letting her have a reason to smile when she wakes up, and when she closes her eyes at night. I know you'll take care of her. Being on my own for awhile without her helped me learn to depend on myself. But it also taught me how much she meant to me. Woot woot! Arigato!

Jaimee M. I love you. There's no other person out there that is sorta like me, except you. You're one of the only people who understands me. But right now, you have other things. That's fine, but one day I'll tell you the whole story, from once upon a time, to the end. I look at and into you and see all this beauty and amazingness, like I said, one day I'll tell you it all! You're a fab6, what can I say?

Justin P. Okay, weird right? You are one of my Thank Yous. I learned how to be a good girlfriend and know from experience that after one breakup, that's it, yo. Haha. Still today we are best friends and make fun of each other. You're one of the awkwardest people I know. You know your Mum loves me.:P

KJ K. Mahn, you dude were my first guy best friend of middle school. We got ourselves in so much drama. Dayuhng. You are seriously one of the coolest people I know. You and Karl are just freaking amazing. I love you guys haha.

Lauren C. Girl, you are a Fab6. What can I not say about you? I know you don't want me to see you a leader, then I'll choose to view you as an example. I love you. You know that, right? Even if distance keeps us apart, like Ally says "We got unconditional love no matter what, yo".

Mark M. You are my cousin. You are like the perfect brother for me, too. You and I are too much alike in our in heart and our heads. Even if you're mind is somewhere else, as long as I got some part in your heart, it's all good.

Natrice L. Holy frizz, Nat. I swear, you make me feel spontaneous like I could do anything. You have always been downright bawb in my eyes since you can't see it my dear. Haha. You're a Fab6. What else could I say?

Paul S.G. You are my first puppy love. You showed me how to be good-hearted, and be obedient. I have never been more grateful to have met such a person. You taught me so much and I trusted you with all my heart. I'm always here for you dude. Duhh.

Von Dexter A. As my last person to write about, there are no words to describe how appreciated I am that you stepped into my life. Seeing your smile is enough to warm my heart for a week dude. In my whole life I will never forget you. In yours, I hope you don't forget me. I love you, Von. Wish you knew that. You showed me how to life myself up and fly. 8]

The Greatest 24 Hours of my Life.

5pm is when it began. That moment on until 5pm the next day, which is today, was a most memorable brief period of excellence. I was able to look at the faces I most missed, spend time doing the unexpected, and finding myself.

At first when Lioness and Nut Trees picked Astro and I up at church, Astro was already in the car with then. Of course, I was late to come. But it's all good. So many words were bouncing in my head. Lioness is so beautiful to me and the happy glow around Nut Trees couldn't stop me from smiling. I talk to Astro like 24/7, but I still missed her anyways. Haha. In the car it was pretty awkward because Lioness and Astro have been in an out of the world war. But they have respect for their surroundings and the people around them so no hurt or words were put out. They haven't seen each other in five months, and now they have to look, talk, and deal with each other for the next 24 hours. Her mum had to grocery shop at Great Wall, so that was our destination before saetting off to Lioness' house.
Great Wall Events:
A stolen head band.
A boy staring from a smoothie shop.
A bubble tea drink with four straws.
Laughing and running around forgetting about the time and tension.

When we left we got to Lioness' house and started off with playing Rock Band, and that was for about a couple hours. Then we ate food and just talk about EVERYTHING. You know how girls are, they never run out of things to talk about. I could feel as if every second being lost was another string being placed back into our blanket of friendship. We talked about boys, family, school, people, our dreams, our nightmares, our fears, and more importantly ourselves. We ended up sneaking out of the house to lay down on the road to gaze at the stars. Thinking of Jinks, we knew we had to treasure this adventure. Billions of pictures were tooken and memories were created. We ended up sleeping around 3:30 or 4 in the morning. The Lioness roared at us the following morning about that. Muahaha.

We awoke to the doorbell and high-pitched voice of Jinks. It was a bit awkward and unsteady when we first saw her, but that changed the second we saw her real smile once again. Mahn, did it feel good. It took awhile, but it came. We ate doughnuts for breakfast, and had a Guitar Hero Battle! We decided that today we were going to go to the mall. All five of us made this such a big deal by putting on makeup, straightening and curling our hair, putting on all of Lioness' clothes, and taking a bajillion pictures. We looked nothing like ourselves, but just us 5 together was all we needed to have people see who we are; best friends for life. We spent the rest of the day gossiping, yelling, crying, laughing, spending money, eating, and then parting at a goodbye at 5 pm.

There's no other friendship that I've ever heard of that is as strong and weird like the Fab 6. I love them. I hope they know that. I know that we will always love each other no matter what we go through. For all those best friends, friends, siblings, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, here's some advice.

"Fighting and being torn up is the worst infliction of pain to the heart and body. You gotta remember though, baby, the best part of all this hurt is the fix and happy ending. You should never give up or throw away something that let you smile and warmed your heart. God blessed you with a gift, why give it up?"-Anonymous.

Prompt #256.

There it was.
All alone.
With no one watching.
No one listening.

If it fell, no birds would stir.
No squirrels would skitter.
The air would say the same.
The wind may be the blame.

It used to be beautiful.
Swaying ever so gracefully.
Now it's unaided, and ignored.
It is looked upon with hate and abhor.

Why doesn't anyone listen?
Can't anyone see?
It is all alone.
If you looked close in the forest, there it is shown.

It has finally fallen.
Without a sound.
The feeling of despair.
Can only be felt if you feel, hear, and stare.

p.s. I know I'm not that skilled at writing, but it's okay. I'm trying. *smile*

Prompt #131.

Jocelyn Rundle loves to feel in control. She is strong-wililed, determined, and a perfectionist. She tends to ignore pain, push herself and body signals ignoring warning signals. Situation: Jocelyn is in an airport, where her flight is cancelled. She is on her way to the most important meeting of her career life. What does she she do?


Jocelyn Rundle freaks out. Pulling her hair, she's calling her friends and coworkers on what she should do. People around her dodge her as she speedwalks to the phone booth because her cell phone has just died. She is FREAKING OUT! Jocelyn's stress timer is like a bomb. KABOOM! She yells at the person who calls out the announcements when is the next available flight. The next flight is about several days from now at 11 a.m. Her meeting is tomorrow night at 7 p.m. She speaks fast and very loud in the phone as if she is like a siren of a policecar rushing to get where it needs to. Jocelyn jumps and jolts in every turn of the way in the airport she gets to. She skids and stops at every corner. Jocelyn is clueless of what to do next.

Mahn, I can totally relate to her. Right now, I want to weep. I want to cry until I run out of tears and breath. I want to slowly evolve into an organism that is connected with the ground and just stay put gradually turning into stone. So that I could just stay put, solid, not having to move and inch or break, but to just stay for at least a couple seconds.

A Time for Us.

Someday we'll be in each other's arms.
Where we'll feel like we're tucked in where we can't be harmed.
I wish that it could be sooner.
But it can't because it has to stay the as it was or were.
I never could find the words to my heart.
Neither my mind or soul for they're all apart.
With the thoughts that overfill my mind, stress always comes around.
I must keep everything all in, never a sound.

Those who knows, don't have to ask.
They just let me cry, scream, and shout, letting the moment pass.
Some day we'll be together.
When the chains will rust and wither.
For now, we must hide ourselves in this world filled with pain and sorrow.
Waiting for the sunrise of the 'morrow.
At last we'll see, a bright and shining place for you and me.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 09!!!!!!!!=]

1. Get a 6-pack of abs.
2. Be more involved in church.
3. NO BOYS! Sorry, male gender. Bwahha.
4. Can't talk to backstabbing, multi-faced, ugly-insided people.
5. BE A PERFECT 4.0+ STUDENT.
6. Wait for him. Ssh...
7. Live my life to the fullest for this 2009.
8. Think more for myself.
9. Stay united to loved ones.
10. Write a classical piece.